dearest lemon doc:

I will add to the list after answering your initial symptom list...
1. Ford trucks (F-150 type)** VERY strong risk factor**my xh and I had a navigator...but he drove a h1 Hummer...
2. Military enrollment)** VERY strong risk factor**none, he could hurt his wittle handsome self!
3. Smoking and chewing tobacco (only cigarettes, Pipes not significantly linked)==smoked high priced cigars occasionally..even better if they were illegally smuggled in from cuba
4. Hunting (all types of game, inluding fishing))** VERY strong risk factor**he hunted deer....and women...used the rolex and hummer as the bait for the trap
5. Bowling..nah...he couldn't find the "could've been a stripper type" there.
6. Pool halls (billiards)..nah, again no high maintenance women hang out there
7. Tatoos (trend, but not statistically significant)he has none...but likes em on girls in sacral region
8. Blue collar work (strong trend, but not statistically significant)...he has no college degree, came from blue collar family but resisted fact he was NOT degreed and still became head of a company...but his whole family is pretty much blue collar.

add in's from a peach:
9. business trips: did some of his most dastardly cheating when on them.
10. casino's: he is addicted to being treated as a high roller...this also falls and could be subcategorized under "entitlement" which he also has the symptom of...big time! He loves casinos! especially luxurious ones...where they can give the nice suites to the high roller so he can impress the stupid little impressionable ow.
11. sometimes you can put number 9 and number 10 together as he would go on business trips and wind up at casinos! lmao...sad, but true.
12. cigar smoking. not cheap ones, the expensive ones. imho, was just a phallic symbol and a trendy way for him to show "hey babes...come over here and see my big cigar.."
13. dressing 10-20 years younger than actual age. this could be something that even women could have symptoms of...I remember it well..ahh...the afternoon he dropped of my son to me after he had him for 2 days. we'd been separated maybe a month or two. He rang doorbell and I opened it...there stood darth. and my son (precious little guy)and my son exclaimed :" Mommy daddy wook wike a zee-ba (zebra)" I looked at darth and said "Yes, your daddy does look like a zebra. So where' ya off to darth?" Darth: I am going to the pink and lenny kravitz concert. Me: Does the babysitter's parents know she's gonna be out late...after midnight?" darth: that was out of line.

darth was wearing designer jeans, but carefully ripped at the bottoms...some jesus-looking man sandals (designer too) and what appeared to me as a fashion conscious woman to be a versace like long sleeved shirt with a loud obnoxious print on it...very much zebra-like...and he had his hair all spiked up with gel (looked like you could [censored] your finger on it) and in middle of the day wearing at front door sunglasses which made him look either like an insect or bono from u2.

forgot to add in on the "dressing 10-20 years younger" criteria that the ws must have prior to onset of symptoms be doing opposie...dressing conservatively or age appropriate...my xh when we were the married couple, wore khaki's and dressy polo or hilfiger stuff...nice designer suits with great ties...very much like the guys in the polo ads. extremely conservative but stylish then...now, he wears some really wierd stuff I can't even stomach to see...looked like some of the 20 something guys I've seen when out with my friends at clubs.

and as a result? what have I done? stayed my usual self....but yea, the singleness has indeed had an effect on me...I do own 2 pairs of low rise jeans now...I wear flip flops in december with them...and I have 2 strethcy tshirts from hollister...yea, it happens and is a side effect of the "singleness suddenly" phenomena that occurs even to the bs. and I grew my hair out four inches longer.

oops..how about we add in "cheating parent of ws must be same sex..example: my xh's dad is a chronic cheater but it was only revealed during our crisis in my marriage...his dad had been carrying on with one of his clients...a long term affair of 2plus years."

so I also want to add in :"cheating parents of ws"

Very religious people who think that their faith is so strong that they would not actually have an affair and can enjoy the company of a person of the opposite sex to whom they are attracted, even if their spouse feels threatened by that relationship.

"Pride goeth before the fall."

