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hurting.... Thank you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. It was really nice to talk to him. I don't know if this will get my H to turn away from the path he is on now...(as Steve said that is what we want to do).... What Steve suggests doing is something that I have been wanting, and Steve pointed me in the right direction, tweaked it, and gave me some plan, something to stick to. At first I thought perhaps having that conversation with H 2 weeks ago was a bad idea in light of what Steve says....but I don't think so right now.....at least H knows I am thinking about us....and I am working on figuring this out....my part, my role in his leaving.....so me coming to him for some validation should not be a complete surprised to H ........lets hope. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I am really sorry for what is happening to you hurting <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />....I always check your post....the DD situation has kind of sped out of control it seems but it will get better. All the best.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Daisy
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Daisy, You live in the same province as me. So, I could pop a copy of mine in the mail for you - you could tell him you borrowed it and need to return it in a few weeks if you wanted to <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I am glad you got a plan from Steve. I think it's a good one. And I will keep you in my prayers.
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Dorry.... How are you taking the cold???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Don't you wish we could be back in last week? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I came up here from CA 3 years back so this is still a big change for me......I really don't like when it gets all frozen and crunchy up in your nose (sorry I meant MY nose)! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Sorry for the visual! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> I am really looking for the book, but I cannot find it. Ordering it from amazon will take a week.....Hey if you are here right now (on MB that is <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)...I'll give you my email and we can comunicate that way.....Thank you for thinking of me.....very nice of you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />!!! Daisy
Last edited by white_daisy; 12/01/05 04:33 PM.
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Daisy,
Just an FYI, you can purchase the book on this website. You will have to wait for delivery of course but they could probably rush it to you.
Good Luck.
S.
Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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Dorry.....
I actually have to run out now so I'll be back in 2 hours....and hope we can talk then....
Daisy
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Daisy,
Most local christian stores in this province will carry it. I know where I am (town of 60,000) I found it in two of the stores.
Have you tried in those stores?
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And I am HATING the cold....I am used to it though hehe - live in the wrong country - I was enjoying the mini "heat wave" last week....
I am in the northern part of this province hehehe so it gets even COLDER!!!
Last edited by dorry; 12/01/05 06:32 PM.
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dorry... Thanks for the info <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />.....I'll have a look around....call some places tonight...should have thought of that! I know it is much colder where you are.....but I am cold, darnit <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />! Feeling kind of good yet freaked out a bit....I really do not see the conversation with H asking him to look at the book as a favor to ME as going too well.....I worry he will just see it as some ploy by me to get him to do something <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />....I have been prety good at leaving him alone <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />.... I did speak to H last night...and I asked about his car was it working (given the weather) and all....He said he walked to work (I thought that sounded crazy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />...) but he did take it out to go shoping....it took some time to start up! I chated a bit here and there, 5 minutes....I used my new recorder to record the conversation <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />....so I know it was just under 5 minutes....kind of sad....we use to be able to talk for hours...but that is ages ago.... Anywho...I got to go put my chicken in the oven....get the ball rolling on this dinner tonight <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />....I got some movies so I hope people stay....got some short films just incase they want to stay but don't want to watch a 2 hour thing.... Enjoy up there in the north <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />....I'll have a call around the bookstores now and see what I find out.... Enjoy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Daisy
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dorry....BTW....I wrote down your email..... Thank you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Daisy
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dorry.... Found it! Thanks so much....actually found a used hardback for $5 at a used christian bookstore. I'll go there tomorrow to pick it up. Back to the cooking..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Daisy
Last edited by white_daisy; 12/01/05 08:05 PM.
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Glad you found it!!!! It's a good read - you will find it educational actually - learned lots about men's needs....they describe it well.
Another one if to read - cause it applies to ALL relationships we have with people is Love Busters.
For me that was the even better as I never realized how many selfish demands or disrespectful judgements I was making on most of the people I love. Not love busting in the sense out lashing or hurting - but the SD's and DJ's...that book opened my eyes too!
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Well, I did it again....Steve told me not to check up on H yet I still went and looked at his email..... he wrote to another girl...."No I am not married anymore. That lasted two years which weren't particularly happy.".... I don't see how doing anything that Steve told me to do will help......<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" /> This individual that I supposedly am not married to (b/c we are not married anymore <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />).....is done with me! I don't see it any other way........ Daisy
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Let me add....that when he says it like that to others....if I was that girl I would think he was Divorced! I am so ticked off here......he is done and cannot even be responsible enough to tell me he wants a D or to tell her the real status! That we are seperated!
This is really bugging me!
Daisy
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That's why u should stop snooping. U can't handle it right now.
L.
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Orchid, you are right I know you are right.....I'll try really hard....<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />
Daisy
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U could do something more constructive and fun! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
L.
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Well, I did it again....Steve told me not to check up on H yet I still went and looked at his email..... he wrote to another girl...."No I am not married anymore. That lasted two years which weren't particularly happy.".... I don't see how doing anything that Steve told me to do will help......:'( This individual that I supposedly am not married to (b/c we are not married anymore <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />).....is done with me! I don't see it any other way........ Daisy Daisy, If you read my story, after my A, 6 months into recovery - my H left. He told people he had been seperated for months..that it had never been a particularily happy marriage. that it was over and he was glad he was never looking back. to this day he will still tell you he had NO plans on ever returning (was willing to not see the kids much at all) Yet - here we are - maried now, quite happily...he's been home for almost 6 months. Steve is right - stop reading the email and checking up on him. Your H is in a different frame of mind right now...stick with Steve's plan k?
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white daisy, please listen to Steve. He told me the exact same thing and what did I do...I continued to snoop, found things that bothered me and confronted my WW with them. It only made matters worse. The A is a secondary issue right now so stop the snooping and concentrate on yourself and a strong Plan A.
When WS find out the BS is snooping it is a huge LB'er. You know your WH is in the fog right now so what good does it do to find out more of the same and risk LB'ing.
Work on yourself...you can do it.
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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Hi Daisy,
Sorry, a lot was happening to me and I did not have energy to pop in. I am glad you spoke to SH. I know it hurts every time you discover something unpleasant, but if it is going to work out, it is best for now that you do not know too much so that you will not be discouraged. Hang in there.
Hugs,
Milk
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Milk, Hope it works, Dorry. Yes, I know you all are right. Sitting here it is so easy to give in and check that account <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />....but I will do my best now not to look there since what he is saying is not at all new and all it does is give me less energy and eats away at the love I have for this man. Thank you for checking in. I got to be strong here....hard to do when he is not telling me anything (has not for 3 months)..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Daisy
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