Sigh. Excellent.

But if she did, I bet it scared her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

If I have to look over my shoulder all the time, so should she.

Neak - You're getting famous. One of the posters here on the emotional board is talking about your "talents".

And believe me, it's not your singing, cooking, or writing.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Did you hear my jaw hit the floor?

I thought and thought, but really, that list leaves out only one thing...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />






Psst.............where do I find the post?

Never mind it, I found it.

Lots and lots of practice?????

Bwaaahaaaahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what they say: If at first you don't succeed, try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try again.

Then the next day...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> I'm not really her mother! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> I was just pretending. Yes, I was! All this time, too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Well, Neak, they say no publicity is bad publicity. Sure hope they're right! Kind of an unexpected fame for the virginal bride of a few years ago, isn't it? Maybe we can add it to the back cover blurb of your next book! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Whoever was feeling bad, shouldn't. Neak is way more imaginative, uninhibited, to say nothing of limber and acrobatic, than I ever dreamed of being. Not all of us can be pretzels, you know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Actually, I think that's in the Proverbs31 description of a good woman. Let me check it out.

Odd. I don't remember the word "pretzel" being in the Bible anywhere at all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> It must've lost something in the translation! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I believe I can shed some light on the subject.

Verse 13: She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

Verse 17: She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

And if a woman expends great effort to be a really super noble wife, the following blessing from Verse 31 will come true:

Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Who'd've ever thought which of my works would make it as a subject of conversation at the city gate? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

To give you some idea of how far we've come over the years, let me tell you about our wedding night.

I went into our walk-in closet to put on the pretty nightie Mom had given me for the occasion. I was nearly ready, but AJ got impatient and fetched me out before I was quite perfect.

We lived in a little upstairs studio apartment, and our bed was this ugly green couch that folded open to sleep on, and we had put a mattress on top of that to make it more comfortable.

It was all very fast, straight missionary position, and someone (not me) was done very quickly, and fell immediately asleep.

I got up quietly and ate our wedding supper alone, and mildly frustrated.

My only thought was, "Well, that was nice, but is that it?"

Of all the frank, even intimate, things this stupid family has posted on this board, I almost think this is the piece de resistance. Better keep him off your thread till this unflattering confidence fades back a few pages or so! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Not your average guy's favorite anecdotal reputation--he was fast, and there wasn't much to it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I realize he has apparently atoned <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> over the years, but still...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I'll help it disappear.

I'll bury it in a flood of words.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I actually intended to do a cute little treatise on exposure today, rather than my oopsidental adventure.

Moving this on down the page.

Of course with all the "practicing", I hope things have improved.

Hey I saw a little kid at the store today who reminded me of the Dervish. He was "helping" his mom, and in the middle of it he said very loudly "Knock it off you two!" Trouble was, it was only him.