It does NOT mean

"I am willing to commit"

Too many BS have fallen for the "Let's try" routine.

Hold out for the real deal.

Let's try = many false recoveries. I lived them.

To try is to lie.

Hey, even *I* didn't fall for that "well . . . I'll try . . . " bullcr*p.

When people get married they do not stand up in front of the witnesses and say, "Well . . . I'll *try* to love you, and I'll *try* to cherish you, and I guess I'll *try* to honor you . . . . " No, they swear to do those things outright.

Don't EVER fall for "I'll try." No one who is truly committed says "I'll try." They say, "I WILL."
Mulan

yeah thats the words I heard both times..... I'll try..

What a crock of crap that was.... first time lasted a week (before MB's)

Second time 3 days..... I can't believe I was do stupid. Don't know if I'll ever hear the commit to marriage thing though he seems content to be with OW. Even though he does try and engage with me every other week or so for SF.... But with planb thats not happening now.....

Self-respect and Plan B are awesome tools to place one's self into the *prize* position.

NOT in the 'give-away' position.

and certainly NOT in the '99 cent-store' position

How you value yourself speaks volumes of what it takes to earn a position by your side ....

only those with integrity need apply

IMO 'try' is the best a WS can come up with when their A is busted and theres no hope of the fairytale future with OP in secret or in a palace anymore.

"I'll try to work on our marriage ( although I'll never love you like OP and OP's promised to be there for me for ever HAHA !!. So m hopes aren't high but I'll 'try' to assuage my guilt"

When an FWS says " I'll try., it means MUCH more IMO.

Rule of thumb with a WS: talk is cheap. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Pep you are so right.

I like how you say the Prize position....

I hope someday he realizes I am the Prize he needs ,but as the days go on I am not so sure he thinks that way.

No matter what I an getting my self-esteem back and am realizing I am worth more that a 99 cent store position. OW can be the 99 cent position , I am high dollar stuff and he needs to figure that out.....

the 99 cent stuff tends to break long before the high dollar stuff......

I hope one day YOU realize YOU are the *prize* that YOU need

when you do, a second-rate man has no appeal

I am getting there pep believe me ..... I have been doing a lot of soul searching and thinking the since my last IC session.

I do realize that I am a good person put into a situation I was never consulted about.

I have been thinking do I really want this kind of person in my life? Do I really want to always wonder if he will do this again?

But on the other hand I remember the love and commitment we had for 24 yrs before this happen. Can it go back to that I don't know. Will I ever trust him again I don't that either.

But I do know one thing for right now I do what the opportunity to find out. I may never have that opportunity I don't that either only WH has that answer, and for now he seems to be ok with his cake-eating life style.And I guess what makes me the maddest is I as his wife know both sides to the story. How he is wanting both of us but OW knows nothing she has no clue he still was coming to me, so she is in the dark on a lot of things.

But in the end I will be the Prize for myself and for whom ever I share my life with be it WH or someone else in the future....

well

next time he cake-eats some sex with you before he commits his life to you

you always have the option of charging him for it ???

.... about 99 cents I think <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

So very true Pep, thank you for tweaking that for me ....

That is something I have been thinking about as well....

Who do I want to be???? Right now I don't have the answer for that either, except I want to be happy in life....

Well he is no longer going to have that option Pep.

I am done with the cake-eating thing....

I am worth more than just a sF partner....

Anyhow I am dark , dark ,dark right now and its going to stay that way....

Being happy is over-rated

try being strong


try being smart

try being noble

try being a person of stellar integrity

Did you know that you can be happiest when you love and respect yourself? and no other person is required for you to obtain self-respect?

When you value yourself, you place a high opinion on your own opinion of yourself !!! Sound's like a good thing, doesn't it?

PS ... I gave myself this same pep talk when I decided to take control of myself and lose weight !!!!

25 pounds so far <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

"Let's try" routine

I don't think that anyone here accepted that as part of their vows at the altar (except for one poster that I can recall)...and they shouldn't accept it now.

committed

Good job pep.....

Yes your right about all of that.

I am becoming stronger and I am smart.

I also know I don't need someone else to make me happy I have to do that for myself.

I am working on the self-respect issue now... And I think allowing WH to continue his cake-eating was dragging my self-respect down to very low levels. But now that I have decided not to play this game anymore my self-respect is slowing building back up. I am not going to dance this dance anymore.....

When this girl makes up her mind about something, stand back and watch. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> She is very disciplined and determined!

Good job Pep!

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />