Thank you for the words of encouragement.

Hello IMTSWife - I too think it may be my husband's. We'll soon find out for sure. I have spoken with an attorney who was kind enough to allow me to ask a few questions. This wasn't a consultation, so I have alot of questions. He told me to wait until after the DNA was taken before actually going out and paying someone for a consultation. So we'll wait patiently.

to sunny thankyou,

I almost feel repremanded by you but your right,
and i will listen to your words. I make the choice of how im reacting and yes everyone heals in their own time and in their own way.
I needed to hear those words from you, thankyou. I will do my best to not let my wall come up, cause i know that brings hate to protect myself. I dont want to do that anymore.
I think this weekend ill get a bunch of the women together and have a prayer session over me. I dont want to hurt or hate. it seems that the too go together for me. thanks for helping me to look at that.

im glad your here, imtswife

does anyone know exactly when the DNA test can be done? Can it be done in the hospital before the baby even goes home? or does the baby have to be a certain age? Does it have to be scheduled in advance or can we walk in and request it to be done? how do we go about it? baby is due 2/12

crazyhurt,

I too was told to wait untill oc is born and paternity has been done. I want to do it all legal but im afraid we may not afford it. I talked to attorney, 1500. retainer fee, i dont know we can do that, were still tring to get caught up from being separated for4 months.

has anyone filed their own papers in the courts without a lawyer. maybe we need to start saving, is laywer worth it in comparison to doing it ourselves and whats the differance?
Anyway ch, I know how your hurting, sometimes i wonder what i did. but then i think God must think i am a very strong woman to let me go through this. and he has spicial plans for me, I believe that for you too. we will get through this and we will be stronger because of it. remember that. imtswife

As much as I preach "attorney" and "legal" you would think I was one. LOL DNA can be done when ever. It can be done before the child is born, but there are risk and most wont do it. Even though me and Lynn have taken different roads. I can tell you that you can get something drawn up BEFORE the child gets here. You can have her sign a paper that states she has not been with anyone else and the child is your H's and IF it's not, then its considered harrassment, if the child is not. And she will be liable for all the fees involved. Its just like insurance, you don't know WHEN you will ever need it, but you have it and you pay for it to keep your family covered. And I will tell you that the peice of mind is worth a million dollars!!!! You know this child is going to arrive, start planning and putting back for the attorney fee's and such. C/S starts the minute the child is born!!! And when/if it goes to court the judge will tell you have an arrears if it takes awhile and you need to be able to pay that then and not have a balance, it can show up on your credit report. I even notified my insurance carrier of the arrival and Baby A has been covered since his first breath. Did I have to, no. Did I want to make sure the child was covered and there where none of this extra expence of not being covered on his medical stuff. Did it also protect my family, you betcha. With all the expences you are going to face, get yourself covered. This is of the utmost importance. Get yourself informed. Get the vistations laws and guidelines for your state. You don't need an attorney for research. And IF by chance the OP is working with you all you have to do is down load a copy of the guide lines, and do a co-partenting plan and have it notorized and take it to the courts to have it entered. Check into the mediators, they are usally cheaper. But it will be worth it in the end. Peace of mind, and covering your behinds, well its priceless.
Sunny D

IMTSWife - My H and I are also not very wealthy people either, but I really think the expense is worth it for your piece of mind. Look around for more attorney's. There may be some cheaper ones, not much cheaper, but a little maybe. Do you or your husband have an Employee Assistance Plan? They have legal services as well.

I read Sunnydale's email. These ladies are on the ball. I will tell you that in MD, child support does not start until the day of the order. So, in other words, if she waits until the child is 3 before she files, then your H would owe from that time (date of order) forward.