The whole reason for sending it was that I talked to her about all of this stuff on Friday and she pretty much acted like I had never mentioned anything.

I guess, I have been described by more than one of the people involved as not clear as to my position and I want it to be clear. I am sick of the headache.

Take care and God bless!
K

Still, As Karona said, the initial question was answered long ago. Now we're just chatting and continuing to update, you're not hi-jacking anything.

I think choosing to trust your BF is a good thing, but he also needs to trust you to be able to sort out the truth without eliminating people from your lives. Sounds like he, too, has trust issues like the rest of us.

Being married to an alcoholic, as I was (am), too, is a real rollercoaster ride - like one of the new ones that spins you around and upside down, never knowing which way is up! Kind of hard to adjust to "normal" after that!

Karona, No more updates. One every week or two is a lot after 4+ years of getting no where!

I understand your position Still.
I say if it helps you, then by all means send it.

I remembered you told us what you had told her. If she is that dense, then maybe this is what she needs to read.

I guess I was thinking it's none of her business. But, maybe she should read that you are standing your ground, and not gonna listen to BS.

LetsTry,

I can't imagine the ride you have been on. That's amazing that you can say this is more than you have known in the past 4 yrs. Disgusting!!

Take care ladies.
Karona

LetsTry-

I know all about the roller coaster ride you describe and you are right, it is hard to adjust to normal. It seems we have many similarities, except where your STBXH is dragging his feet mine couldn't get divorced quickly enough. However, if he could have gotten some money out of me I am sure he would have tried. Actually money has been the root of all of our fights throughout the whole process. I wish you luck!

Well, what I think is a major accomplishment has happened. BF e-mailed and said that right now we need to be done with this whole mess and move on. He wants no more confrontation and just wants to focus on us. For him this is major as he generally needs so much more. Could we be establishing a new trust level?

So, no, I am not sending the e-mail. I am just going to sit back and see how things progress.

Thanks for the support.

Take care and God bless!
K

I think it may be best left alone with these two people.
I think it could have caused you more grief in dealing with her in your daily life than is worth.

So, my latest question is this. While I didn't seem to care much a week ago, now I do. This guy has asked for my #, and I have given it. He has not called. I'm thinking, perhaps he changed his mind, or, will he be one of those that calls the day of or night before? Is there a rule on how far in advance a new date should call when asking you out for the first time?

This is crazy!!

K!

An hour should be sufficient? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

FR

Fish,

Okay, was that a real dumb question?
I have a friend that sets up traps for me to say dumb things, this kind of reminds me of the trap situation.

Thanks for the laugh!

K!

OK Karona-

We are officially back in high school! There could be a multitude of reasons he hasn't called. Don't automatically assume the worst.

As for how far in advance he should call, good question. It has been my experience however that people without children, don't understand the need for pre-planning that we as parents do so they don't worry so much about calling in advance. Can you even remember those days?

None-the-less, it is fun to see you getting excited and nervous. Enjoy those butterflies!

Take care and God bless!

K

OHHH, is that what those feelings are?? Just kidding.
Honestly, I think he dumped me before he picked me up.

But, it's okay. I'm probably being spared for a good reason.

Hope everyone's day is going well.

K!

Karona, When it comes to love and romance, do we ever get out of high school???

Glad things are moving in a positive direction, Still.

You're onto something LetSTry!

So, I should feel young again? Then why do I feel too old for this stuff?!

K!

Let's hope they are progressing positively!

I totally hear you about feeling young, yet feeling too old for this. My only advice is enjoy the dance. Also, don't be so hard on yourself! He wouldn't have asked for your number if he didn't want it right? I mean he didn't have to did he?

Take care and God bless!
K

"He wouldn't have asked for your number if he didn't want it right? I mean he didn't have to did he?"

Still, It would seem that way.
I talked to a g-friend last night that knows him.
She laughed when I told her I met him. She said, her and another friend were at a bar/rest. about 2 yrs ago. He got the other friends phone#, said he would call, never did.
So, that tells me something. Now, why he went out of his way to get my #, I'm not sure.

It's okay though. Like I said, maybe I was spared some heartache.

I hope things continue to move positively for you Still.
Any plans for the weekend?

K!

Don't assume the worst here. There are differences. For one thing, he simply met your friend and her friend in a bar. Your teacher friend purposely introduced you she must think enough of him to do that. He also might be shy. This asking out and dating stuff can be really difficult for some guys. We know how difficult it can be for us. Could you talk to your teacher friend and have her follow up? Could you ask for his number? Just some suggestions.

On another thought, I thought there was another guy in this mix. What about him?

As for me, things are still a bit tense, but gradually improving. I will keep you posted.

This weekend I have the kids. We are having a party for my oldest since we were unable to do it on her birthday. I get to have seven seventh graders overnight!

On another note, I talked to my XMIL the other night. She wants to get together, but apparently my XH's W is objecting saying she should have nothing to do with me. I guess my XMIL told her that she could understand her objections if I had been the one to have the A, but since it was actually her and my XH, and XMIL has always had a good relationship with me she will do as she pleases. I guess it is causing quite the shake up in the family. It is interesting because although she was really good for a while she suddenly seems to be on an insecure streak and is going after me a lot. There is a lot of tension with the kids. She has told them what happens at their house is their business, but because I am alone and need their assistance they should be told about everything that happens at mine. Hello? Can we say insecure control freak? Not that I care, but I wonder what is causing this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

How about you? Plans for the weekend?

