Seems like I can see some glimpses of my old H, in the WH
lately, but he still seems to be really struggling and it's
hard to know if the WH or the H will "win" the battle.

He has been expressing more and more that he is really
trying to figure things out and get himself together and
"says" he is going to get a counselor to help him, and
perhaps he is-- but I also think he is still lying about
his activities and likely having contact with the OW
so I don't put a lot of "stock" or hope into anything
that he says right now.

Too many things- like my not being able to reach him, him
rarely wanting to do anything together, unaccounted for time, and the times/location on some of the receipts he gives me being suspicious make me feel like he is having at least some contact. For his part, wouldn't surprise me if
his incentive is a "bootie call" (sounded like that was mostly his interest in her) and for her, she probably hates
to lose her "sugar daddy". (she never said anything about
caring about WH, just seemed interested in him because she
thought he made a lot of money). They were already arguing
and fighting a lot before she called me and they had the
big "blow up", so A was deteriorating even without me being
involved. I'm sure that her now knowing that I love WH and
am fighting for the M, plus her knowing WH has lied about
numerous things in their relationship are going to cause
more problems and LB's, and they no longer are within the
protective "fantasy" bubble of the A. I also think that
the upcoming holidays are putting some pressure on the A
and on WH.

Last night WH surprised me (or maybe it was H). I was home
from work, and getting ready for an evening event. I heard
the garage door opening, so went down and opened the door.
WH was standing there, startled, and had a card and candy
in his hand (halloween). Said he thought I would be gone to
my rehearsal (I sing in a group) and was going to leave the
card/candy in the garage for me, and then leave me a message to tell me it was there (said he had forgotten his
house key). He didn't want to stay, didn't want his mail
or things at our house (said he'd come another time for
that) but left right away, saying he was meeting friends to
watch Mon night football. I just said thanks for the treat.

Seems like WH calls when not necessary, comes over when
he doesn't have to, wants to do things sometimes, gives me
flowers for my birthday, and now a "halloween treat".
I feel like he wants to keep some connection, which I guess
is good, but I also guess this is "fence sitting'.
With the complications of his depression and OCD, I've not
really followed the Plan A/Plan B but maybe this is a case
where the PLAN B would still help knock him off the fence.
Slammed

WH- 38
BS- (me) 42
Together 10 years, married 7, no kids
(H has two daughters from previous R- age 13,10)
2000- H diagnosed with depression/OCD
2001- H has inappropriate internet "fling" (1 mos) followed by EA with older, recently widowed woman (lasted approx 5 months). Seperated for 1 mos.
2002-2004 Things going better, making "recovery" until late
2004, when H begins suspicious internet behavior.
2005- Suspect H has become addicted to internet (long hours
at office when not necessary), not as interested and involved in M, not interested in SF.
Aug 2005- H moves out of house to unknown location
10/18/05- OW calls revealing WH has been living with her,
PA has been going on 3 mos. Huge exposure of WH's lies,
duplicity. WH and OW supposedly break up. WH moved out of
OW's house and into small rental alone (verified).

He's getting his fix of you and making sure you are still there waiting for him. He's also thinking that these little crumbs (and they are pretty crummy crumbs) keep you hoping and on the shelf while he 'decides' what direction his life will take.

You need to cut him off, call it Plan B if it makes you feel better, and let him see the consequences of his actions. You need time to get yourself together and really, really consider if you want to deal with this sort of personality the rest of your life.

Thanks Mojodiva (cool name !)
It does seem like WH is wanting to keep his "connection"
with me while "deciding", but is doing nothing constructive
to get those decisions made. Says he will get a counselor
but hasn't been in a big rush to do it, and I'm not holding
my breath for it either.

It's been very difficult to know what to do- first years
and "recovery" years of our M were happy, fun, and loving,
and if that H is still in there somewhere and can come back
I'd want to stay. The tough part is that I have no way of
knowing if the current WH is who he will be from now on,
or if mental/emotional issues have permanently changed him.
If so, it's very sad- a loss of a person with some great
qualities, possibilities and potential.

No contact today, and I'll just be heading home to walk
the dog, make some dinner, and get a soak in the tub.
Been trying to get to bed earlier too, helps with stress.
Slammed

slammed,
Hope everything is going well.....

The drama...arrrhhh...I wish it was all over already ....

