I don't know the answer to that question either. And there is probably no one who would give me that info.

But, I am really done in Jerry Springersville. OW, OWH and WH all know that her name will be brought up in a legal document. Now, I don't think that will cause an immigration problem, but apparently they all do. But there is probably much more to the story than I know.

I also feel like I will never be able to meet whatever need for WH that OW does. I firmly believe that she just sits there and coos at him. I can't do blind admiration. I have had a great deal of respect for him in the past (but I am sure that he will say I never showed it, so I must have not done a good enough job).

They both still deny a PA, which makes absolutely no sense to me. I really think I may be dealing with a reverse case of the madonna/wh0re complex. They are probably banging each other, but knowing my WH, I can seriously believe that they don't want their "love" tainted by a physical thing.

It is just the weirdest thing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Has your H tried calling you yet? I sure do wish you would take his call. I just can't wait to hear his take on all this!

Nope, no call yet. I am not sure that I can say "I did this to save my M", because I really didn't and he has told me repeatedly that there is no M to save to butt out of his life.

I can say that I needed OW's name and it was a pleasure meeting her H also.

I am surprised that I haven't heard anything yet. I am hoping that OWH may have forbidden OW to call WH for one last goodbye. I really have no idea what is going on.

And for the record, I would like to save my M, I just have to be OK with it not working out.

Everyone thinks I am crazy for wanting to work it out, so I am not comfortable talking about proM stuff-no one wants to hear it.

This is just the oddest thing I have ever seen. I can't imagine how this could possibly work out, there is no way for him to come home and save face. He can't make it look like he made a mistake-it is just not in his nature.

Yeah, there could be. H wants dry cleaner = OW wants GC ???

I have seen the most rotten of immigrants, so that is why I question what they are doing. But I don't want to be presumptuous (sp?). But...you could have broken up a big immigration fraud scheme.

Love, Lady

Ladysheep,
That is the only scenario that makes sense to me. That he is toying with OW to get her H's business from him. But he has also said the he has the utmost respect for OWH in a business sense. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I definately think there is some wonky immigration stuff going on. I think that is the reason that WH's boss was so quick to cover for WH. There has been a great effort to protect her identity from the ole psycho wife.

I am starting to get that sick feeling in my stomach since I haven't heard anything. Nothing I am imagining is good. But I have been wrong about everything so far.

The worst thing he could do is try to finnacially freeze me out, which I am mentally (but not financially) prepared for. But, I won't have much trouble slapping this house and its contents on the auction block as fast as I can.

Or, he could go get an attorney tomorrow and explain that he MUST divorce me soon since I just keep meddling in his affair. I just don't see how he can spin this to an attorney. I don't have any fear of harrassment charges or anything, I really don't think that OWH was offended by my presence.

Or, OWH won't let her say goodbye (again) and he just doesn't know what is up yet.

Here is a question-when he confronts me about the exposure. Every time we have had an exposure conversation, he wants to know everything that was said, who all I have spoken to etc. I just don't feel compelled to have that conversation with him about this. I could be a smart a$$ about it, but there is no point in doing that. He will want a play by play of what happened. I have been completely honest about everything (after the fact), but I just don't care to tell him what was said between OW, OWH and I.

Any suggestions on replies to his replay request?

Hi Jean!

Just popping in here to say WAY TO GO! I'm glad you got that exposure thing done, whether or not you still want your H back.

My H wanted to know all details too. I didn't feel compelled to tell him either. I told him most everything though. He kept asking, I kept telling. Oh well. Like they can do anything about it.....My WH wanted me to call the OWH and tell him that I "misunderstood" how OW's CD got in WH's car!! He wanted me to lie!!

Good grief.

Again,Good Job!!!!

Kimberly

Thanks Kim, and good job to you on your plan B'ing

It took long enough didn't it! But it really went well. I am actually glad that they/she had told him something, I didn't want to have to tell someone that. But he did know, I just think he was surprised that I had a probelm with it too. So I guess they were telling their spouses that the other spouse was OK with the open marriage concept or whatever.

It will be interesting to see what his next move is. I will not divorce him without the adultery in the papers. He doesn't want her name mentioned, so he can't really divorce me?? I think he would know that if he sues me for D on something else, I will counter file for A, her name will be listed. So I can't figure out how he plans on D'ing me without getting her deported.

Interesting predicament.

Yep, those WH's have a hard time thinking straight. Hurting's H doesn't think he's going to have to pay her A!! Your's thinks he can file for D based on I. differences & mine is trying to get me to refinance a home with him!!!

GEEZ. If they could only step out of the fog long enough to look at it through another set of eyes instead of an alien's eyes they would see how completely foolish they are.

Kim

I would just love to see him in an attorney's office explaining that he has to divorce me quickly on irr differences because I keep talking about his OW.

And what is up with your H? He wants to roll over his CC debt on the mortgage that he doesn't intend to be around for?

That WS calculator thingy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Oooh Jean, u asked for reverse babble lines and I an't resist. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

1st of all you don't owe him any explanation but the WS' warped mind has to know what the BS has been and will be up to. That way, the WS and OP can plan their next moves. In reality, they are not very creative..... just like to torture the BS and family.


