one more thing. WW said If BS did not expose A then WW could have come back. Now there is now way!!

They all say that. sigh.... It is just fogbabble.

Did you read what we said about the house?

I can not pay for the house on my own. We have to sell. So I was stupid, I only now read the mail. So what now please help?

Report what to police? Last I checked, an e-mail telling of a spouse's affair is not against the law. That whole First Amendment thing doncha know. And if she is claiming your e-mails defamed her character, well, truth is a defense in libel/slander cases. I wouldn't worry about that.

A restaining order? On what grounds? Have you threatened her? Up here, ROs are called "protection from abuse" orders. If you haven't abused her, or threatened abuse, then I don't think the police/courts will want to waste their time on her.

Sorry for your sitch, dude. Looks like it's going straight to Plan B.

GBH
Nope I am not abusive and will never be. The restraining order is more to protected OM I think.

Van, isn't she on the mortgage too? She can't just walk away frm her mortgage when the spirit moves her.

Van, protect him from WHAT? The truth? Do you think it's against the law to tell the truth? C'mon, please knock it off.

Have you signed any papers to sell the house? What are you options in backing out of this?

Well I have told WW that I will GET OM because I can do anything against her and it was a promise I do keep all my promises and WW knows that. I am not abusive or have I ever threatened WW. It is WW friends that think I will do something stupid. But I will not I am not that stupid. I have thought what I would like to do but I think every one has those feelings.

I have signed the papers and there will be a 2000€ claim if we back out. Or I can just will not except the offer. The place we have will go quick and the agent said she might have a buyer.

new update. WW has left some contact nunbers for the law and advice place in town. not to sure if they are playing games now. I'll go there tomorrow and see if WW and OM could screw me. Or is OM affraid that I will expose OM side. I can not get any info on OM but it seems they are trying their best for me not to find anything about him. What is your thought on this point?
WW said that she never had a affair after she spoke to OM for 1 hour on the phone. WW said that I am telling nothing but lies (expose). Aliens does not like to be exposed.
My question: If we sell the house and move to our own place what do I do then, no contact or what?? (plan B) or is that the end of my marriage then???

Van,

You must find out all you can about the OM. How big is the town or city in which you live? Might any of W's friends know about him? Do you know where she met him? Where he may work? Can you hire a private detective?

On the house...I do not accept the offer!! Very good! Now you are thinking clearly and logically.

You need to slow everything down.. and be calm.

""what do I do then, no contact or what??""

This all depends on WHAT YOU WANT TO DO!! Do you want to save your marriage? Do you want to walk away? If she said she wanted to come back to rebuild your M, would you take her back?

Figure out what your best end game would be, then work to achieving it. Try to become pro-active rather than re-acting to her.

You are doing fine. May I ask in what country you live?

k

To day: I told I do not want to sell the house and this is what happend.
1) lot of name calling in my direction
2) WW got abusive ( I can handel that) kicking and hitting
3) poor water on my pc
4) WW threw coffe at me but hit the wall
5) WW said she will come back because of love not because I force her. (fogbabble)
6) WW stormed out saying will never come back again.
Should I clean the coffe?
I did start to laught at her but it was more out of shock.

We are in Finland.
Again please help What next?

Please document all of this in a journal and take pictures if you can. Prepare yourself the best you can if this goes to court.

Good job on reneging on your agreement to sell the house. You did the right thing.

van, you did the right thing. Just smile sweetly and don't let her bait you into a fight. She is angry because you are making it harder for her to destroy you.

Let her clean up the coffee.

Thanks again. This is not easy! but I appreciate the support.

Van, we know it is real hard. And it will probably get harder before it gets easier. But just hang in there and you might be able to save your marriage. You did great!

Aliens still have hold on WW.
1)WW has chancel everyting for the house, phone, internet electricity. Now trying for bank to take over her part of morgarge.
2)Packed most of her stuff.
3)Because of exposure will never have contact with me again.
4)WW wants time for herself.
5)Didn't have an affair just a friend (yes and I believe that!!!)
6)WW does not care what other people (friends and family)say about her actions.
7) WW hates me, no respec
8) WW does every thing that annoys me but it has no effect on me I just smile and say I am sorry she feels this way.
9) WW said I am opsessed with keeping or forceing her to stay in same place.
10) WW just phoned me, WW have spoken to bank and told them that I do not want to sell or move out of house. Will take me to court and then people will see that I want to keep house, which she is paying for.(WW is paying for house).
Advice please, I think we should just sell and then see after a while???

Sounds like she is having a tantrum in order to get her way. I wouldn't let her have her way. Just call the phone, etc and tell them not to cancel. Hold your ground and smile sweetly. When she sees she can't manipulate you with her tantrum she will change her tune.

I have not seen WW since the 17th of Nov. I spoke to WW briefly on phone last night. WW said WW never had an A or a friend. Well in short she is still lying, I can not understand why does she have to lie to me about small stupid stuff. I have known her to never lie before. I ask WW why all the lies and she said: So what! WW is realy upset because of exposure, WW said I am doing this to hurt WW. WW said that it is sick people whom is giving me advise.(MB people). WW sister told me that WW has send her e-mail stateing that WW does not regred haveing an A. I think WW knows I am in contact with WW family that has been very supportive.
My question is what do I do now because WW is not staying with me so no real plan A. Do I wait untill A dies and hope she will come back to me or should I except that my Marriage is over? Thanks for the past replies it helpt me alot.