You the cause of all his problems????

If he wants to see the cause of all his problems he need not look further than between his legs. As a male I have to confess that in his wisdom God made Man with a brain and a penis but only with enough blood to use one at a time.

Well that might have put a damper on his filing now, so that is a good thing. I'm telling you, you have to be one step ahead of those kind of people at all times. You're doing pretty good at it.

They we're probably at dinner trying to put together thier next little plan. They are dismayed, confused and do live in a twilight zone. Trust me Jean, I have seen some people just like them, that is how I know the way they work.

Them meeting together was not an open marriage friendly thing. They were probably talking about how you ruined all their plans for today....Oh well!!

Thanks for the encouragement and the laugh.

But my darling WH is still denying that they are sleeping together. In the beginning, I jokingly encouraged him to go ahead and bang her, I would hate for him to throw his family away and then find out she is a bad lay.

I just don't get lying about it for this long. But we had another family member do the exact same thing. Left his wife for a married woman (also Asian) and always denied a physical relationship. I would love to talk to him and get the scoop on this WH crap. This guy ended up marrying the woman and now he is miserable and still calls his exwife.

Maybe that is one of my problems. SF is a bif EN of mine. If he would admit to a PA, I could possibly accept that he is making an infomed decision. Now, logically, I figure they had to have slept together by now, I know that they were physical before D-day. If he would just say, yeah, I'm banging her and she is much better than you-I could go on (maybe).

I really, really want something that makes sense. And this dinner with OW and OWH and WH-that has just thrown me for a loop. OWH looked enraged at OW the day I spoke to him, WH says he is only mad about me making a scene at work-which I didn't. I asked to speak to OW, she came out, asked me outside. No scene at all.

It does really bug me that WH will accept OW and OWH's word over mine. Through this whole ordeal, I have not lied to him once. His relationship with these two people started out with lies and manipulation.

Quite the roller coaster.

It is also interesting to me that he is just now getting around to chewing me out about my mom going into the business, and that was like 2-3 weeks ago. And what he quoted my mom as saying to the emplyees lets me know that OW/OWH are lying to WH about what mom said, my mom would not use that language.

So now, WH has tried to forbid my mom from using the dry cleaners that she has used for 20+ years. They will refuse to serve her since she is the mother of the BS that the owner is A'ing with the husband of. That makes good business sense.

My take on this is this....

An affair may not be going on at all. That is why WH is denying SF. OWH put on a big act with you when you exposed.
Thier dinner together, all 3 of them and making plans together have something to do with immigration stuff. I just know it.

Lady

That is how I know you put a damper on their filing plans. Now they don't know what to do! Oh well!

So help me ladysheep figure this out. Let's say that OWH is a citizen and OW is not, what is in it for OWH to get involved with my WH.

There may be no PA yet (but unlikely) but there is a EA. That is how he got busted, lovey dovey text messages on his phone. His work buddy has witnessed them together and says WH has lost his mind.

What in the world could possibly be going on??

That is what I asked WH, if I had some inkling of the facts, I could act on the truth. But he leaves me now choice but to try to find it out myself. I wonder if I can get a copy of the business license and try to get some kind of tax ID number. Finding out who is/is not a citizen would be helpful (I guess)

I know OWH said immigrations to OWH, he sid that in English. WH snugly said that OWH is not afaid of immigrations tonight, which would make sense based on what he said after D-Day. That OW may get deported and OWH may be charged with fraud.

So if she can become a citizen by staying married to OWH, why is she after my WH, and why is OWH cool with all this??

Jean,

Maybe OWH is not OWH. OWH may really be OW father or brother? Did you ever think of that? They may all be lying to you saying he is her H when he is not to keep you off track.

OWH??? has children from a previous relationship possibly his real wife?

I know this sounds strange, but it's a possibility.

Possibly, there is about a 13-15 year difference, could be an older brother/cousin.

I have heard (from WH) that OWH has children from a previous relationship.

