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Had some interesting convos today that reminded me of a few things. I don't think I had put this on here, and I'll say it again even if I did. It is a little scary not knowing for sure, but I'm too lazy to check. It always feels like when Grandma told the same stories over and over. "I don't know if I've ever told you this before, but..." "Yes, Grandma, you have. Twice. Today." Ok, I'm not that bad yet.

This was on PBL2 day, when Gargy showed up at the install site, and I went down to confront AJ. In the long discussion we had when he got home, one thing he said has stuck with me. (Well, more than one thing, but I've told you most of them.) Anyway, he said, "I realized that when you came down there today, it was because you love me."

It must have been another of those aha moments. He never said, but I don't think I'm wrong in guessing that he had been hearing quite a lot about my 'manipulations' and such. I know she worked very hard to foment his discontent with reporting to me all the time, and did what she could to encourage the disgruntled parolee attitude.

She would have had only a few seconds in that very brief phone call, you know, the one saying EEEK DON'T COME SHE'S HERE!!!!!!!!!, but surely enough time to throw in, "I can't believe she's at it again - how long are you going to put up with this from her?" Or something similar.

And yet, once he thought about it, AJ was able to see for himself that my record of loving care stood alone, and untouched despite her every effort to tarnish it. And he saw that in coming to confront him for his deceptions and continuing betrayal, it was another manifestation of that love. (He also saw pretty plainly that it was the last such manifestation unless he made some rapid, huge changes, which he did.)

Not that my months of work didn't matter at all until then, but in that instant they came into sharp focus, and he saw me and my efforts for exactly what they were. He also saw the mud-slinging pot-stirrer for what she was, and the contrast was stunning to him.

Just for the record, it is not too hard to compete with an unrepentant OP. You just have to be patient till the WS 'get it', and of course a few never do.

The clothes ought to be dry by now, so I'm going to grab them and go to bed. Today was another good day, and there seem to be more of those lately.

Once again, congratulations to Shattered, who is opening reconciliation talks with her WH, who is getting tired of being a WH. That kind of good news is always welcome in a place like this.

Sweet dreams, all.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Oh, I see I need to extend the same congratulations to losttranslation as well. Good work!

Back to your sweet dreams now.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Oh, I see I need to extend the same congratulations to losttranslation as well. Good work!

Back to your sweet dreams now.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)


Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
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This is going to look like terrible jealousy now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Kind of what Mr. Finley does to Neaksis every time the hated Princess Anika tries to nuzzle her new owner. Things like leaping, pushing, shoving, and dancing, trying to keep Neaksis' attention focused on him.

AJ is in Berkely right now, helping Neakbro move the last of the stuff out of his apartment. They were kind enough to ask, but there wasn't much of a choice about whether my brother could bring his couch here. So I reluctantly said yes.

I don't care so much what it does to my furniture arranging, since I probably won't be here that much longer anyway, but it bothers me a little that she likely sat on it.

I have never been to my brother's apartment, but he could take her there. (Dectable note of bitterness in tone.) And unless she stood by the doorway, she had to sit somewhere, and there was not much furniture in that little dinky apartment.

But I am just venting, hopefully to get it all out of my system before they get home. Because I am fully aware that if it continues to bother me, all I have to do is ask him to move it out after all, and I would have no problem doing that. I just didn't expect to have a reaction to something silly like someone else's couch. (I had no trouble at all understanding why I didn't want that blasted futon she bought for the office.)

Things have been going well, and there hasn't been much new to tell, though today I found out that one of our pre-A problems that I thought was long-gone and forgotten, isn't. Don't have any idea what to do, maybe nothing can be done at all. It's just discouraging to find out that it's still there.

To avoid being too too depressing if I can can, here is a blonde joke one of my friends sent me:

A Blonde's year in review:

> January - took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

> February - fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"... bottles won't fit in typewriter.

> March - got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said..."2-4 years"!

> April - trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!

> May - tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit those little packets!!!

> June - tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.

> July - lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.

> August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down.

> September - the capital of California is "C"...isn't it?

> October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.

> November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions say 1 hour per pound... I weigh 108!!!

> December - couldn't call 911.."duh"... there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

> What a year!!!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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A Blonde's year in review:

> January - took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

> February - fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"... bottles won't fit in typewriter.

> March - got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said..."2-4 years"!

> April - trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!

> May - tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit those little packets!!!

> June - tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.

> July - lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.

> August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down.

> September - the capital of California is "C"...isn't it?

> October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.

> November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions say 1 hour per pound... I weigh 108!!!