Take care and God bless!
K

Still, Good for her! Give that woman a big kiss for all of us!! Sounds like trouble in paradise for XH and XOW... how UNsurprising. Glad to hear you're not getting caught up in it. Have fun with the 7th graders <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />.

Karona, Yeah, what about the other guy? And what do you have planned for fun this weekend? I'm going to a play tonight with some friends, but the rest of the weekend is open, so far.

Okay ladies, you asked.
I got "the phone call" today, at work. It totally caught me off guard, which was the best scenario. Bad timing though, as I couldn't talk, and then the shoe was placed on the other foot, I had to make the call, back.

So, he asked even though it was late notice if I had plans for the weekend. Thankfully, I could think fast enough, and not say NO plans, but said, I am going to the game tonight and did he want to meet up there. So, that's the plan. Meeting at the game.

As far as the other guy. I don't know that I can say there is another guy. My friend went to the effort of meeting with him and all, but I didn't get any impressions that he is interested in meeting me. Heck, he doesn't even know I exist. I'm about sure he will be at the game tonight though. Maybe it's good he doesn't know who I am.

Still,
I've been seeing some ugliness out of x's home lately also.
First let me say, I think your xMIL was great to speak up the way she did.
My girl's came home upset the other night because of a fight between mother and daughter that involved plates being broken.[mother being the plate breaker] The child is 10.
I'm not a screamer or a fit thrower, so this was a new expereience for them. I did write x about it, stating that I try not to get into his business, but since it involved the girls, I felt I had the right to let him know they were upset.
He was fine with what I said, but threw in, maybe something postive was learned from it, that the girls will know how NOT to treat their parents.
I wanted to tell him, I've taught them better than that, but decided it was best left alone.
Last summer, he took her to the doctor for meds for her moodiness. I'm thinking he got himself a gem! I wonder if he knew about her "other" personality? I know he loved the sex goddess, but there's a flip side to her.
Oh why am I smiling? [which, with the exception of my girls being exposed to violence of course].

I hope you get some sleep at some point this weekend Still.
LetSTry, enjoy the play.

Thank you both for caring and asking me.
I will let you know how it goes.

K!

Okay, had the date.
I will refer to it as my growing/learning experience.

I came home with the "what just happened" feeling.
I spent pretty much 4 hours with this guy, and pretty much all I know about him is that he likes Ball, and that's about it, or so it would seem. He's a girls basketball and softball coach, he refs and officiates other ball games.
He's 38, no kids [as far as I know] and never been married [best I can gather]. He is very socialable, seems to be well liked, and likes to talk about, yep, you guessed it, ball.
And what does he know about me? Nothing, because he never asked me one question.

I don't know that he will call again, as I can imagine he also felt we had hardly anything in common.
It wasn't a bad time, just different.

Here's the funny. The "other" guy, didn't he sit two above me, and to my left. I sure did take a peek at him. Hey, he doesn't know who I am, so it was a free sneak!

So, no butterflies, it was just an uneventful, okay night.

Tell me about your weekend's.

Karona

Karona, I have had dates like that. A great woman, very nice, a good person, but in regards to values, attitudes, likes, dislikes and so on, just not enough to base even a short term dating relationship on.

In fact I had so many dates like that that I decided my mental and emotional health needed a break. So did my wallet! So I stopped dating for a while.

JE~~

Hmmmmm......

I feel like I'm ready to get back into the dating world after having a break for 6mos.
This is only the second guy I've went out with, so far no chemistry.

I feel like I did well in this experience. I didn't compare him to xbf and I don't feel like I've held him responsible for our lack of chemistry, it's just that we really have nothing in common, as you say, not even enough for a short term.

Thanks for the reply!
When your ready to re-surface into the dating world, good luck!
Karona

Karona, Well you get to wade back gently into the dating pool rather than leap in head first, which is probably a good thing. So, did you feel like the other guy was taking notice of you, too?

The play I went to last night was excellent for a local production and I had a nice visit with some friends I hadn't seen in a while. The play was called {proof} and I think it's been turned into a new movie. Very good story, similar to A Beautiful Mind. Makes you wonder if all mathematicians are crazy. The father of a good friend of mine is a mathematician and he's definitely excentric... but I don't know any other mathematicians personally.

This morning I'm working on some reports but hope to get outside this afternoon and go hiking or something. Tonight I may go to a potluck.

Next weekend I'm going to an AA/Al-Anon conference in Yosemite. My H had I used to go after he first got sober and I started going again after he left. Believe it or not, 12 step conferences are something I really enjoy - great speakers, very spiritual, and this one's in a beautiful location.

The next week is Thanksgiving. The last few years, I spent it with XBF's family. This year, my one single, female friend and I are getting together, though others may join us. My family is all on the east coast and I'm on the west. My business is 24/7, which makes it hard to get away.

What kind of Thanksgiving plans do you have?