Is there a way to find out someone's citizenship status?

For now, all I know to do is make sure that she is named in the D, even if I have to countersue. I am getting less nervous about the D and more nervous about what WH has gotten himself in the middle of. But, I just need to cover my butt. Don't file the taxes with him, make sure that I have a child support order in place before OW gets pregnant and just keep selling stuff to generate as much cash in case WH skips town.

Oddly enough, he used to be such a straight up guy, conservative republican, always followed the rules. It is been so weird seeing this happen to him.

jean,


He has lost his mind ...... They all have and I am so tired of watching it...... I have had people tell me the same thing about my WH ... He has lost it what the yall say.... He defiantley is not the same person and he seems to be the only one who does not see it..... Well except for scumbag OW who is as wacked as he is .......

Dang I must be mad tonight I usually don't call them names... lol

I think OWH???(or whoever he is) is cool with all of it because all he is interested in is OW getting a green card!

You may be able to call the local Immigration office and find out. Ask to talk to an immigration investigator or interviewer. Tell them your story and they may let you know. It is important that you know.

Lady

OK, so if the guy parading aroung as OWH is an older brother, then a meeting between WH, OW and OWH would make sense.

But, when I confronted OW and OWH, he reacted like a H who was pretty pissed about his wife's risky actions. Of course, he was decent to me than told me WH that they wanted me and my family to all stay away from his business (according to WH).

Interesting idea, something I will look into although I am not sure how. But I will not assume that "OWH" is who he says he is. He could very well be a mad older brother that is doing everything he can to protect his sibling and she is screwing it up.

This crap is just ridiculous, why couldn't he have an A with just some run of the mill redneck woman.

Jean,

I am just now catching up with what's going on with you! That is just freakish. OWH, WH and OW together at dinner. It doesn't sound like you can trust any of them!!

Something does seem extremley fishy with this whole sitch. An A? I think definitely. But something else too....

The WH's are all crazy!!!!!!!!

Kim

Jean,

Whatever the WS says for you and your family t/d regarding his A can't be trusted.

Now go march back to the business and raise that question. Ask OW's H or any person in that store....

Jean: Hi I have a question, may I please speak to the owner or manager?

Mgr: I am the manager, how can I help you?

Jean: I have been informed that my family may no longer bring their business here to your cleaners. This means that myself and all our family and friends in this area will have to take their dry cleaning and alterations elsewhere. Before we make that move, I was wondering what this is all about?

(remember to let them explain).

Mgr: I don't know what you are talking about. Your famiy and friends are welcome to do business here.

Jean: Well you do a good job on our clothes for a fair price, what I don't like is that at least 1 of your employees likes to sleep around with American men. That makes the rest of our community wonder about your business.

Mgr: I am not aware this is going on. I will look into this matter.

Jean: Good, please let me know. Right now it is all I can do to keep these people from taking their business elsewhere. Your location is convenient for them but they do not tolerate untrustworthy employees.

Mgr: Uh.... I will let you know.

Jean: Here is my phone #. May I have your business card? Your name is: __________ ______?

Mgr: Yes

Jean: Thank you for speaking with me, good day.

I would go to their sister store and give the above convo. Since you are already being tagged as being a w!tch....

JMHO,
L.

Thanks Orchid for the idea. Do you have any theories on the dinner with WH, OW and wife?

After sleeping on it, I think there is a possibility that the dinner may have been OWH's goodbye talk for this A. The body posture in the picture would support that. WH leaning against a large pol/divider thing, OW looking gloom with her head in her hands and OWH leaning over the table talking. I will probably never know-but he might have been telling the two lovebird to cool it.

Wh's behavior would also support that. The verbal bashing I got last night was pretty similar to the last exposure one. The "you are so stupid, stay out of my life". For some reason, when ever I do something that he disagrees with-he questions my intelligence. Narcissism at its finest.