Anyway, I understand what you are saying in your post...you are detached enough to know that this cannot go on for years, yet you are willing to wait still some time....not rushing to a D.

I feel the same way....I get so tired of it sometimes that I just want to end it all<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />....but then I keep myself grounded by reminding myself that it has not been that long...H left in May but we had those crazy 3 months, so only in the last 3 months is he able to focus on himself and see what he wants....amd I can do the same....

I am not rushing into a D, yet I realize that we cannot live the way we are for years....my friend says that sooner or later we will have to talk about 'us'....I don't know, I am not ready right now....

At this point we live seperate lives <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />...we do see each other...he calls me and we end up watching movies together....there is no S now and really hardly any touching. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />..

Monday night we watched a movie and I was passing out candy so it was an all together nice day...I had fun alone and then H came later....we had a nice time ...then he set on the couch and it was really late so I asked him if he wanted to stay over, but he had to go home to take his meds....

Then yesterday he came over (had his bag with him - I wonder if he wanted to stay) we talked briefly just general stuff, it went well for about 5 minutes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />, but then he asked me how my work was going, but his demeaner was like the whole thing regarding my work was somehow amuzing to him...I asked him what the smile is all about...he said nothing, back paddeling!...but I said well I am asking because last week you also make a comment about my work and now you are making another and I want to know if there is something more to it.....he was tryingt to assure me that he ment nothing by it....I said ok...and moved on....but he did not! Just kept kind of sulking away, but I enjoyed myself...

Then after the movie ended I said I was going to bed and touched his arm...he then gave me a hug and left...I did not ask him to stay...it was not a right time and maybe he did not feel welcomed <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />....

Anyway,...I try not to get all mixed up....I still love him but I really thought his remarks to my work were immature... I am glad I at least expressed that I perceived there was more to it...I did not want to argue about it, just wanted to let him know.....he can do what he wants with it....

I hope your day is going well <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />....I get so tired of it all sometimes...but then I wonder why I still let him come over...I think I just get my 'fix' because when I don't see him for days I really do experiance withdrawl <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />, it hurts to know he is out there and does whatever and I am not remotly part of that.....dam....

Daisy

Daisy-
I totally agree and get really sick of all the drama as well ! I try not to let myself get too up or down with
things my WH says or does, knowing how frequently he changes, but it's hard to keep a steady mood going at
times.

WH called me Sun. and asked me to come over to see his new
"place", then took me to see the progress on the "fixer-
upper" house he is renovating. Afterwards, went to lunch
and overall it was a nice time. He was going to come by
our house later though, and never showed up or called-
Monday, we talked during the day and he reassured me he is
trying to work on "things", wanted to take things "one day
at a time", and he later brought me a cute halloween card
and candy treat.
Yesterday, however, he was defensive and grouchy when we
talked. In our conversation, he basically confirmed that he is still involved with OW. He said they are "talking, and deciding what they should do". I asked why he had been telling me that they were broken up, and he said they were
broken up when he told me that, but had started talking again. (all this change within 2 days.) Although I already suspected this, it still hurt to hear he is apparently trying to work on that relationship but won't work on his marriage !
It's also really hard to understand why he'd want to get
back with OW. Sounded like they were always fighting and
fussing, she called me to expose him and get info on him,
she called his former GF to question her and let her and
his daughter know about the A, and admitted she would get
into his cell phone to listen to his messages and delete
calls. I didn't want to get into a big session of "bad-
mouthing" the OW, but did say I didn't understand why he'd
want to be with a "dishonest person like that". He then
said he didn't trust either she or I much. (I guess I got
thrown into that comment because he's still mad about the
exposure of his lies to OW ). I found that really insulting
to be in the same comparison with the OW- yuck !
I also did let him know that she had called our house
twice last week, so is apparently still out to check on him
and/or get more info or ammo from me (won't happen as I
am not going to talk to her again). I am glad he is still
at his own place, but if they "heat back up" again, wouldn't
be surprised if he moves back to her house.

I don't think their "relationship" stands much of a chance
as they were already fighting and having problems before the
"exposure", it's been short, so neither of them has much
"invested", and now after the exposure, they both have issues to wonder about, distrust of each other, and the
"fantasy bubble" has been burst !
This may put an end to this situation, but of course, still
doesn't mean WH will decide to work on the M or reconcile,
so I am really trying not to count on anything.
I just really wish/hope he is going to start counseling.
He asked for the list of people he could go to, and says
he is going to go to therapy, but who knows if he will
actually do it.

