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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49 |
WW gave me the choice of me living in the house and paying all the bills or her living in the house and paying all the bills. I cant afford to live here alone. I dont want to give her a place to carry on with her A but i cant stay here and pay it all on my own. And it doesnt help that i lost my job. What do i do? How can i stop her A in this situation. Just thought id start a new thread cause i havent gotten any responses on my other thread in a long time.
Green lights and blue skies...
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719 |
Just a thought do you have anyone you could move in with. How is the job hunting going? It may wake her up when she sees how much there is to do paying for a home. Do you have kids? I would not let the kids live with OM.
married 21 Together 26 - OW 2yrs, he worked with her and found secret e-mail account.The first cut is the deepest. just found out H is a serial cheater - total cut to pieces now- saw a D lawyer today.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 271
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 271 |
Live in the house, take in a roommate(s) willing to pay rent. Do you get unemployment comp? Will rent plus unemployment plus savings cover current cash expenses?
Me = FBS age 51 FWH = age 51 M 25 years, 2 children 16 and 20 D-Day 5/19/05 Recovered and happy
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49 |
no kids...thank god, i guess. The job hunt has a few possibilities but nothing close to the two jobs i had left. Ill be living with my folks because they offered me to live there for free (even when i had a job), I dont think i could get anyone to move into the house with me to help pay the bills (especially since i have no job). Just when i had everything on track i went and made a big mistake by being unemployed...yuck. I just dont know how to fix this mess. Last night i was a wreck...and that was after 2 weeks of feeling good. I was regaining myself and self esteem and now being unemployed put a damper on that.
Green lights and blue skies...
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49 |
im really rock bottom on everything. No savings...no job... Ive gone to square one on my whole life. Its like im a senior in high school all over again.
Green lights and blue skies...
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49 |
That and i already told her she can move in here by the weekend.
Green lights and blue skies...
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49 |
i also told her today that i would like to sell the house now and not in the spring. She got a little upset. HA, now im not the weak want you back type and she didnt like seeing me take control of her decision to sell the house and divorce. I think it stole her thunder a little bit to see me want to end it quicker than she had planned. I dont really want to end it but i need to get the cash from the house so i can begin to get myself back on my feet. that and i think she really wants to be in the "comfort of her own home"...But Honey, im not about givin you comfort at this point. I want her to feel as uncomfortable as possible. Not sleepin in OUR bed with that slime bag douche. Affairs are such messy business. My family tells me to move on and give up. That makes me angry at them and i shouldnt be because thier on my side. Their just not on my side the way i need them to be.
Green lights and blue skies...
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 665
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 665 |
As Mel is fond of saying, the only thing worse than making a bad promise, is following through on that promise. You made a mistake by telling her you would move out. You would make an even bigger mistake if you indeed move out.
I know your situation is bad, but remember YOU CAN IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN. Decide what your goals are and find a way to make them happen.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49 |
so what do i do then...stay in a house i cant afford? How will that work?
Green lights and blue skies...
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49 |
Green lights and blue skies...
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 49 |
im lookin for sum help here... so anyone with sum advice is welcome to help me.
My wifes affair is full blown. Ive exposed, ive LBd, ive calmed down to the point were seeing and talkin to her doesnt upset me in the least. She always wants to drop bombs...like the big D and whose living where, but she just drops the bombs and walks...never talks it out. Ive gotten and lost two jobs in the last two weeks. Now im unemployed with bills to pay and no way to pay them.
I dont want to move out of my house but she says its either her or me here and whoever is here pays all the bills.
I told her happy anniversary today when i saw her (she was just stoppin in to pick up some stuff). She said "i know"
Told her i want to sell the house now, not in the spring, she got a little upset. I also said that we should file soon so we can get on with our lives. She didnt like that either...WTF is up with all that?
Can i get a WS translater in here to help me interpret what is goin on in her head here?
any help will be appreciated
im plan Aing the best i can with minimal contact with her...it just doesnt seem to be affecting her...but when i push to move the D along she gets upset...What does it all mean?
Green lights and blue skies...
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 270
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 270 |
She's guilty about what she's doing, but not enough to stop. I vote to force real consequences on her to see if that snaps her out of it.
And you don't move out of the house, no matter what! It's her A that is causing the trouble. Making you leave just gives her more power. The night my wife kicked me out of our house was the last night of her affair, because it turned me into a relentless ******.
BS (me) 36 FWW 32 DD 5 DS 2 D-Day & Exposure 4/3/05 D-day #2 Early June '05 In Recovery
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