fear can be motivating

choose to act on the fear that motivates the HEALTHY part of you to move forward in POSITIVE LIFE AFFIRMING ways

I thought about my fears a lot starting at about one year after DDay. Before then I was pretty much on autopilot. I followed all the plans. I listened to torrents of conflicting advice on what to do and what not to do to save my marriage. I was a model of make a decision and follow through.

No paralysis for me. I suppressed my fears and I acted.

That’s what I thought, anyway. After things seemed a little better, after I stopped running around doing anything and everything to save something, I paused and took my first deep breath.

I suddenly wondered why I bothered.

I did not examine my fears until they were in the rear view mirror. I noticed that things are indeed closer than they appear. My fears had not paralyzed me, they did just the opposite. They drove me to do and try anything to save my marriage.

In the rearview mirror these fears are fuzzy and indistinct. There are more than one back there and some are more important than others. And some fears I expected to see were not in view at all.

Because they are still in front of me.

It has taken almost another year for me to identify some of these different fears, the ones behind me and the ones still in front of me. And I think I might now know the biggest fear I have yet to overtake.

The fear that I might in fact be unlovable. The fear that I will never be loved by anyone. The fear that even though there might not be anything intrinsically wrong with me, no one is ever going to truly love me. After all, if I could be loved why did FWW not?

I have loved deeply. I have sacrificed greatly for love. More than once. Yet no one has loved me back.

The fear that love has passed me by after all.

Ah, well. I don’t think I am alone. Requited love is probably very rare anyway.

With prayers,

pep, choosing to act AGAINST what fear would make you do can be very motivating too !

I think, looking back, that my BIGGEST fear during recovery was ---> I feared I might become apathetic and anti-recovery.

I feared that I could ever become me again.

What's the old expression, feel the fear and do it anyway?

And a brave warrior is not the one that feels no fear, the brave warrior is hte one that in spite of his fear keeps fighting...

"Coach Carter" Quote:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our dark that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsiously give other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
- Timo Cruz played by actor Rick Gonzalez