Does your H go to counseling of any type ? What meds if he
on ?

Today WH called to tell me about a bill he paid from our
joint account, and he said he just needed "time to work
things out" and be "left alone" and that's certainly what
I'm going to do- in fact, I'm going to go darker and just
give their relationship a chance to explode. I have thought
about doing an actual Plan B letter and full Plan B too,
just didn't know if it would help things in our case.
(and I know exactly what you mean about needing a little
"fix" and also feeling the withdrawal).

My IC suggested I might be thinking of a time frame, not
carved in stone, but just in my head, of how long I want to
let WH "think about things", and keep us in limbo, and I
am thinking on that. The hard part is not knowing if H
might be back to "normal" and able to function in a M,
or if he will never be that way again and knowing when to
"cut my losses". The thought of being alone is not scary
in itself to me, but my financial situation would be really
tough, and that is scary.

Sounds like you handled the conversation with your H well,
and is good that you "called him" on his comments. Sounds
like he might be envious of you and your job situation
when he is not doing much with himself !?

Hang in there and have a good day.
Slammed

Hi Slammed,

Boy, sometimes I wish you could do a really good plan B. But I understand what people say about it not necessarily working in your case. It would give YOU peace, anyway, while you are in it. It can be nice to be taken out of the chaos.

I can't recall - have you ever called the Harleys regarding your situation? I'd be curious to see what they recommend.

I sincerely hope that your H does decide to go to counseling. I'll be praying for that.

Wow...this post SCREAMS cake-eater!

I don't claim to be one of the experts around here, so you might wanna wait and get their opinions...but...here's my thought.

It sounds to me like his 'wanting a little time' is an excellent lead into a DARK plan B. We're talking dark here...not your normally cloudy nite dark. I'm thinking dark like the bottom of Carlsbad Caverns during the complete lunar eclipse on the eve of a new moon during winter solstice (longest nite of the year) dark.

His R with OW is on the rocks, not likely to improve there...he keeps coming back for his fix of you whenever he likes...I say give him his space...out the wazoo!

Tell him sure, go for it...and here's what you need to do at the end of your 'space'...hand him a plan B letter and head for the hills. AND STICK TO IT LIKE GLUE! (make sure that your plan B letter spells out EXACTLY what your expectations for reconciliation are...NC, MC, whatever)

Odds are this is going to take him totally off gaurd, and that combined with a rocky R with OW, he's going to really get a dose of reality.

Thanks SVB and Owl-
Have been thinking that a dark Plan B might help get WH
off the fence, just didn't know if it would work since our
situation is a little different and many here have advised
the MB principles won't apply.
WH has often followed the same script as many of the other
WS however, so thought it might be worth a try- and as you
said, takes me out of the drama. (Haven't done a "real"
Plan B, but have rarely been contact or initiating anything
with WH since the A began, and have been trying to concentrate on doing my own thing, which has helped with
easing my stress and taing me out of the drama).

Only thing I have to think about if I do a dark "B" is how to handle the NC, as we do discuss financial issues (he deposits money in our joint account for our bills and expenses, and I write the checks). He also comes to the house about once a week to get his mail, drop off receipts/ bills, visit the dog, get other clothes, etc. (all his belongings are still at our house except some of his clothes and toiletries). Would appreciate ideas on this -

I haven't talked to the Harleys, mostly due to the expense,
but would really love to hear what they think and would
advise in my situation. My IC does help me, especially just
to be able to vent, and her input on what she thinks about
WH's mental/emotional problemls has been interesting too.
I really hope and am praying WH does get started with his
own IC- and thanks for your prayers too SVB !

Owl- loved your graphic description of the real DARK Plan
B <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. I hope you are right that the A with OW is pretty
rocky and I think Wh would be very surprised to not have
me there as his "back up" plan.

Do you (and others) agree that I should have no further
contact with the OW and just hope that the possible
reconciliation of the A blows up on it's own !?
Slammed

I think you have to do a full Plan B that is dark. I tried the semi-Plan B--WH hadn't fully moved out and we talked alot still etc. If he needed something he just came over to get it etc. We had to false recoveries and I don't feel that he has ever hit rock bottom like a true Plan B helps them do.

