No I have no way of contacting her I don't even know her name.

Where does she fit in all this? Does your W know he was in bed with someone else that morning? Do you think the gf knows about his affair?

I told W GF was there in bed, she denied it he told her she was only one, and he was falling for her. She told me I was a liar it was not true. GF was very upset while I was talking to him asking if WW had been there, etc...

Even though I am under no contact from AF do you think I should call him and find out if he has moved on or as him to break it off?

Does the chaplain know about the GF? Could you speak to him about her? See, I think the GF should be notified of the affair so she can protect herself and I also think the chaplain should tell your W about her. That will throw a huge wet blanket on the affair.

I don't think it will do any good to call OM. He is a liar and will just lie to you. If he had any decency he wouldn't screwing around with married women anyway.

And he does know she is married, right?

And one other question, has she received STD testing?

The chaplain knows about GF but WW thinks I lied to him.

I ahve noway of contactin Gas I don't know her name, if I called OM's cell he wouldn't let me talk to her anyway.

He knows she is married. Any Ideas???

She was tested for STDs Thursday and will get results next week.

hmmmm, can you think of any way to find out who the GF is? Does the chaplain know who she is? I think she could be the key here in blowing up this affair. First off, it would prove to your W that he is just using her and it would cause the OM huge troubles.

Chaplain doesn't want to get involved with that, already asked. Only way I know of is to call OM cell and hope GF asnwers.

Well, you have tried being the nice guy, and that isn't working. I think I would continue on with my life, do fun things, and put wife on the back burner.

If OM has a girlfriend, it will come out soon enough. When you try to tell your wife that he does, it will just make her defend him, and make her angry at you. Trust me, she will believe him over you everytime.

Are you going out and doing fun things to make your life good again?

Trying to, hard with 2 children around, I take them wherever I go. They are great kids. I enjoy their company.

I hope you are getting out with some adults. This stuff is extremely hard on a person. I let all my friends/workmates/neighbors know that I was up to go do things. It helped get my mind off of all of the problems.

Eagle, if there is anything you can think of to find out the GF's name or get in contact with her, I would do it. If you at least had a name, you could give your W her name and/or even contact her. That would be a HUGE blow to the affair for your W to find out that he was screwing around on her.

Its too bad that you don't live close by so you could watch his house for the GF.

I think I'm going to hire a PI to get a name and pictures. That is all I can come up with right now.

Eagle, that would be awesome! I think it would be a death blow to the affair and would expose him for what he is. It would probably be very well worth the money.

Eagle, seeing how she is so close to retirement, I hoped you weighed what impact her getting in trouble will effect her military retirement. Remember its your retirement too!! Just thought I would throw that out there.

Yes I have thought about it. I won't ruin her retirement, but I would like to get more info on this guy and his GF or GFs. I think he is a dogs dog. What used to be called a player.

Eagle, I agree. I think you have a GREAT opportunity here to ruin him. If your W finds out he is with other women, he will be ruined in her eyes. You will have to present any intel very carefully, so as not to make her defensive, but we can help you with that.

She is reading SAA up to ch 6, is willing to discuss the issues at the end of the chapters. She has been calling and informing me of her travels, actually called a couple of times to let me know she was going to be late from work. She is also trying to not LB, and appreciates I'm not LBing. She is trying to let me meet ENs, now accepts occaisional card and appreciates it. I am providing very few ILYs, only when I forget (twice this weekend), talking about kids, job, shopping for Thanksgiving, she is sending a shopping list for dinner, called me about a roasting pan on sale at Kohls, she was going to get one, but said we didn't need 2 so asked me to get one here. Planning Christmas, presents for kids, etc... All in all a pretty good weekend. She got the lst card I sent 1 week after last card, really liked it. Seems like maybe WD and fog are easing up a little. I certainly hope so.

More as the story develops

I am waiting for call back from PI. Cost, can they do it etc... Will post more as I find out more.