Cherished

Kiwi Jen,

Let's keep it light and give Lemonman a break. After all, he is a Yank, and can't help it. Let's break the culture code and start our own risk factor list for non-Americans. My risk-factor list is based on a completely objective <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> long-term study of a European male:

1. He lived with his mom until he moved in with you.
2. His mother still cleaned his room as long as he lived at home.
3. His sister cut his fingernails until he moved in with you.
4. He did not know how to operate a single household appliance until he moved in with you.
5. He cannot operate a chainsaw, a drill, or a screwdriver. He can hammer.
6. When you are out of town, his mother or his sister iron his underwear and socks. (Yikes! At this point, I'd like to take a hot iron to his underwear while he's got them on!)
7. He drives a mini-van with no kids or family paraphenalia in it.
8. He can operate a hammock better than a lawn mower.
9. He uses more of your anti-wrinkle cream than you do.
10. He needs nore time in the bathroom to get ready for work (meeting place with OP) than you do to get ready for dinner out, the theater, or opera, etc.

Get the pic? At this point I fantasize about a lumberjack from North Idaho or BC. A man that protects me and fixes stuff. A plaid flannel shirt would be fine, but can we do without the baseball cap? I'm not tall enough to see if he's balding anyway.

You mean there is more to the world than the US? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Who'd've thought?

We do have good lumberjacks here!

Oops, I'd forgotten there were people on here who didn't know I'm the FWW. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Sorry - I was a bit grumpy last night. I put my neck out very badly yesterday and it put me in a bit of a bad mood.

Jen

Darn it, lemonman! Not ALL of us rednecks cheat!

KiwiJen,

Anyone and everyone could end up a cheater ... it is those that think they never could and don't protect themselves that IMHO end up being the most stubborn cheaters that are the most talented at rationalizing and absurdly blaming their faithful spouse for their affair without batting an eyelash.

Courageous is the x-cheater that owns his/her mistake, makes amends, and aids their spouse in healing.

#1 = Additional Risk Factor(s) Identified But Ignored.

(usually due to low self-esteem, denial, intimidation)



Everything after that ... only symptoms.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

AMEN, CHERISHED!!!!! Pride indeed!

Aside from military service, that's it for us...

1. Ford trucks (F-150 type)** VERY strong risk factor**
We have 2 ford explorers does that count?
2. Military enrollment)** VERY strong risk factor**
He is prior military and I am active duty
3. Smoking and chewing tobacco (only cigarettes, Pipes not significantly linked)
Yep he smokes, but only when he drinks, which gives
him a reason to always drink
4. Hunting (all types of game, inluding fishing))** VERY strong risk factor**
No this one doesn't apply
5. Bowling
Neither does this one
6. Pool halls (billiards)
He plays pool but doesn't hang out at pool halls
7. Tatoos (trend, but not statistically significant)
Yep, he had a tatoo whem we met and then him and OW
went and got tatoos together
8. Blue collar work (strong trend, but not statistically
He is a limo manager, no degree

Wait a minute...

Are we talking risk factors for a PA or an EA?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

If you all are talking about a PA then I'm exempt from the list. If your talking about ANY A then I hit a lot of 'em.

But! But! I know a lot of holier than thow medical professionals that are also in the A club!

You know long hours, stress, too much money, boredom, dealing with other folks issues..... All legitimate reasons to have an A right?

Gotcha.

Now where's my bowling ball, cigarettes, Copenhagen, and F-350 keys?

Plank.

Lemonman, my WH does not match any of your risk factors except for bowling and he hardly ever does that anymore.

HOWEVER:
9. business trips: did some of his most dastardly cheating when on them.
CHECK

10. casino's: he is addicted to being treated as a high roller...this also falls and could be subcategorized under "entitlement" which he also has the symptom of...big time!
CHECK

11. sometimes you can put number 9 and number 10 together as he would go on business trips and wind up at casinos! lmao...sad, but true.
CHECK

12. cigar smoking. not cheap ones, the expensive ones. imho, was just a phallic symbol and a trendy way for him to show "hey babes...come over here and see my big cigar.."
CHECK

13. dressing 10-20 years younger than actual age.
CHECK

scary, innit?
Mulan

"12. cigar smoking. not cheap ones, the expensive ones. imho, was just a phallic symbol and a trendy way for him to show "hey babes...come over here and see my big cigar..""

Hey! I smoke cigars. Cheap ones though. Maybe that’s why I’ve never had an A. Maybe I need to spend more on my cigars?

But then, as Freud said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."