He also asked if he could take the kids for the weekend to his sisters. There is that panic that he is planning on taking OW with him, but I am not sure that he is that lost. I do not think his sister will welcome OW into her home whole heartedly, his sister is a former BS who has defended my exposure in the past. So maybe he is going to think.

And if he did take OW with him, I think that would help me in court if it comes to that.

Nothing has really changed since last night in my mind. Either "OWH" is her husband or he is not, but I don't think it changes my actions. Once this dies down again, I may throw out the "OWH's or brother or whoever he is" and see how WH reacts, see if I can get him to think I know something I don't.

I think I will text message him and let him know he can keep the kids tonight again if he wishes. As long as their visit is going well, I would like the girls to have as much time with him as possible.

If you wwant answers


It is simple Jean!

Quit commisurating over WH and OW and OWH...

Get a PI! Have as much info as you can about them. PI can find out the real truth.

Borrow money from family if need be...you may need $$ for this and an attorney if WH doesn't pull head out of [censored].

But all this could be would be might be stuff can easily be found out!

Thanks Peachy

I may just call a PI tomorrow and see if I can find out marital and immigrations status of OW/OWH. Maybe the PI can give me a $ figure that I can work with.

I wish I could get my WH to undestand that my actions re: OW/OWH are not out of retaliation, but out of legal protection. Maybe I am wrong, but if this gets to D, I figure I will be in a better position being the BS as opposed to just the "we couldn't work it out wife".

I am still hoping that once WH sees a lawyer, maybe some of the fog will clear. He has been out of the house for 6 weeks, he has not gotten an apartment, he has not seen an attorney. It is hard to tell whether he is still unsure about what he is doing, or if he is just extremely lazy.

I keep thinking that if he gets an apartment and signs a lease, that will be a sign of his intentions.

Today is two months after D-Day. It has been a wild ride. Two months and one day ago, we were planning a trip to Disney with the kids, our first real family vacation. Now, my WH is dining with his mistress and her husband, plotting my destruction. Two months and one day ago, my children were happy and secure, now they clearly say that Daddy has chosen his own happiness over the families and they may lose their home.

And to think, we could have already been divorced by now if he had just filed before he hooked up with OW.

So who do I want to be now? I want to be a lady with class and principles that will protect my dignity and the safety of my children with mother bear enthusiasm. I do not want to act rashly or without thought to ramifications. I want to know that I did everything to save my M, and if that fails, I will do everything I can to protect my children from the sick muck of adultery and the disgusting smog that surrounds it.

I can't sit here and worry about what WH will see. Even if I turn into everything he says he wants, he will just say that it won't last. There is no one who knows WH that has said he is thinking clearly, that is very validating to me, but also very frustrating.

It has only been two months, it feels like an eternity, but is probably just a small blip on the radar of my life. It is what I make of the blip that is important to me and my children.

I hate this crap <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hi Jean, another idea is....If the Immigration office is close by, maybe you could go and talk to someone in person there. Do you have the full names of OWH??? and OW?

If you go to the Immigrations office ask to speak with a immigration investigator or interviewer.

Tell them your H is having an affair with OW and you have been told OW is married and has no citizenship. Tell them you just need to know because you want to protect your family legally from what is happening. Tell them that you exposed the A to OWH??? And then they were all seen together at dinner one night. Tell them you are very suspicious, and could they please check into it and see if the two are really married, and what their immigration status is.

You never know, OWH??? could also be an immigrant smuggler. Either way, I would want to find out if I were you. You see it isn't just a A there, it could be some plans for immigration fraud going on.
I would think they would check for you. This is why they made Homeland Security since 911.

Lady

I can relate to those feelings Jean. Again, though I admire you for not just tredding water/standing still & taking a long time to push through with actions. That is one of my problems.

Years from now we will be far past this time in our lives - and will be far wiser and stronger than we are today. You are already headed there. I can sense it so strongly from you that no matter what happens with you and WH you are going to do great taking care of yourself and your kids.

Kim <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />