Why doesn't WW want to come in the house or spend the night?
Does it remind her of being a wife or doing the right thing.
Im baffled with this. Im getting pretty tired of the excuses.

Does she really think her happieness is going to be there after D. I mean she has me labeled as such a bad guy and when i ask her to explain she won't or just can't. I look back and yes I was working suffering from depression and still trying to make her happy. Im confused. I seen her naked and bam what do you think happened to me. I have always and continue to love her. Why I ask myself, she has treated me like garbage. I have never humilliated or disrespect her in anyway.

Im venting.

I think you are doing great. Your Plan A is confusing her. She is thinking about you. Having said that, I think she is still active in an A. You need to confirm this.

I think you made a lot of love deposits yesterday. Good job.

As for advice, take it one day at a time. This is a marathon, not a 100 meter race.

Thanks again UVA, I know this is a marathon and im getting tired. I thought I did a great job also.

Going back to thursaday WW asked for her rings back and i asked her why and she said b/c I love them. I told her she can't where them on her right hand that means Im dead. I said that with humor. WW said i know and paused for a few seconds and said I love them materialisticly. WW said so can i have them I said no not now.

I talk to WW a few minutes ago b/c i got into a car accident, nothing major a car cut infront of me and the girl then slammed aon her brakes and I hit her in the rear. No injuries and we started to exchange info and she said never mind I will take care of it myself. No fault state. I asked WW what my deductible was and she told me and I explained to her what happen. I have never been in an accident since i have known her except when I backed into a car that was parked in a parking lot about 1 1/2 yrs ago and I waited for the owner and My WW was so mad at me b/c I waited to be honest. Thats another story. WW then asked if I had DD tennis shoes and I said I don't think so. I asked what they were getting ready to do and she said she was going to her moms and Ww was going to the gym. I told WW you could of brought her over and i would of watched her. WW says last time I asked you wouldn't I did have plans so i could not and boy did she put the guilt trip on me. I asked if she had a good time at the water park and she replied yes how many times are you going to ask. I had only made a statement early saying it was fun. WW then went back to the gym issue and told me do you remember when I sent you the text thatnks for watching DD so i could go to the gym and then said F***U and hung up.


What is wrong with this women. I have never been sweared at this much in my entire life nor swore at someone like this. I will hang in there. God help me.

She needs to see you as the bad guy to justify her actions. It is part of the WS script. Keep on message on the one hand, and protect yourself on the other.

You can't protect WW from her actions nor control her mood and behavior. Just be the best you can be.

I have a question. Exactly what is your plan with respect to snooping on her?

I plan on using this evidence for court and exposing her again.

I know I cant control her actions or behavior but she use to listen and take my opionions into consideration.

Ok is she is at the gym -and you do not have Dd -isn't it time to ck on her and where she is going? See who she is with?

realtor,
WW was at the gym and no signen of OM. WW then went to her Mothers to pick up DD. I waited about a half hour and she went back to her apt. No signen of OM.

Why did my WW go with me to the water park? What is her reason? We had a good time. Like i said she was very hung up on herself. (body) She looks great.

Monday WW called me and asked if she could take DD to a co workers for dinner. I told her that i have her Mon,tue and wed. WW then told me she was drinking this really good coffee I told her how about DD and I go get some track for her train and we come over have coffee and then you can take DD to co-workers. WW said well i have some stuff to do and I will call you back.

WW called me back and said how about we both go with DD to co-workers house for dinner and come over a few hours before we leave. I was a bit suspicious about having to get her car wash and going to the gym.

We did go to co-workers and I had a good time talking etc.. and WW made me a plate. I thanked her for it. WW then went out to have a cigrettee with co-worker and I went upstairs and they where gone. I asked co-workers husband and he said they ran to pick up some pictures. WW returns and I said you ran out with co-worker to get pictures she said yes.

I went outside and smoked a cigrettee and I see WW in the house looking for me she sees me outside and comes out where did you go you didn't tell me you went outside. I never questioned her at all about leaving to go to the store. What is that all about she seemed concerned.

We left co-workers house and WW pulled up alongside of me and asked me whats wrong why are you crabby I said im fine. I was fine. WW then called me after we got on the road and asked me again and then said I wasn't very talkative I said well I was talking alot but you where upstairs and everything is fine. WW then says Im just making sure and you seemed like you didn't want to be their. I have no clue what she is talking about, I had a good time.

Yesterday WW and I talked a bit about the R and yes I brought it up, I know bad idea but this stuff builds up. WW told me im not going the right way about saving the M by telling her parents what had happen and when I asked her thoughts on it she would not explain what is right. I told her we have two sets of problems what happened with our M and her infidelity and she got mad saying thats all your worried about is other men. I am worried about that who wouldn't be? WW then said stop i don't want to talk about it. I told her im fighting for our M and i don't want a D.

WW seems to have no remorse on what she has done and just wants it to be swept under a rug. She even told me to just get over it. I asked how do I stop loving you how do I just shut it off. Of course no answer. WW also told me im trying to make her feel guilty and preassuring her. WW has never wanted to open up in a whole year. WW has told me all i will do is throw the OM in her face the rest of her life. I told her that would not happen and we would have to recover from it by talking about it. I do beleive DB said some WW will never discuss it.

WW is coming over tonight for dinner and to see DD b/c she wanted to take her for the evening and I suggested we spend the evening together and she said ok. We are going to have chinese.

Any suggestions or advice.

whats the picture link.

My WW told me the other day during a discusion that she might get emotional feelings back for me but no physicall feelings. I listen to this and thought if there are emotional feelings that physicall would follow. Im confused.

Not much to update here. I did talk to WW and I called her honey and she told me not to call her honey,baby,babe or sweety because it annoys her. She will say this every now and then and other times say nothing. WW did seem pretty distant to me the past few days. any ideas?

I talk to My WW a few mins ago I called her and I asked if I could see DD and she told me no because i don't know how to act. What she is referring to is when she brings up the R, she says what she wants to say and doesn't want me to say anything back like our M is worth saveing. WW hung up and then called the house but I did not answer. I know why she called the house she wanted to see where I was at. I called her back from my cell and first thing she ask me is where are you, I replied does it matter and she started by calling me a nut bag etc... WW says your outside my apt aren't you I said no and she goes on to say I know more than you think. WW hangs up. I called her back from the house phone probably a bad move but she seemed a little better.

WW told me I want to control her and win. I asked what do you mean I don't want to control you nor can I control you.
WW replied you want to make me love you I told her I can't make her do anything. I did try to to tell her that over time things can change feelings can come back and she gets mad and tells me Im making her angry. she is getting herself angry and she doesn't want to see me or be with her when she is with DD. Its like she is in plan B.

What do I do now. Im confussed.

I don't have much to report today except she attempted to put the guilt trip on me by asking me to get DD and when I told her I was attending my brothers MIL viewing who passed away, WW said she will attend it with me. I told WW I had to take my suit in to get cleaned and WW said ok. WW called me back ten mins later and tried to argue with me about how selfish I am and its all about me, b/c she wanted to go get her nails done. WW then told me FU Im not going I said ok and then started to argue with DD b/c DD was pulling on her shirt. WW became irritated and hung up on me.

I went to the funeral home and WW text me telling me she is at her mothers and to call her when I leave. About 20mins later she text me I would like to get to the gym tonight. I ignored the text. 20 mins later she text me its to late for me to get DD and she is going to take her. Mind you this was 5:30pm.

I left the funeral home at 5:55pm and I called WW who then began her drama about how I dont want DD and she has her all the time. I cant understand her fog talk I have DD on the average 3-4 days a week and these 2 past weeks 4 nights each. WW continued with her babble that she is taking DD and why is DD only an obligation to me. I replied she has never been an obligation she was a concsious choice that we both made to have her even to the point of me saying we even tried 2 more times to have another child which we lost them both in mis carriages.WW said are you done I said no and WW continued to listen to me. WW continued with her babble about me not getting her tonight and when I asked where she was at she told me im on my way to my apt. WW then told DD to get her jacket. I asked I thought your on the way to your apt. WW replied I didnt say that but she did say it. I told her im on the way to her mothers to get DD. WW said no I don't want you over here. I replied im picking her up. WW continued to play her guilt game and I simply told her don't try to guilt me b/c it doesn't work anymore. WW then said DD has a cold and you can't give her any cough med until she goes to bed. I asked her what did you just say and she repeated it again. I said so im getting her then and she said yes. I said why the sudden change of mind. Guess what she said NOTHING. WW then said never mind I will just take her.

