My Husband's Former MOW did the same thing, DCF!! She told my husband all these lies, she told him I entered a boob contest and had sex with a woman on the stage, she told him that I had a boyfriend, that I was a lesbian, all this crap, before I even found out about their affair! After I found out, she told me in front of my husband and in front of her husband, that she and my husband had been having sex throughout my 20-year marriage, times when I know for sure he was being faithful.

She's a desparate psychotic piece of trash, and will stoop to any level to make trouble for our marriage. This is why my husband hates her now, and this is actually good that your wife can see what a conniving low-life this man is, thank God it didn't go any further than it did.

Get the restraining order. Report the harassing calls. After we reported the harassment, and changed our cellphone numbers the bit** backed off. I keep forgetting to tell you: CHANGE YOUR WIFE's CELL NUMBER!! The Cell company will waive the fee if you tell them that you have filed a police report because of harassment.

Swords

DCF-

Sounds to me like your wife did EXACTLY the right thing...and it's awesome how he's painting himself out to be such a jerk in her eyes now...precisely the kind of thing that you WANT him to do. It's going to have her asking herself "what in the world was I thinking???" in no time. He's doing a great job of making himself all the more UNattractive to her...while at the same time your mature, calm way of handling this seems to be having the effect you want as well. Keep up the good work man!

Have her follow up with the RO if he does keep calling...and be prepared to threaten/take legal action to get rid of him if you need to.

Again, great job man. You've done a good job and have had the good fortune of having someone reveal what was going on early enough that you have been able to quickly affect a turn around in the situation...this is MUCH better than most of us come here with!

DC,

So now it is YOU and HER against bandguy!

Eggzaktly where you want it to be.

WELL DONE on many levels.

And that is soooo cool about the VP and referring you to this site. Did you tell him you were here already?

k

Yeah the VP knows I'm here and he agrees that this is a great site for information and helping marriages get through this type of thing.

My wife is very disgusted by this guy right now and creeped out. He hasn't called anymore today. My wife did threaten him with an RO. I think maybe that might have done the trick. Mr. Smoothe he is not. I am pleased with the outcome. Tonight I gave her a relaxing massage and told her 100 things that I love about her. Let me tell you when you feel everything is in jeopardy it is easy to come up with those 100 things, but when you feel comfortable it's not. Thats so odd. I love her to death and ever since this I'm reminded not to take her for granted. She actually did something for me that I didn't think in a million she would. She made a scrapbook of all my past achievements and our family vacations, births, milestones, and things that I had gotten her on her anniversary and other things. She gave that to me tonight and told me how sorry she was and she cried and I held her. Funny thing is I am not mad at my wife for this. I feel hurt, betrayed, and really scared that she could do it again. Does that ever end?

Just thinking about you DCF.



I'm not really sure if it ever goes away completely. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> I know that with time and trust the question will be asked fewer and fewer times.

I try to look at the question from the other side. I know that as long as I am questioning, that I am not too complacient, and willing to work on things to ensure that she will not ever feel taken for granted again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

BTW: Say high to Tranquill for us all!

DC,

Two things you need to address right now:



Why haven't you purchased new cell phones.Enough with the exchanges and turning off and on.It's BS.Get new phones.



While it's a good idea that she let you listen in on the call,it was the wrong action.She should not be calling this slime, EVER.Even if it's to tell him off.Every time there is contact it sets you both back,even if it's only for the "drama".You both have to understand this and come to an agreement NEVER to contact OM again.Can you do that?

*Mean what you say.If this creep contacts either one of you again,seek an RO.Don't keep giving him chances.He will be taught that it is ok and keep on doing it.If he's the type to keep escalating the situation you have to make it known you mean business,serious business.

O

DCF,
This may sound silly, but I'm just wondering how you refer to OM when you and your wife discuss him. I only ask because you refer to him as "band guy" or "band boy" here. They guy I had an affair with was also in a band.. and that was a big part of the allure. Sounds like your wife is prettey disgusted whith him right now, which is good. But you might not want to refer to him in any way that will remind her or what attracted her to him in the first place. Just a thought.
--SC