****Sigh******

Jean;

You'll know you are on the road to personal "recovery" when you stop thinking like you did above.

I think you are having some personal confusion with wanting to save your wayward husband from his OWN decisions vs feeling empathatic for him. You'll be stuck in this stage a bit longer untill you figure this out.

Once again, I don't necessarily have any 2 x 4's or any other sage advice.

It is what it is. You are a big girl, and I believe are not "delusional" at all. You'll be angry at yourself, and perhaps silently promise yourself that this is "it", but you'll probably ante right back up and get on the dysfunctional rollercoaster that is your life with your WH.

I'd like for you to be able to prove me wrong. I won't hold my breath.

When you stop this lifesaver routine, and stop acting and reacting to everything your WH says, then maybe, just maybe you'll "get it".

Untill then, it will be SSDD.

But, alas, I know you know this already. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Take care,

Lem

I know it's hard Jean, and you will have to hear about it every weekend.

It's too bad even his best friend has given up.

I don't think it's right for him to flaunt OW to the girls, he has to realize how unhealthy emotionally that could be for them. I would definitely bring that up with the lawyer too.

Lady

I appreciate your input Lemonman. I have even said here before (maybe on one of the anti-Lemon threads) that I appreciate you challenging my thoughts. I remember saying that if I ever wanted to take WH back, I would hope that you would challenge me on that.

Me withdrawing the petition would be just another "let WH stomp on Jean" party.

I love him, but I'll get over it.

Lady, every weekend is the same ole same ole. But him refusing to let OD call me is just a little over the top. So I will get them a pay as you go phone to take with them next weekend.

When I heard what best friend said, I wanted to leap up and rescue my poor pitiful WH, I am all he has left blah blah blah.

I hope this temporary lapse is just PMS.

I will not withdraw the petition at this time.

LMFAO...which one of the 50 threads would that be? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Lem

Yes I agree... his not letting OD call you is not good Jean.
Cruel really!!! Good idea on the phone for them. They should never be kept from calling you.

Pray that the Lord will lead that man to repentance Jean.

Lady

Thanks Ladysheep

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Arrrgh..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Time to let the mediator, child support people, your lawyer or whoever, that the WS is not fit to have the children. He is exposing them to scary things that could give them nightmares.

Sorry you and your children r dealing with such an idiot.

L.

We slacked off on the counseling during the holidays, plus the therapists said OD was progressing so well, we could cut back. I will call and get another appt so OD can touch bases with the counselor.

OD did OK last night after a small melt down. She just doesn't sleep good at her dad's and they don't eat regularly and they are both fried on Sunday night. So I gave them a warm bath and they slept with me.

Maybe the counselor can get WH in to talk to her. The parenting class should be soon. WH did tell his best friend "the only reason the kids can't call me is because their mother is such a b*tch" (because he refuses to answer my calls) . I think that is when the friend decided to be done with this mess too.

The kids are studying Early American History, different Indian tribes and they are making totem poles representing their clan or tribe. The didn't know whether to put their dad on their totem pole or not...

Very sad, and he has no clue how much damage he is doing.

Nothing much new going on, I have not spoken to WH since New Years Day. We are using a third party to make the kid schedule as WH has refused to take my calls.

Next court date is Jan 25th.

I was trying to get the girls a prepaid phone today since WH won't let them call me when they are with him. They told me he said "It is stupid that you can not go one day without speaking to your mother" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I started ADs last week, they are making me grind my teeth in my sleep and I have chipped a molar. I will have to get a bite splint, I forgot that this happened last time I was on ADs.

WH did leave me a check last Friday and I went to Walmart and spent $60.00 today - woo hoo!! It is so funny to get a thrill out of spending a little money without freaking out about it.

The ADs seem to be making me a little lethargic which I interpret as sadness. But, rationally, I know it is not sadness, just dullness.

The kids had a really bad weekend with WH. They have been sleeping with me since then. I made them a counseling appt for Monday.

Hopefully, the tide will change soon. I hate thinking that WH will remain angry at me forever (although I really don't think he has a valid reason to be mad at me). I don't know how we will get to amicable coparenting from here.

Hey Jean....

Are the kids going to WH's this weekend as well? Will they have the cell phone before they leave to see him?

I still cannot believe he is being so dum about this. If your girls want to call you they should be able to (unless he has no phone!). He just doesn't want to be reminded of you in any way I think.

I wonder if I am feelign the 'dullness" as well. I cannot decide.

Take care....


Daisy

They will be with WH Saturday night and I have a phone for them to take with them. I let my attorney know about him refusing to let them call me and his refusal to let me know where he has moved to.

I am really trying to just focus on the children's and my recovery and let the lawyers handle the rest.

That is a good plan Jean....

Enjoy your evening..
Daisy

GOOD!

Jean, Geez. Your WH has some misplaced anger here. Your kids are going through so much and he just can't see that. But they have you. THEY HAVE YOU. The most important person in their lives right now. You are there solid rock.

One day .....it will sink in....for your WH.

What comes around, goes around.

{{{{JEAN}}}}

Kim

Thanks Kim and Daisy. Big hugs to both of you!

Same ole, same ole.

I sent the kids to WH with Grandmas cell phone tucked away in OD's gameboy bag. Well, someone called the phone, not me, and that made WH mad. My 6yo called me and said "Dad said for you to never contact us again".

I let grandma know that someone called her, she called WH to find out who it was and to let him know that it wasn't me. His voice mail picked up and said "this is (WH's business name), never call this number again" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />. She called him later and spoke to him. He said he has a legal right to 24 hours with his kids without interference from me. Ok, I did not interfere. So I will have to see if the kids have a legal right to communicate with me if they desire.

Court on Wednesday regarding the temporary support, he did not leave me a check this weekend as his attorney had promised he would.

Ahh the joys of life in waywardville.

Kids have counseling today, I am feeling pretty OK, the AD fog is lifting.

We are just plugging along.

Court tomorrow, wish me luck!!

I am pretty anxious, but kind of apathetic too. I hate having to deal with all this and pretty much don't care how it turns out as long as it is over with soon. Probably not the most healthy attitude, I need a war face to put on.

Jean, I pray you get all you request in court. Be strong.

{{{{{Jean and girls}}}}}

Lady

Hi Jean - My prayers & thoughts will be with you tomorrow.



That is awful. How does he think your daughter felt, having to do that? And I still don't get what's up with him not talking to you. Couldn't he have just called you with that message instead of your 6 year old?

I wish that the judge would have your WH do mandatory counseling. Geez. I think all WH's should have to go through mandatory counseling.

Kim