Every situation is different but I still think a good dark PB is in store. I kick myself for not making him fully move out before--now we are getting a D and I'm making him move out now!

It is already starting to bother him which surprises me because he is the one who wants the D.

THinking of you--stay strong.

Thanks, Albany. Do you think a full Plan B might still
help your situation ? In my state you can "halt" a D
anytime during the 90 days mandatory waiting period, just have to file a form.

WH moved out at the end of August and moved in with OW
(who just moved here from out of state) although I didn't
know where he was staying until the OW called and the whole
thing came out about two weeks ago. A couple of days later
they "broke up" and WH moved into a place by himself.
He says he intends to stay there until the "fixer upper"
house he is renovating is ready (I think it will be ready
in 30-45 days)and then I assume he will really move out
of our house and take all his things.
Of course, if he is back with OW, he may decide to move
back into her house again- who knows ??!

Would be easier to do the truly dark Plan B if he was totally out of our house and had no reason for contact, but
don't want to sit in limbo for another 30-45 days.
I think the upcoming holidays also complicate things a bit-
I was very surprised when IC told me she thought WH would
very likely plan to spend holidays with me, and I hadn't
even thought of that- was already thinking I probably
would have very low-key holidays with just my parents.

Going to a work related trade show after work, so at least
don't have to worry about hearing from WH tonight !
Thanks,
Slammed

I think a D will be a Plan B for my WH but I'm not sure if will actually bring him around or not. IF it does then we will deal with it at that point in time.

Personally I think that it will take longer for him then the 90 days.

Hi Slammed,

I am sorry for all the unnecessary drama you have to go through!

Your H's saying "I don't want to hurt you", "this is hard for me as well", etc. are all exactly the same words my H has said to me! I am not necessarily doubting that he never felt this way, but they are all sugar coated defensive tools. Our Hs want to feel like they are good people. But they do not realize that what they are doing (regardless of what they might be thinking) is wrong and very selfish. If they truly feel that they do not like to hurt us, all they have to do is simply to stop their behaviors!

If your H agrees to go see a marriage counselor, that would be really great. It will take time and you may have to change counselors a few times before you meet the right one for you, but if he agrees to see one, that is a very positive step. Be cautious, maintain zero expectations, but keep praying that he would at least start working on your M!

Hugs,
Milk

Good to hear from you Milk, are you still on vacation ?
If so, I hope you are having a great time !
(boy, do I wish I was somewhere !!)

I think the WH's must feel some guilt, and actual remorse
over the way they are treating us, but as you said- if they
really cared and didn't want to do it, they could just stop
doing it !

I didn't hear from Wh last night, or as of yet today either,
which convinces me that he and OW have gotten back together.
Really makes me mad and hurt that he said he and OW were
talking and "deciding what to do" (I guess he meant as far
as getting back together or not) but that he wouldn't make
that much effort to work on his own M !
I doubt I will hear anything this weekend either, which
will really confirm that he's back with OW. If they are
fully back together, won't suprise me if he moves back to
her house too. Maybe in a way, that would be good, because
it might accelerate the demise of the A, but who knows ?

Doesn't seem like their A has a lot of potential, since they
were already apparently fight alot and OW suspicious of WH.
Just hard to understand how WH would even want to be with
a person like OW- she sounds very agressive, "in your face"
and "ballsy", called me to get info on WH and tell me a lot
of lies, called WH's X to question her and told her about the A (as a result my 13 yr old stepdaughter now knows about
it), and got into his cell phone to listen/delete calls.
Yet- he wants to get back with her !!?? Definitely a foggy
addiction and not clear thinking ! Whether he will come out
of it and want to "work his way" back home or not, of course, will remain to be seen~

I am hoping and praying he will get started with a counselor and stick with it. What he really seems to need
too, is a good psych evaluation to determine what issues
he really has and what medication he needs to be on, if any.

I am trying to keep up my guard, and may go to a full-out
Plan B soon- along with PLAN Z (zero expectations) !
Hope your weekend is good !
Slammed






Today I am feeling very angry- about the whole situation
and also towards the OW in particular. I keep thinking of
things I wish I had said/or said differently when we talked,
and feel really mad about the little "innocent" act that
she tried to put over on me.

Hi Slammed,

I can't believe you are saying that...

That is exactly what you WH wants you to do. He wants you to keep your mouth shut so it doesn't interfere with his
affair.

