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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Well, he is hoping it won't even get to threatening to do it. If it go to the point of threatening, I really don't think it would go past that.


Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou

Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Posts: 365
I think I might have heard from OM from the last time, and what he had to say was rather amusing. It was actually in an IM (I wasn't at the computer though). I immediately called my H about it and offered to e-mail him the "conversation."

"well i guess since you haven't responded to anything, phone calls or here online i'm pretty much set on that you don't want anything to do with me anymore, especially the 2 emails that i got, so i'll be the mature one and say goodbye.
thought that you could handle a serious relationship but obviously i was wrong, bye alyson"

H and I actually found what he had to say quite amusing. He is the mature one? H said he almost wanted to call him just to tell OM how stupid he was.


Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou

Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 460
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 460
cinny-
First let me say congrats to you for working to save your marriage. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> God bless you and your family.
I hope my WW will some day progress to where you are at. My WW is a receptionist. I have thought about what if we ever get to the NC stage of recovery, what would we do.
Here are some idea's I had:
1) How about you and your husband writing an additional letter to OM stating what will happen if you does not stop harrassing you. At least this is not talking to him by you or your husband which is a bad idea. Husband confronting OM will probably just exciet him and or possible get your husband in trouble with the police. In my case OM has set me up with the police by making a false claims. I'm sure your husband wants to be your knight in shining armour and you probably would like him to as well. But, I caution you to look out for traps. Take precautions to stay out of trouble. I would write another letter with your husband stating you will call the police if he does not stop. They will investigate your claim and if OM is doing this from his work, your threat may be enough. If not, the first time the PD shows up to visit with him he should get the picture.
Telling your manager at work is probably a first step ahead of actually calling for the police. Yes, you possibly feel embarrassed by this idea, but you want them on your side. Telling them yourself should first I think is best. You don't want to be questioned about excessive phone calls or even OM pulling a below the belt move and calling others you work with.
Again it sounds like you made the right choice. OM obviously does not respect you or your family... I'm so glad you can see that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Posts: 365
Dazed...

I really don't think we would need to get the PD involved. FOM is in the Marines and if his calling got out of hand, going to his commanding officer would be far more effective.

I am very hesitant about telling my principal about any of this. Schools (especially elementary ones that have an almost all-female staff) are one of the worst places for gossips. Even the most top-secret of things somehow manage to get overheard and spread like wildfire.

Like I said in my last post, I think I might have heard the last of OM, so I guess we will just wait and see if any other action is needed.

Thanks for your comments ... particularly the first one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou

Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
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Posts: 2,715
I would suggest you have a 'form letter' available for any further contact from OM.

And tell him exactly what you and your H worked out...

"OM,
Just wanted to let you know that I have already asked you to never contact me again, and I meant what I said. If you attempt to contact me in any way again, I'm going to file a restraining order against you, and I will also speak with your CO and inform him of your actions, and request his assistance in this matter. I have copied my H on this response, and want to ensure that you clearly understand how serious I am in having no further contact with you."

And clearly copy your husband on this...

Good job so far friend! It sounds like you've got the right idea for sure!

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