I walked into MIL house and DD ws playing I went right to DD and gave her a kiss and hug. WW come into the room and doesn't say anything to me and then tells me a few funny stories about DD. FIL is re doing the living room painting. I told him if he needs help to call me and MIL says yes we will b/c I don't like painting.

I walk out with DD and WW follows me out and on the way out I again told them to call me if they need help. WW tells me why so you can tell my Dad Im involved with a married man sarcastically. I ignored it. I told WW you and DD are my priorty and always have been. WW replies don't talk like that infront of DD. I replied I can talk positive infront of DD and I told DD what im saying is ok. I cant believe she had the odasity to say that. However WW will swear and yell infront of DD. I never lost my cool as a matter of fact during the whole phone and in person conversation I was awesome. I even was upbeat in front of in laws.

WW then left and about 5 mis later she called me and said do you see how you focused on me and not DD. I told her you where in the other room and I immediately focused on DD.

Im starting to think WW is telling me she is an obligation to her and a burden and that is why she reflects her anger towards me.

Any advice would be great. Im tired of her games she needs to grow up.

I think it is time to set up a visatation schedule. If you have things written down then whe can't push you when ever she has a whim to go out and do something. It is like she just uses you to get her frustrations out. She is really full of babble. Isn't she?

Realtor the babble never seems to end, I have to laugh to myself sometimes when she goes off on these guilt trips. Her guilt and anger is starting to fall on deaf ears. I hope she wakes up some day. I do love her still very much because I know my W is in that WS somewhere. I just need to some how lead her out. Not sure on how, I do continue to plan A her by being nice etc... but she has made it clear by not calling me anymore and the contact has gotten less. When she does talk to me its when am I taking DD next. I usually tell her I will take her everday if she wants. I have tried a million times to put a schedule into play but she wants to always change it. I will take DD as much as possible it helps build my case. She is more concerned with herself.

We have court tomorrow it is a motion I filed after she served me with D papers. On child support. and custody.
we will see what happens. She continues to tell me she has the best lawyer in town b/c he is marshall Mathers personal attorney MM. Like I really care.

It will really hit home with her when you do have a schedule-she wants to be single and yet have the daughter. However whenever she wants to do something she wants you. I think if she did not have you so availabe to her that it would hit her what being a single parent is truely like. It is alot of work.

Realtor your right she wants to be single and have DD at her convience. When i set up scheduling she has no problem until she has DD for a couple of days and guess who she tries to guilt to take her me. My only problem is her distorted mind by saying I never have her. I did a 180 on her one time by not immediately taking DD after school and she blew a gasket by her saying im selfish and its all about me. I get so tired of hearing these words. I will take DD every minute I can get my hands on her. Like I said this was a choice for the both of us not an obligation. I love my Daughter and want to be with her everyday.

See WW wants physical custody with joint, meaning she wants DD to have her address and to be a part time Mother. This is total control just to say she is the better parent.

I want DD everyday not for control but to be the best father in the world. WW told me this joint custody is a strain on DD and sucks and she needs to be with only one parent. What nonsense. I told WW how about she is with both parents in a great M. WW said yes that is the best idea but I can't with you. This WW has never tried to work on anything and yes I heard those foggy babbling words I would of reconcilled if you wouldn't of acted like a jerk referring to exposure. This WW once told me two weeks ago yes maybe I could get emotionall feelings back for you but not physicall. I thought those two in that order go hand and hand. Maybe it is shame of what she has done and feels like she can't face me again in that way. I have reassured her many times we can get through this. WW has no idea on how strong I am.

So I want to take DD everytime she ask so I can build my case for custody. Fathers seem to always get burned in this. My wife walked out not me I even told her she couldn't take DD if she wanted to move out but she grabbed her from me and i wasn't going to go that rought infront of DD. One day she will arise from her fog and it will probably be to late.

FM,

Sorry about the latest turns in your sitch. I hope you have been documenting everything.

