Aphelion,

That's a good idea. I don't really document it well. Our attorney has suggested keeping a specific calendar tracking days that he misses with the kids or is late, but I think I'll add those types of occurances too.

D&C will do one of two things:

1. Leave. This is the one I'm betting on. My guess is that by the end of one year C will get bored of having D's time and money go to the kids. She has no idea what she's walking into and I'll guarantee you that a few visits to get to know the kids doesn't give you ANY idea of what is coming. D has never had to deal with the realities of the kids anyway. He'll get tired of it just as he always has. I hope I'm wrong. I hope that being a part time dad allows him enough breathing room to be the best dad he is capable of. I'm just scared of what that level of capability is.

2. They decide to try and get more time with the kids since they're paying child support anyway. This one will blow over fairly quickly I think, but I just learned the hard way how expensive it is to indulge D's attempts to prove what an upstanding dad he is.

Good advice. Thank you.

FIM

my God!

Faith - Document by all means. Just put little notes in a day planner.

But I think your girls are old enough where their character is formed. Everyone is still in the "honeymoon" period. Just give it some time.

I knew my step kids well before their dad and I married - for several years in fact, and they liked me a lot. They were quite excited when we married, and it all went down-hill after that.

I worked like a dog to establish a good relationship with each of them, and it took several years. OW has no idea what she has gotten herself into.

Be sure to log the lying they already had the children do on his behalf. That's a biggy to a guardian ad litum.

You are doing great. Your understanding of life is far beyond your years.

I still predict that D and C will implode. She has no idea. I am sure she is nice and nieve. Wait until she grows up, 24, what is she thinking!

You and Steve sound like a good match. Have a nice Thanksgiving. Enjoy these holidays alone, even though you are going to miss the kids, because you and steve will have a little one to keep you company next year!!! Hugs.

Is it just me or does this all seem like such incredible hard work? I'd love to fall in love but it seems so difficult to imagine putting my girls into such awkward situations. It's not a judgment. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life so I know that's a reality I will have to face one day if I'm lucky!

Faith - despite the fact that it is party-time with dork & C at the moment, I feel so sure he will let them down again. His past record is atrocious. I'm actually surprised he has stayed around this long. Can't believe she wants to be called Mama C. Sounds like some big burly soul singer.