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Kim, are you sure you have to be present to sign the check? wow, that is pretty stringent. I always just sign my H's name on joint checks and deposit them! If you have to be present to sign the check, then you just have to be present, I guess. I can't think of any other way around it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I will try to get away with not being there. I think one year they allowed me to just send my DL with H. Last year I had to go in with him at the bank - I guess that way he couldn't forge my name & take the cash. Maybe they do that with us b/c we don't have joint checking accounts.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Joined: Apr 2001
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ahhhh, maybe that is the deal, which makes perfect sense. Kim, how come your finances are so seperated? That is odd for a married couple.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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We lived together before we married & just started out that way.(sep. accounts) Never changed it once we got married. It has not bothered me one bit & we never fought about money. Maybe it was a good thing(especially considering the circumstances now). Or maybe it would have made us more concerned with each other's finances ---- I doubt that would have prevented an A.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Joined: Jun 2005
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One other concern - me being not generous with $$$ right now. I wonder if it is going to have an effect with him paying 1/2 the bills for the rest of the month plus 1/2 the mortgage???
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Kim, he has an obligation to pay the mortgage and half the bills. You don't have an obligation to float him $50 whenever he is short on cash. You are not his bank while he is out playing the single dude, you shouldn't fund his affair. Just as long as you are being fair, which you are, then you have met your obligation. You gave him his expense check and are planning on giving him the entire state tax refund check as planned.
If he withholds any money, then you do have recourse with a seperation agreement that will force him to pay.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You are right......Once again!!
He is most likely mad at me once again. I don't answer his notes, don't answer his calls. I wonder if the tables are turning just a little. I am guessing he has access to OW(as long as she is returning his calls ----who knows what she is doing since she got the Plan B letter. If she has is so "forgiving" like WH says, she will cut it off.) but now he doesn't have access to his wife!
Mimi said in one of her posts that 3 months for Plan B is a drop in the bucket. WOW. I hope it doesn't go that long....by then I just might be ready to move on. I guess this will really test how strong my love is for WH.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Will you promise me something? Will you please not read the next note? Put it right in the shredder. Your non-response was GREAT. He will get the message eventually as long as you don't respond. You have shown GREAT STRENGTH in this, Kim. We must make Dr. Lemon eat another crow sammich just for that! I wonder too what HB [ho-bag] thinks about all this. She will have a huge debt to pay now that she has contributed to his current state. Betcha they will soon be lovebusting each other with all the new pressures. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Reality will be a strong source of interference in la-la land.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I will TRY HARD to throw it in the trash. I guess by now I know he's not leaving me a love note! I'm not sure if it is strength that's keeping me in No Contact or just being scared silly/in a panic/don't know what to do that keeps me from picking up the phone or seeing him. I truthfully wouldn't know what to say to him at this point. Since I'm not sure what I would say, it's best to just not say anything at all!!!! Whatever it is, it's working. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> We've moved from OW to HB!!! HEE, HEE!! I hope they are Love Busting all over the place!! Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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