You need to get yourself prepared mentally for Plan B, and you also need to get a Plan B letter ready so we can vet it for you.

Good luck in court tomorrow.

Tomorrow is are first court hearing. I sure hope god is on my side. I can only pray that I stay strong. I really don't want to go but. I will keep my head up high and walk through this mess. God help me.

I just came back from court. This was a motion to stop child support and custody. We both have joint physical legal custody.

WW told the court she has DD 60% of the time while have 40% which is not true. When i was asked I said I have her 3-4 nights a week so they granted her 4 nights and me 3 nights. I will have to pay some child support.

We have a friend of the court hearing Feb 7. I know we wher granted the joint physical custody but when asked to continue she contested and the temporary order stands on joint physical legal custody.

I feel like I have not gained a thing and Im having a very difficult time with this. WW can have infedelity leave the marrietal home and still come out ahead. Where is this the justice.

I saw her in court and she looked beatiful. I wanted to hug her and tell her i love her. How much pain must I endevore before it gets better, b/c it seems like it never will. I kept my head high but I was dying inside. I feel like i have hit rock bottom and she never will see the light. I don't even want to talk right now. I feel like crawling under a rock.

WW was at court with her support group her GF that works for the law firm and all her attorney friends. I felt so alone. What happen to my wife who loved me so darley and I was the only thing she ever dreamed of and talked about to her friends and family. What went wrong. She is never going to come around. I need to be alone for awhile. I can't even comprehend what just happened. I know I will surrvive but I just don't know what to do and how. Its like she wants to see me in this pain. When does the ride stop.

When you get off the ride. Do you have a lawyer? Where was your help in court?

Now listen you have your visitation right. stick to it. Let her see how single motherhood really is. Of course take your DD -I told you to keep proof of how often you have DD. Did you not show this proof in court?? Get a calender and post it with times ect. This really helps. Why did you not tell the judge that you wanted to save this M?

OK maybe time for Plan B. Read up on it.

Sorry things did not go your way.

This was a motion only that i had to respond in 14 days. It didnt go to bad. See I know I will have DD more than 3 days a week and I have been documenting everything since octtober.

The next hearing is when I bring my ammo and documentation. I really think WW has not kept a record of any days she has had DD. They came up with a 60 to 40 % ratio which does not reflect what i have logged.


I told my attorney and he told me this is just a temporary thing and continue to document. See Michigan is pretty one sided when it comes to child custody. If you have your child 156 days out of the year CS is reduced greately. WW has told me several times she doesn't want CS but she must be listening to her attorney.

The sad part of this is she can walk away from the M have infidelity and still get her way some what. It isn't fear and these laws in no fault states have to be changed.

I want my DD everyday in my life and now a court gets to decide. How is this any justice it makes me look even harder at this so called justice system. I know i still have time and game plan to get more dirt so to speak on WW.

I still love this WW very much and I will fight to the very end for this M. My lawyer is going to make it very clear I want to save this M. They used my job against me because I do work some afternoon hours and i can be called in at anytime, however this very rarely ever happens and this could happen to her if ther is a mobolization. Plus her job assignment is more dangerous than mine. She is on the street and I do executive protection.

All is not lost I still have joint physicall legal custody of DD plus I get 3 days a week with her. I over heard some guy only getting to see his kids 6 days a month.

I will continue to plan A until Feb 7 b/c that is our friend of the court hearing for DD when we present evidence.

I can only pray that her heart softens and opens up.

Thanks for the advice. I will be preparing my plan B letter soon.

FG,

Sorry I been away for so long. Only had time to occasionally check out a few threads.

I'm very glad that you kept documenting. I mentioned a long time ago that it would be important. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Remember that a couple of court setbacks could have a dramatic effect on WW. The previous one was in her favor; but the battle has just begun. Then next one, when you bring out your guns, will go very differently for her.

The shock my blow the fog away for a bit and you will likely be able to speak to your W for a bit then.

Like you stated, keep up the plan A for now.

BTW: Help the FIL with the painting. It will help all of you (You, FIL, & DD)now and for some time to come. It's the little things that keep relationships strong. Besides you may learn something useful.

Stay Strong!