Melody,
I am torn by what the Word tells me about cherishing and protecting my WW. Should I, as her husband, expose her to such shame when I vowed to Love, Honor, and Cherish her?
Did you vow to honor and cherish an affair? As a Christian, you should honor and cherish and love your W. That means that you do everything in your power to rescue her from this destructive affair and save your marriage. That means that you do not aide and abet her affair by helping her hide it. If you really cherish her, you will do what it takes to save your marriage instead of helping the affair survive by hiding the secret. That is what a Christian husband does. There is nothing honorable in aiding and abetting your W in conducting an affair.
The other issue is with her employer. She works in an environment where fraternization with other agents is almost encouraged. Exposing at her business could have the effect of driving her and the OM closer together. He is divorced and is over 60. She already doesn't care what her family thinks about the separation and won't speak to hardly any of them.
Exposure will cause great conflict in the affair at work with others watching them. This is what you want.
It's not my intention to whine. I understand the logic behind plan A. It is just difficult to cause hurt and pain to her, even with the hurt and pain she is causing me. I just want to be sure that this is going to be constructive and not destructive.
soinluv, I hate to tell you this, but the affair is "destructive" to your marriage. It is the affair that is causing "hurt and pain." The goal of exposure is to ruin the affair and effect an end to the "hurt and pain." The only way you can save your marriage is by busting up this affair and forcing your wife to face the consequences of her affair. You should be destructive to the AFFAIR, that is your only hope of saving your marriage.
Otherwise you are wasting your time.
