Well, my DH says no. Of course, it could have been in the way I asked: "OMG, YOU DON'T REALLY DO THAT, DO YOU?????" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Perhaps then you are meeting his SF needs <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

VMom,

Perhaps I can offer you a few other items to consider. Lemonman can confirm this as well. When men climax, a hormone is secreted to reduce the heart rate from the very high rates during sex. This hormone is like a sedative.

For men understress physical releasae reduces stress. While your response as most women is to avoid sex while stressed men often actually seek it. It can help them sleep but it just calms them down.

The famous complaint by women that "he just rolls over and goes to sleep" is part of this situation.


Your H may have been masturbating because he needed more sex and did NOT want to bother you when he KNEW you were tired or stressed. I find it ironic that this site is filled with women complaining that "all their H wants is sex
" and then we find complaints hat men masturbate.

I am sure NOT all men do this. Just as I am sure there are women on this site with higher sex drives than their H's. Both go against stereotypes. But, in most normal cases the male drive is considerably higher than the female. Studies have reported that the "normal" male thinks of sex every 10 seconds. I don't know the details of this study but as a male I can tell you it is pretty darned often as we are visually driven and our society provides enormous numbers of visual cues.

I think the issue should be discussed with your H. I think if you and he take the position that it can be beneficial to both of you IF it is NOT a substitute for intimacy between you and you make an concerted attempt to focus on intimacy a bit more, you will find your marriage enriched.

You two are obviously at a good level of intimacy in your ability to discuss this. Continue to discuss, your desires, your needs, his desires, his needs, and I believe you will arrive at a solution that will keep you both happy.

He is NOT unusual in the male of the species trust me on that.

God Bless,

JL

Uhhh...Yes we do. Loosen up, let him enjoy himself.

But how can women get upset with men doing it when the wife wants nothing to do with sex? In my case, at best we had sex 2 or 3 times a YEAR. Without the extracurricular activities, our marriage would have been over. Maybe it should have been over.

I stopped with the porn about 8 years ago, when my wife objected to it. But my imagination is much better than any porn.

I assume that men do it for the same reason women do.

1. It feels good.
2. It's quick.
3. It's not physically demanding.
4. It relieves stress.

If it's considered an EMA, would you have to cut off his hands to go NC?

Dobie