You will know him by the smell of crow sammiches in the air..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Me too(amazed that he thought he could). Sara even questioned him on that one. She said that if she were in my shoes she would read into it as "Oh, WH is doing something sweet for me. He is thinking of me & being thoughtful. I might have a chance." I told her that I wasn't thinking that at all. I told her that I was reading into as 1) A chance for him to get a house fix & feel like he was part of the home 2) A chance for him to save some $$ by not having to take DS out 3) the food on the stove waiting for me would be an afterthought.

Anyway, she questioned WH about that and was cooking dinner a sweet gesture. B/c if it wasn't he shouldn't do it. He told her that he didn't want to be the "bad guy". That he wanted to be "nice." She said you have a funny way of being nice.




Lem - I don't know where that guy is. I don't think he posts here anymore. Funny. He has just kind of disappeared. Hmmm. I hear he ate too much crow. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Kim

WAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAAA!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Dr. Lemon, even though you can be a complete pain in the butt sometimes, I am glad to know you. You are a grown up, a real man. You would rather be wrong than see Kim fail and have happily eaten lots of crow just for the pleasure of seeing her succeed. You are a good person and I am glad to know you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Kim:

The disrespect that you and Ms Lane have shown me with your recent responses has made me finally decide to leave the board. I don't profess to know alot about life, but all I ever wanted was for you to have some self dignity and pride and not let your WH trample you. I may have been wrong about some things, but all of the constant references to "crow" has been getting to me.

This is my last post ever on Marriage Builders.

Goodbye to all of you.

Lemonman


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />I couldn't even keep a straight face doing this for 25 seconds.

awwwwww, take a midol, ya big baby!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

sheeeesh, ya didn't even do it right, LM!! You are supposed to start up a designated 'goodbyecruelworld' thread to get the proper effect. I am ashamed to say I have at least one around here! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Lane:

YOu try to eat 10 cramwiches with a colon that has only been processing egg white omelets, chicken breast with steamed broccoli, Salmon cooked with some salad greens....the colon was "pristine"....and now...uhh, lets just say it ISN'T...now.

OK, that may have been a little out of line.

Anyways KIm, your my girl...your stregth that you have shown these past weeks is a very very attractive feature to you. This will NOT be lost on your Wayward. It is not lost at all

Keep up the great work.

LEM

You guys are a hoot! Always good to lighten things up a bit!!!

Thanks!!!!!!!!! You have me smiling!!

Kim

LOL...........I wont do that.......but seriously, when my time comes, it will be a sneak out the back door in the dead of night...no warnings, no good byes, no "hope you stay Lemon"....nope none of that.....it will just happen. Not any time soon though, we got to get Kim thru to a strong personal recovery that will also hopefully involve here husband.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

bwahahahaaaaa!

I'm grinning some more. I am honored to make ML & LM proud of me!!

Kim

sheeesh, what a waste of a good drama opportunity. A chick would never pass that up!

Lem - You ain't going nowhere!!

Kim

Lemonman..... stand still while I whop you one upside your big head. Wait, don't move until I can get on this step stool to make sure I hit your noggin' just right.

Do you know that my heart skipped a beat and I gasped for air when I read the 1st part of your post? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Now u r in the medical profession and at my age, you know what that can mean! YIKES! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Ok, I am back down....breathing normal and will get back to my normal MB posting.

Kim,
Sorry for the threadjack. Just gotta tell these boys when they step out of line. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

U sound like u r doing good. Proud of you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.

Thaks Orchid! Peachy has nothing but wonderful things to say about you BTW.

Kim

Kim,

to respond to your earlier question. No we do not stay because of low self esteem. I stay because he has showed me how good he can me and because I love him and know, outside of the fog, he loves me.

Hi Kim,

Same as TryingTo - thoughts on your question earlier.

I don't think one can do PLAN B with a low self esteem, otherwise as a BS we would be willing to settle for 'anything' WS is willing to give!

In my case, I still love my H, but with PLAN B, I am not saying I no longer do, I am rather saying you have crossed the line - I will not allow you to continue being part of my life and have you continue hurting me (with WH choices).

PLAN B is hard - missing H and knowing WH wants to talk and see me, as a BS I am tempted to settle for WS since H is nowhere to be seen and knowing that WS has potential of being H again - only thing, it can be someday or never.

However, the reality is that even with PLAN B a WH's actions have a great impact on BS life (particularly, financially and with arrangement of children) and since his Taker is out of control, a WH can continue to do a lot of damage. That's where additional legal protection is needed - just ask Hurting! - particularly because a WH does not take PLAN B too well.

I find that as a BS, in PLAN B, without any legal protection in place, I do feel vulnerable having 'financial ties' and 'kids' with a WH - very stressful to say the least. I am carefully monitoring this and like many, legal intervention may eventually be needed, or maybe by then, it may actually just be D proceedings.

I see PLAN B as a 'transitional phase' either for reconciliation or D. As a BS having been hit hard by A, needing to be at a place of stength is a must for either one.

Keep up the good work, Kim.

Trying & Lunamare - thanks for your posts. You are right. Plan B is not for those with low self-esteem. I am not settling for his crumbs or being a part of a triangle.

I really do feel like I could do Plan B for quite some time. I almost am beginning to question if I have feelings for my H still. Why is it not bothering me that I am not wanting to call him all the time?? Why am I doing ok without him?? It feels really weird.

I do want the M to work. Maybe it's just that I know who he is right now. A WH. I want no part of him while he is that WH who hurt me so deeply. So I guess that makes it easy for me to get along without him.....

WH again called this AM and left a message on my voice mail. It was about the same stuff. Please be sure to have DS call him in the morning IF I am not running late so they can talk before he gets on the bus. And have I thought any more about the refinancing of the house.

YES I will have DS call you if we are not running late. I have told him that before. And most mornings, unfortunately we are running late. Let him try getting ready for work, get lunch packed, feed DS breakfast, get him to brush his teeth, go potty, get dressed etc. every morning before the bus arrives. See how easy it is.

NO I can't even think about refinancing the house with a WH right now. Go & figure something else out to take care of your CC bills. I know I am.

I am promising myself today not to listen to his VM. (Hurting, you and I are in on this one together, o.k.?) I am going to talk to Sara & ask her to remind WH about my boundaries.

I also talked with an Attorney's office today. Spoke with the Paralegal for 1/2 hour. Why do they not like to do LS?? She said that some other firms will take your money for a LS, but it costs just as much as a D. I told her my reasons for wanting just a LS. She took a lot of my history & had to throw in some advice here & there of what I should do with WH.

Here's what I found out:
1) If WH doesn't give me any money for 30 days, I can have him arrested for abandonment. He is legally obligated to pay bills.
2) Child Support would be at least 20% of his annual salary
3) I would be o.k. to get a 2nd mortgage in my name if I wanted, just couldn't do any of that kind of stuff after the D was filed.

I didn't get to ask her one of my main questions which was can I legally lock him out of the house & make him continue paying bills(without filing a LS). That is really one question I want to know the answer to from a legal standpoint.

These guys really don't like to do LS. The attorney is going to call me tomorrow.

Lastly, I have been messing up & "using" WH as a babysitter per se. I had the MB's dinner Sunday night & then tonight I had something else. So he helped himself to the house again & made DS Pizza. No more using WH as babysitter. So no excuses when I am out later for WH & DS to be here.

Kim

OH. Sara mentioned to WH that I was not comfortable with him being in the house. That I didn't want him in the house at all.

His reply: "Then I will stop paying the mortgage if I can't be in the house at all."

Kim