If OW called, I would tell her what a nice time you had visiting his home and having lunch on Sunday. Then plan B.

Lady

Lady-
After the hurtful lies the OW told me, the realization
that she was using me to get info on not only WH, but also
on me and on our M, and after being advised by several here
not to talk to OW again, I didn't take her calls last week.
(she just called two times on one evening).

This was a situation where I debated it-
On one hand, I thought maybe talking to her and letting her
know that WH had been in contact with me would be good,
possibly making her mad and busting up the A from her end,
but I was also really leery of giving her a chance to tell
me more lies or to get any more info on WH or me.
I also thought it might backfire since she would likely
confront WH and then he'd be mad at me for talking to her
and be defensive of HER.
I also thought that her not reaching me might have her in the position of wondering if WH was out with ME-?

I wasn't going to even tell WH that she had called- as I
didn't want to get into a "he said, she said" type situation
or involved in a triangle, but when talking about my not
understanding why he'd go back with someone like that, I
mentioned her calling with the hopes it might make him mad
that she was checking up on him !

The more I think about it, I don't know if I helped or hurt
the situation. I really feel like I said too much when OW
first called, and inadvertently gave her ammo she could use
towards WH, me, and our M. Also, even though she called me,
my WH was extremely angry with me about talking to her and
felt I was being vindicative and betraying him by giving out
info that should have been "private" between he and I.
I realize part of this anger is a normal WS reaction at
being exposed in his lies, but I also felt like I did go
overboard in talking to her and may have done some damage
to my chances by what WH considered huge LB's.

I did not tell Wh that I wouldn't talk to OW, and he knows
that I now have her name and number and she has mine, so
he may be living in fear of further contact between us-
don't know. So hard to have any idea of what/how WH thinks
or what is going to help/hurt.
If she does know/find out that WH and I had contact and did
some things together, I'm sure he'll just explain it and
she'll accept it as being "okay" because they were broken up
at the time, so I don't know if her finding it out now would do any good ?

Today I've also been wondering if I blew a chance to get
closer to WH during the brief "break up" of he and Ow ?
Two weeks ago he moved out of her house and into his own
place and he began to talk and have more contact with me
until this past weekend, when I believe they began to talk
again and have now probably hooked back up. During the
"gap" of their breakup I was trying to be there for him ,
asked about doing some things together, and did do a few
things with him, but I didn't "push", try to talk alot about
our R, or initiate a lot, and now I wonder if I didn't do
enough ? It's SO hard to know what to do !!

Do you think there is something I should do now as far as
OW or just leave them be with the hope the A will end on
it's own due to the problems they were already having and
the distrust on both sides now after exposure ?
Going to the full Plan B is still very much on my mind too.
Slammed

Slammed,

I know it's so hard to know what to do because your WH doesn't know what he is doing from day to day, everything is so uncertain for you.

I think it is wise to expose again, whether she calls you or you call her. Keep it a brief conversation, to the point and thats it.

You may have to plan B after that. Get out of the way and let him do his thinking. It will not get better for him with her, "if" he is with her.

I think it is the best shot you have. He needs to know you cannot stay on the merry-go-round any longer. What is his choice? And pray alot.

Lady

Thanks Lady,
My anger earlier today has given way to feeling so much
doubt this afternoon- wondering if I have handled things
as best as I can, wondering if I blew a chance to get WH
back my way while they were "broken up", wondering if I'm
"playing" right into OW's hands, or if anything I do makes
any difference either way anyhow !
Guess I'm just getting tired and my mood is changing (again)
which my IC has said is very normal.

I think if I do talk to OW again I'd just like to say-
"OW, you know from our previous conversation that I love my
H very much and am doing everything I can to restore our M".

Not sure what you meant "It will not get better for him
with her, "if" he is with her " ???

I am seriously thinking of going to a full Plan B. I think
WS is definitely fence-sitting and it's going to take some
real effort to get him off.

I am praying alot and appreciate all the prayers and support of friends here.
Have a good weekend-
Slammed

I don't see how you could have done anything more than you did. You were kind, you expressed an interest in doing things with him. When he wanted to show you his apartment and the house renovations, you went, and made nice comments.He said he would call you to do something more with you that day, and you were available, but he didn't call. I know you weren't sitting around waiting, but at least you were available.
Honey, I just don't see how you could have done anything more.
You suspect that he is back with the OW. But how can you tell? Just because he isn't calling? He has openly put hiself onto an internet dating web site. isn't it possbile that he has found another OW?