[color:"blue"]k, here's my RB response:

WS: I heard u went to see OW and her H. What happened?

BS: U did? Yea, I did.

WS: What happened.

BS: I met OW and her H.

WS: Give me details.

BS: No can do.

WS: Why not.

BS: U have to go clear that with her H 1st.

WS: Why?

BS: 'cuz.

WS: Answer me.

BS: I am, just like you answer me. Thought you like this kind of responses. Now if you want to know more, go ask OW's H. Don't you trust your source? Isn't she suppose t/b truthful and full of crap?!?!?

WS: I don't know what you are talking about.

BS: Oh, ok.

Ws: So you aren't going to tell me?

BS: Can't.... it was in Korean. I don't translate well..... yet.

WS: What?

BS: I'm still learning how to say, 'May I have your name'.

WS: You can't say that in Korean.

BS: Well not real good but it goes something like:

(May I have your name?)

Chonun Mrs. WS rahgo hamnida.
My name is Mrs. WS.

Of course it's best not to give her my name until after
I got here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

Thanks Orchid! I wish I could have a RB translator handy. I would probably do better becoming fluent in RB. I really need to work on this. I try so hard to stay calm and logical when speaking to him. I weigh my words carefully and don't LB and try to sound reasonable. That is not the language I need to use. I think I need to be calm, respectful, no LBers with a splash of Jeff Spicoli from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" (the big pot head), that would probably more effective.

Jean36,

This is weird, and you don't have all the answers yet.
I wonder if the pastor could find out what relationship OWH and OW have together. Either they are married or not married. Some immigrants have went as far as divorcing in thier native country then come here live together find an American spouse, get a GC, then divorce, all awhile staying with thier 1st spouse of thier country. Of course immigration has finally gotten more strict since 911, but I think many still try it that way. The reason I am thinking this is because they are not having SF, so it could be, but I may be wrong.


I knew a couple many years ago, came from India. They were H and W in thier country, divorced, both came here and lived together. They called themselves cousins here, the woman had triplets, and got welfare assistance, nurses coming into the home, Food stamps etc... H found an american woman, paid her to marry him, got GC. All a while they lived together and the man ran a store...such corruption. Do you know how I found this out. I was visiting the W and babies one day, and a nurse came to the house to look after one of the sickly babies. She told me they were cousins....I was shocked, because I knew they were H and W really. These two had 3 children together, cousins????? I told her no they are not, secretively of course, they were really H and W at one time. They had the babies by artificial insemination. I'm telling you I don't trust many immigrants....And it's hard to track those kind in thier native country because there are so many with the same first and last name.

Before 911 immigrants could get any frauded documents they wanted off the streets for big bucks.... maybe they still can. INS has cracked down since 911, but I'm sure it still goes on.

Just have your antenas up Jean36.

Love, Lady

I know that it is such a weird situation and hard to make a plan without all the info. Honestly, immigrations thing was a big roadblock to our initial recovery attempt. I needed disclosure as to where she worked so I would know if they were in contact. WH refused to give me that info which showed me from the get go that his priority was protecting his OW at the expense of his W. I am not sure that we ever stood a chance since he wouldn't tell me anything about her.

He would tell me everywhere HE was during the day, but I never knew at which cleaners SHE was.

The only people that say they live together are people at their business. That, plus the "double dating" comment WH made after D-Day are the pro H/W remarks. Plus, they just bought the buisness together in June.

On the flip side, even the pastor I talked to, who thinks he knows the couple, says it is a M for immigrations. I have an address, but have been unable to catch either of them at it, nor have I been able to find a neighbor who can tell me if they live together.

But she spends time at WH hotel, but I have no proof of any overnights. He spent time at her apt, but always came home at night. The A had a physical component after a month or too, but they stopped because she felt guilty. (according to WH, which sounds truthful, if he was going to lie, he would have said they stopped because he felt guilty)

It is hard to belive that WH may be screwing his kids over to get an in on owning this business. That is just too cold hearted for me to consider. And it wouldn't seem likely that she would get the business if they divorced, esp if her A is documented in my D.

But, I am trying to figure out a situation with so little info, very frustrating.

What WH told me about the M in the beginning was this: she came to US, they hooked her up with OWH, they married, after a while it wasn't working out, but they were staying M for immigrations.

He is older than she is (she is 24-26) he is 39. He has children from a previous R.

Jean, It really sounds like a "shady thing" to me. But you need more info for sure. I thought the pastor said he doesn't think they are living together as man and wife. You are not getting clear answers, people telling you at the cleaners they just live together, WH telling you they are married. Either way, I hope you find the truth to the whole matter.


Love, Lady

Jean, I don't think your H knows what the heck is going on and how those people could really screw him in the end.

Love, Lady

Ladysheep,
It could be some very twisted and probably very illegal thing. I just can't imagine the fog being so deep that WH would get involved with something that would have such serious consequences. But, I just don't know anything anymore.

Oh, the kids just told me that Daddy says he has to get a divorce because Mommy is on the computer too much. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />