Here's my story....it's long, it's full of drama and pain....all the usual stuff.....you may recognize yourself in some of it.....


http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=1&vc=1

Shugah,

OMG, I started reading your thread and you were right, I do recognize myself. If I didn't know better I would think that this is my STBXWH you were talking about. Can't wait to finish reading it. Thanks it gives me hope.

Lemonman means well. He is not calling names or pointing out realities for the heck of it. He's one of my favorites around here.

There was a poster here, Danielle from VA, and her wayward husband was just absolutely horrid. She kept up hope right to the end. I often think it hurt her more that way when the divorce came through, because she found it extremely difficult to stop seeing the 'real' H in the WH. So one day I told her that when she looks at her WH, stop viewing him as the one she knew before because THAT H was dead. And the WH standing in front of her was the man who had killed him.

Ya see, Im someone who couldn't stick around waiting for an affair to die. I think Lemonman is that way, too. Add kids to the mix and watching them be disrespected while they watch their mother be disprespected...and my blood boils over. Its very difficult to watch and I often find myself biting my tongue. So many BS's deserve so much more than they are getting.

HOWEVER, I know that *YOU* are not prepared for it, really, and if you feel you need to stick it out, I will do my best to support that decision. I will reserve the right to not wholly agree, though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I guess, now that I view myself and my life differantly, Im so much more proactive in what I do. And I know I get anxious and upset for people who are playing a waiting game while their WS's are cavorting and living it up. So Im all for 180s, for shaking up the WS, for shaking up yourself.

That being said- how is the job?

Hey Mojodiva,

Yeah I know Lem means well.

Don't get me wrong, I still have hope to recover my M, but I am not putting my life on hold for it. I have made many positive changes in my life since, and still are making changes. I know I'll make some man a wonderful wife, now I prefer it be with my childrens father but if not, so be it.

The job training is going great, I don't actually start work until Jan 3rd. Of course everyone can't believe that I am going through this but everyone is very supportive.

I'm so happy you are getting that training.

My sister does not have a high school diploma nor a GED, but she took a real estate course in Houston. Last month she started a new job with a broker as an assistant (something, hehe I have baby brain) and makes $30k a year.

I'd be envious of her if it wasnt for the custody battle she is engaged in with her a$$ of an ex-husband and the crappy marriage she has now with husband #2.

I think I will keep my military wife, stay at home status over that any day.

Yeah, this is my 6th tax season working for them. I really love doing it.

I was just thinking about STBXWH and I taxes for this year, I am going to ask him for all of the refund (instead of half) this year so I can get the van fixed and save the rest so I won't ever end up like I am now. I think he would do it b/c he gets a bonus from work about the same amount and around the same time. But then again maybe he won't b/c, I will start getting CS and hopefully spousal support depending on when the date is-I should know soon b/c I am answering his D petition next week then we can get an emergency hearing for that.

Oh, also more good news. I talked to the case worker for the State for the CS, she said that they are going to up the CS to include the $1600/month child care that I now have to pay to work. Actually, I am not paying that now b/c the state is paying it for me but when I start getting CS, I will make to much to qualify for the State Child Care Assistance. (I think she said that he will be responsible for 90% of it). She said if we don't get it in time then when we have the emergency hearings to make sure to include that in the CS issue. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> He is really gonna love me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> He will have nothing left to live on. Oh well, you have to pay to play.

Just get the satisfaction of knowing he won't have anything left to spend on his 'interests' and they'll be pushed into covering things for him.

Put the income tax suggestion in your petition-- explaining that you and the children need it for transportation, paying bills, getting to work, getting food, and all that. I believe the judge can make the call on that one, not your WH.

I'll talk to my attorney about putting that in there.

STBXWH just called and asked for the kids this weekend. I told him that we have children's choir rehearsal tommorrow and that I can drop them off over his parents after that but I needed the kids back tommorrow night for church Sunday, but he can have them again after church. He got kinda quiet and said that that is too much driving ( <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />oh but he can drive for longer hours to be with OW). Then he says well how about I take them tommorrow and then next weekend. I said OK.

I asked was he getting the kids something for Christmas, he said that he would, but I don't believe him. I'm not telling the kids in case he doesn't come through which I doubt that he will but he might surprise me like he did when he made a house payment last week.

Update:

Okay, finally after borrowing money from everyone, I got enough to retain my attorney to answer my WH's D petition this week.

Lashell,

Good I am glad you got the money to do it. It will be a big relieve for you to finally have some answers and have him finally be resposbile.

I finally got the money relief myelf friday but a whole bunch of new things came with it. I won't go into on your thread but just be careful about listening to his babble.

Take Care

Hurting

Hey Hurting,

I'm so glad that I can finally get some financial relief.

I have been keeping up with your sitch, and I'm studying your sitch b/c it seems that our WH are twins <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> and I will know what to do and what not to do.

BTW, did they say how long it will take to start getting your money? You don't have to answer but I was just trying to get an idea of how long it took.

P.S. Stay dark and away from the drama that will soon unfold. Don't let WH eat away at the love you still have for him.

Lashell,

He has to start his first payment this week. It is being broken up into 2 payments a month. One on the first and and one on the 15.....

I just came from my IC.. I will update on my thread because I am more confused now than ever..... Check it out lol

Hurting

Well tommorrow @ 1pm is the BIG day. I answer my WH D petition.

Good Luck, I hope it goes well for you.

WOOHOO!

As soon as the judge decides, you should get money ASAP.

Thanks WTF, I have a feeling that all will go well.

Hey Mojo, I just wished I could of started this sooner so that I can have some money by Christmas for the kids. Hopefully it will not take that long to get a emergency hearing with the holidays and all.

Lawyer wanted me to bring the emails that I saved when I was encouraging WH to spend time with the kids also he wants to talk to my friend who called WH to encourage him to also spend time with the kids and WH told her that he wanted nothing to do with the kids or me right now (SHAME, SHAME, SHAME and I am so glad I kept those emails) WH is going to get a huge wake up call especially when the judge sees and hears this. Finally, consequence for his actions.

Everyone please send up a prayer for me, I am off to meet with my attorney to answer WH D petition.

{{{{Okay Lashelle}}}}}

((lashell))

Okay, someone please help. I feel so discourage right now. First off, went to go file answer to WH D petition. My attorney said that I will NOT get sole custody of the kids if I cannot prove that husband is on drugs, ever abused the kids, have sex with men etc. He said the court will encourage him to have joint custody. He said that the judge will think that I am trying to get back at him if I asked for sole custody b/c the judge thinks that it is in the best interest of the children to spend almost equal time with him. He said of course I will have physical custody and their residence will be with me. WH will not be allowed overnight stays with his one bedroom apt. Well that is not fair b/c I do not want them 24/7 w/o no overnights with him. What is the point of him having joint custody then.

Also, my attorney said that I CANNOT get temporary spousal support. That I can get spousal support once the D is final. I am going to research this. I was sure that I could.

This is just getting me down; I am so frustrated right now.

What do I do?

I have to run to take the kids to a program tonight but will be back in a couple of hours.