I find myself drawn to your post, and my heart breaks for you. I am so worried that he is out there spending even more money, racking up debt while married to you, that you might be responsible for later. He could end up ruining your credit.

I agree with your IC that he will likely want to spend the holidays with you, because his R with OW is not stable, and he would be lonely during the holidays. But Slammed - you don't have to settle for his crumbs! You get to make your own choice with your life.

I fear that you are bcoming a door mat.

Slammed!
Hey, stop questioning yourself! You are being so reasonable and frankly nice to your WH that if he was able to see it he would thank his lucky stars he has you in his life!

You have to accept that at this point him coming back to work on the marriage is OUT OF YOUR HANDS! Please remember that....nothing you can do now...you are there showing him you care what more can you do? Ask him to work on it? He will just push you away again... We all question ourselves, but slammed we do need someone from the outside to point out to us something obvious at times that we cannot see...so let me tell you as wof did, there is nothing you could have done during that time he was not 'talking/seeing' OW. Seriously, slammed, you know that rebuilding trust and the R will take months and months! not a 'brief' moment...Your WH is not out of the 'fog'...it is out of your hands...

I have basically accepted that all I can do now, is work on myself....
It is up to my H to come to me and try to work on the M...I cannot do that anymore...everytime I did, he threw the 'I don't want to get back together' at me...so now, it is up to him to come to me if he wants that....and in the mean time I move forward and work on me...

Best,
Daisy

WOF5-
Thank you for your support and thoughts. I am feeling better
about things today (as much as possible anyway) and guess
the self-doubting and questioning yesterday were just a
result of feeling tired and getting into a down mood.

I know that all any of us can do is just try our best, and
I can securely know that I have indeed done that, all along.
Whether something I did or didn't do, or would have done
differently any time had any bearing on the situation or
would have changed things, no way to know.

Although I viewed it as a positive thing, I did not assume
that the "break up" of WH and OW would automatically lead
WH to want to reconcile, and I guess I was not terribly
surprised when he said they were still "talking", and then
that "they were deciding what they should do".
I don't know 100 percent, but it sure does appear that he
is back with OW- just seems very likely since they were
talking last weekend, then he suddenly isn't wanting to
do anything, doesn't show up when expected, and isn't calling as much. I have called the place he's staying in
the early morning and late at night for the past three days
and he isn't there, so it appears he is back up at her house
overnight. Also, she hasn't called me again since last week
so it makes me feel like he is there with her and so she doesn't feel the need to "check on him".
It is disappointing and frustrating though, to know that WH
would even consider getting back with such a person and
makes it very obvious that he views her through a thick
fog and addiction, as with all the WS.
It's also disappointing, hurtful, and makes me angry that
the OW is not at all like she portrayed herself to be- "the
innocent victim" who didn't know WH was married, lied about
things, etc., because now she DOES know those things, and
it isn't keeping her from pursuing a relationship with him.
I think WH's money is the big "attraction" to her, and the
sex life he had with OW is her "attraction" to him, IMO.

WH is likely spending a lot of money, although the laywer
I spoke with awhile back did tell me that charges he is
putting on his business credit card, and even those on his
own card (we have no joint credit cards) would not likely
ever come back on me. I do have to give him "credit" in that
he has been very good about making sure I have the money for
all the bills and household expenses, as well as some money
for my spending, gas, groceries and prescriptions, and for
supplies needed for the dog. I assume he may do this to
help alleviate his guilt over everything else, but at least
I don't have to have a hassle about it.

In a way, I wonder if the upcoming holidays are putting some
"pressure" on WH, both in his A with OW and him "deciding"
what to do with our M. As OW only recently moved here and
probably doesn't know very many people, I don't know if she
would be going away for holidays (and possibly expecting WH
to go with her), or if she'd go alone and he'd be here.
If she intends to stay here and he wants to spend time with
me, that's sure to cause a conflict-

Daisy- Thanks for the reminder that there's little I can
do, other than try my best and pray ! I know you are in
the same "boat" too- where you have to just do your own
thing and worry about yourself, and don't know what, if
anything, will bring about a change with H.
I am trying to do the same-

Wishing you both a good weekend !
Slammed