I was at my sister's yesterday (I am her new after school nanny-so that means extra $$ for me) and the dryer caught on fire! We got the kids outside and we were trying to put out the fire. The kids saw all the fire extinguisher dust coming out of the window and they thought we were dying. They were all very upset. But the fire department made sure it was out and the damage was minimal.

I am just so glad we were there. Laundry was her oldest child's job before they hired me. Her 12yo would have been home alone and probably not noticed the fire until it was too late.

And they have only been in the home for 4-5 months. The lint build-up couldn't have been that bad.

Everyone be sure to vacuum that dryer lint and keep your traps clean. Dryer lint is very flammable. I use dryer lint as fire starters all the time.

Wow, glad you guys were all safe. Hopefully it did not cause any structual damage. You are too funny - you use dryer lint as fire starters? Thanks for the tip!

Milk

Yeah, I actually keep a small box of dryer lint, pull off a chunk when I need to start a fire. It works best when you are drying mostly cotton clothes. It is great tinder. I have started fires using lint and those fire starter thingees that you hit to make a spark, back in my boy scout days!

Hey Jean! Wow - that must have been scary! My sister's dryer did the same thing a few years ago. Her oldest boy tried to put it out, got too close and had major burns on his upper body.

Glad everyone is safe.

And I made a mental note of that fire starter tip too. I am a major "pyro" in the winter. I fire in the fireplace is a must have for me. I will definitely try it this winter!!

Take care,

Kim

I have had to re-evaluate alot since WH said things had slowed down with OW. I did have that surge of thinking "I can get him back now because he is too lazy to look for someone else".

I have had to think alot about my guilt and why I can't let it go. I can forgive WH, why can't I forgive myself. I finally figured out it is all ego based because I really think that I should be better than that. I am not allowed to make big mistakes like that. I dissapointed myself terribly.

So I need to learn some humility, forgive my mistakes and get off my high horse.

Jean,

I so understand what you are feeling. I have reviewed and asked myself so many times why I cannot truly 'accept' the fact our M is ending, and one of the answers was exactly what you are talking about. I cannot 'admit' that I have made a mistake of having ignored WH's problems or forced myself to believe that those issues would dissolve themselves.

So, if you get off your high horse - what does that mean? Do you want to take WH back, or want to move on without the feeling of guilt?

Milk

I need to be able to move on without guilt.

WH is not asking to come back, I am glad I don't have to struggle with that decision.

jean have you had any contact with your H to really know if he wants to come back? has he contacted you at all?

We talk with regards to the kid swap.

I talked to WH's best friend the other day (whom WH has cut off communications with). Friend said that even if the A is over, WH lacks the courage to return home. He also said I need to let go of my guilt, I did all I can do and I should go live my life.

Hi Jean,

Just checking in on you. I see your still struggling with the guilt :-(. I've been listening to a song I thought to share with you. It just happens to speak of shame. And the words in that song came to me as I read your post

"I can't live the same, makin' history of my shame."

The song is called " I Love How" link below if you want to listen to it.

http://www.purevolume.com/sherriyoungward

Huggs,
Lady

That's really sad. And I guess perhaps that might not be a man who needs to be in your life??? I think a lot of WS's have that problem though.

And as far as guilt.....imagine how much guilt he is going though.

Hope you are doing o.k.!

Are you and the girls doing pumpkins this year?

Kim

Hey Ladysheep and Kim, thanks for checking in.

Crappy WH thing-OD said she checked his cell phone for pictures, he deleted OD's pic and has pic of OW there. That really sucked for OD. But we just chalked it up to "googly eyed" behavior and tried to let it go.

OD hates Halloween, so she and I will do something fun while YD goes hunting and gathering candy for the family. I hadn't thought about jack-o-lanterns, I'll see what the kids want to do.

I am obsessing about compost now that growing season is over. Getting garden beds ready for next year. I am trying to limit myself to plants I can harvest. I am dehydrating herbs from my herb garden now. I made a nice patch of pesto from my basil plants. I have a shelf of dried herbs that I grew myself, I go smell them and it makes me smile. I bought a blackberry plant the other day to add to my mini orchard.

I am pretty sure the gardening has saved my sanity this past year.

Nothing much going on. We have a court date-Jan 23rd. We will have to get depositions from OW, OWH and his boss. WH is going to be very angry. But since I can't get him to respond to the settlement agreement, we have no choice but prepare for court.

I asked WH if we were going to court to fight or was he just not willing to help with the settlement. He says he is just too busy to deal with this divorce.

I am tired of anxiety, I am sick of this rot feeling in my gut.

The kids are still roller coastery. Good days and bad days. I am still busy in the yard, now I am clearing the fence line, lots of chopping and chipping and shredding. I have become obsessed about composting.

That's about it.

Ugh...He's too tired??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> How does he think you all feel. Oh yeah, he thinks "it's all about him." Hoping for better days for you and the girls Jean. I know it's not easy.

May God wrap you all in His loving care.

Lady

Thanks Lady,

I do wish there was some way to force him to be considerate. For the weekends, there is no telling when he will decide whether he is getting them or not. I just found out Fri AM that he wasn't picking them up tonight. That leaves me in a babysitter jam this weekend while I am at work. Yes, he is too busy and too tired to deal with us at all.

Did I mention that we will have to have OW and OWH's testify? Hopefully, knowing that they will be brought into this will motivate my poor old tired hubby.

Just stopping by to say hi - I'm following your stich. It sounds like your STBX is still in the "all about HIM" mode.

Good to know that you stay strong.

Milk

Well, WH finally figured out that OW was going to have to be involved in all this divorce mess. He is threatenng me saying that if I have her deposed, he will mortgage the house to pay for another lawyer and take everything including the kids from me.

I hate hearing him sounding so scared, it pulls at my heart strings. I must be one sick puppy.

HI Jean!

He was the one to choose an A!!! Not you!!! So what if OW is going to be deposed?? Don't let that get to you.

My WH tries to make me feel guilty from time to time stating that "he might have to get another job." Tough poopie. It sure is expensive to carry on an A.

Other than that, I just want to send you hugs. I wish I had your green thumb!

Kim

Thanks for stopping by!

If he would just sign the papers, no one would have to testify at all.

(Oh, and the kids say Daddy complains about OW text messaging him every 5 minutes while he is trying to play Xbox)

Jean,

Good to hear from you. Guess the WS still is running on empty, eh? LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

The ow needs to page him more. I mean the A is 2nd to the Xbox? LOL!!! Guess she ain't all that great now is she?!?!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

So u r still working on that yard? I am curious how it is coming along. I wish I could fly you out here to work on mine. LOL!!! It isn't big but will take some imagination to design. I have ideas but H is the gardner by trade and doesn't like my ideas. Howz that for NOT doing POJA!??!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,

L.