Hi FM,

Things did not seem to go too bad for you today. Just get the information on the A so that your lawyer can show that your WW neglected DD so she could pursue her A. The court will not like that, but it is up to you to find that information. But you don’t seem too motivated to get that information. You need that information to have a chance for custody.

As I see that your love bank is running low, get ready to start Plan B as soon as the February 7th hearing is over. It would be good if you were able to give your WW the Plan B letter then and follow through on the spot. Plan B will give her a big dose of reality and will really rock her world.

Lastly, have your attorney formalize a custody schedule between WW and you. You need to have a fix schedule if you are to do a successful Plan B. This is a priority and should be work on ASAP. In fact start talking to WW about it. But make sure that in the hearing the court, with the prodding of your attorney, set up a set schedule for you two.

I have searched hard for this A and i can't seem to find anything. WW has her own phone and email accounts and i don't know the passwords. I could change them because I do know her personnal info, but I don't know how a court will take that. I have checked on her many times and i just can't seem to find anything. I think this last guy who was married was a one time thing. before we met she has went out with 3 other married men and when i asked her why married men she told me there is no attachment. So I found out about it and she probably ended it.

I did have talk with her yesterday which was forced so to speak by me. She did have some things to say like all im worried about is OM and why what am I afraid of. WW asked are you afraid another man will treat me better and said your my wife and you shouldn't be with another man. WW also said what was she to do when she was telling me she was falling out of love yes I missed the signals she used alot of deamining judgment and during arguments that I just couldn't understand at that time. When she asked me this and said she had to get attention from om and I asked her was that the right thing to do she said no. WW then immediately stops the conversation. WW also said she has never had any time to think about what she really wants b/c i was still around. I was still in the picture b/c i knew she was involved. again she immediately stops the conversation. Its seems to me she knows the diffrence between right and wrong and has a hard time wanting to talk about it. I told her she can stop this D and I can stop R talk. I told her action is louder than words. WW always has the last word. I only wish she could feel the pain i have gone through I know her pain is great also and she reverts to me being the selfish one. I made mistakes and I have confessed to them and taken full responsibility for them. My biggest problem is getting her to open up. WW does it for a few statments and shuts down. I have to just let her go no matter how much it hurts me.

Nice to see that you are back. I am glad things are better for you.

God Bless.

I just wanted to say Im back.

I have alot on my plate right now. My WW has stopped the D and wants to focus on the present and the future. WW does not want to talk about the past at all, She even says she's fine. Hello what about the pain i have gone through. I don't want details just WHY it happened.

WW wants to go to school and Im her cheerleader but isnt this going to cause more stress for the both of us and DD.
WW works full time and is going to be taking 3 classes so we are not going to have time for one another.

WW is really withdrawn from me we don't kiss, hug and sf is not even spoke of. is this normal I have not had sf since last august and yes im losing my mind.

WW wants to sell our home and buy another one. MY WW has never liked this house. I need some advice.

When do we talk about the R and when I try to talk about it I just get told "can't you be normal are you mental" What the heck is she talking about. WW then says we have to be friends and she is right. Im constantly making attempst to hug and kiss her and she does do a half a$$ hug and she turns her head. WW will walk around naked infront of me and when I look she will giggle and then cover herself up like I ve never seen her naked and when I tell her she has been naked many times in the past she says that was then Im not comfortable. But she wants everything her way. WW wants a new home and wants me to fix up some minor things with the current home so we can get it on the market and that will be one less stress for her.

I need some help and advice. Where do I go from here, I know no LB and I must deposit everything I can into her love bank. I am but she is constantly tired when she gets home from work. When I come up with ideas they get shot down.

I told her we have to communicate better and create an environment that will be safe to do so even if it hurts. WW agrees but when she DJ me and I tell her about the environment wasn't safe for me she the DJ some more and says did you learn that from a book or your website and she thinks its stupid...

any thoughts would be great.

Exactly. It does not seem that your WW cares much about you right now, so not much has changed. You are there to make her life easier, that’s it. In other words she is cake eating without having an OM, if she is indeed not cheating.

So NO, you do not make any new major investment until WW has shown that she cares about your M and not just herself. So no home buying for the moment. Please use your brain here, and not let your hope guide your actions especially when the evidence suggests a very bleak future for you too.

You two need MC. Obviously, your M will not heal if things persist as they are. Your WW does not get it…yet. So until then you should not be under the illusion that you are in recovery. I suggest you call the Harleys or some other M experts ASAP.