See Kimberly, you are not alone. All of us share what you are going through.

Keith

I know what you mean about being dissapointed that WH hasn't contacted your DS. My WH called Thursday to change the agreed upon kid swap due to work. He had not seen the kids since Sunday, had not called them at all, and still didn't speak to them on the phone Thursday.

I don't know whether that is due to guilt or just head up the a$$. But it is a love buster for me, another piece of evidence that he really has become something not very attractive to me.

Let me one-up you in the kid department. Yesterday was my DD's birthday. There was absolutely no contact from her father. No call, no email, no present, nothing. I didn't even want to mention that fact to her. She didn't seem to miss him but somewhere deep inside, there must be something happening.

And WH wonders why his daughter is hostile to him.

Jean,

You are right. It is a big love-buster. I don't know if WH is being stubborn about having to go through our friends to make arrangements or what. It is just as unacceptble behavior to me as the A. I am going to start a new thread on this subject.

Kim

Hi Kim,
You are doing great getting thru a really tough time. WH just leaving, your birthday...but...it looks like you are doing the right things getting support here and in RL, planning new routines to anticipate bad times.

I have a suggestion for the grocery store thing...check out www.savingdinner.com they have sample menus but the gest of it is you subscribe for the year something like $30/yr you sign up for whatever diet you want low carb, slow cooker, veggitarian, etc...they email you a weekly menu with recipes from start to finish and a grocery list you don't even have to think at all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Saves time staring at the shelves in the store figuring out what you are in the mood. It will help you take care of yourself you need to stay healthy and eat well...thats hard with no appetite..nothing sounds good.

Hi Kim,

Now you know why in PLAN B you can't focus on WS - because you have your hands full in trying now 'function' solo when used to work as a 'team'.

Tell me about it! - empty house, doing all grocery shopping rather than share, watching TV alone, sleeping alone, the list is endless.

But as has been pointed out, decision-making is quicker as no consultation is required, and even though things need to be done, they can at least be done whenever you feel like doing them - none of the advantages of being 'solo' will compensate for the fact that we did not choose it, but it really helps when we learn to appreciate some things in spite of it all.

Hang in there Kim. I find it helps to take things one day at a time - otherwise, I get dizzy. I also find it best to 'expect' bad moments - they're not as bad when they actually happen. I try to see them as 'waves': they come, then they go.

Hi Kim,


It's funny how things are with the kids. My XH lived 2 miles away and didn't call or see either DD but a couple of times a year! Frankly, I think that one of the reasons I felt that I needed to at least try to save my M with FWH is that he ended up being Dad to my DD's. He really loves them. I figured that maybe I owed him a second chance....I'm glad now that I did even tho our recovery sure has moved slowly.