> December - couldn't call 911.."duh"... there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

> What a year!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Do you know what's brown, red & lying in a ditch???

A Brunette that's told one too many blonde jokes!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good Luck with the couch!

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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LOLOLOL!!! Thanks, Mrs. W.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Slipcovers? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> LOL!


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Well I have a smart blond joke:

This blond walks into a bank in NYC and asks for a $5000 loan so she can take a business trip to Europe. She promises to pay it back when she returns in 3 weeks.

After a credit check clears her, the bank manager asks her for collateral. She asks if her Rolls Royce parked out front will do. The manager offers her a ride to the airport and they'll store the car in their parking lot for the 3 weeks. She agrees.

When she returns, the bank manager approaches her and states that he found out she has millions sitting in accounts everywhere, so why did she need a loan to pay for this trip?

She responds as she pays the $5,000 plus $150 interest...

Where else can I park my car in NYC for 3 weeks?


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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2 blondes are standing on opposite sides of a river. The first one calls to the second and says, "Tell me how to get to the other side of this river."

And the second one calls back, "You are on the other side!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

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I'm still laughing about brownandredandlyinginaditch! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

There's always my old favorite, How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Wave...

How many blondes does it take to play tag? One.

Did you hear about the blonde coyote that got stuck in a trap? It chewed off three legs, and it was still stuck.

I'd better stop before that ditch gets any closer.

Neaksis said she was going to report me to CPS - Couch Protective Services. And that was before it started to rain. Well, I wasn't the one who did it. I even helped move it into the garage before it got too badly soaked. (And then went and washed my hands.) Fortunately, I mean, um, it was so sad that my brother's cats had made it so that even though he cleaned it, it still needs to air out for oh, a couple of months or so before it comes inside. Shucks.

The other day I was talking to a friend whose WH uses her A as his excuse for his A. "You started it!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> When I mentioned this to AJ, he couldn't believe that anybody would give such a lame excuse, and cast around blame in that manner.

As gently as I possibly could, I pointed out that he had been even worse, blaming me every time Gargamel cried or was upset. He looked skeptical, so I mentioned one of the specific instances. (This was on the way back from the 2nd trip to Carson City, where we had all the kids, and he was going to break up with her that night when we got back, but she must have sensed this and kept leaving him all kinds of weepy, whiny messages.) He told me, very angrily, "She's up there crying and upset, and it's all because of YOU!!!!!"

He seemed rather surprised, but I clearly believed what I was saying, and remembered it just fine. He was falling asleep anyway, so nothing could have been more natural than for the conversation to trail away as he began to snore.

It was quite funny, because he knows I won't lie, and yet he couldn't believe he had said that.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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This is the approximate 1 yr mark since he first said he was leaving. Has it really been that long?


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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For any of you who needed a smile today....... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


You know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.



It's all true, every word of it!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Today was not so bad, as trigger days go. Especially since this is my first known(ish) 1 yr anniversary. What with the kids' class, a dr.'s appt (no more pelvic rest, but AJ fell asleep cuz he has to wake up @ 3am <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />), and several long errands, there wasn't too much time for even a small pity party.

One good thing about today is that I went by & found out that they got Dillon's headstone installed. I felt so much better when I saw it, as if he was finally tucked in properly.

My purse spent 2 nights in the car, & today when I opened it, a mouse had gotten in through a tiny hole - it was made that way, not chewed - and eaten the kids' candy from their favorite Safeway manager. Guess why he's their favorite? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> You know it's bad when you have to put mousetraps in the car.

Also, since she probably won't mention it, Mom's birthday is the 21st. She'll be 62. Maybe the little scraps of confetti all over the floor, left over from excessive scissor use, is from what the kids are giving her for a present. Either that, or it's one more reason why vacuums are a woman's best friend.

Ok, ok, before I get killed plumb dead, Mom is actually going to be 58. In case anyone doesn't feel like doing the math, she was born in 1948. And in case she doesn't feel old enough already, her oldest daughter is thirty-three!!!!! LOLOLOLO---



<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Gulp. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Anyhoo...................................................

I'm going to put the frozen food away and go to bed. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.

I need to remember that. I will remind myself often.

The part about tomorrow, not the frozen food.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Since I don't have time to be philosophical, I am just putting a shout out to all my buddies. How are you doing??? What's up? Do you need to vent? Let me know how you are.

Hugs to all, and sweet dreams.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Well, I'm still thinking of you all, anyway. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Mom said she wished I could have had the above-referenced story ("It's all your fault the OW is crying") on tape so I could play it back to him. The big problem is it would also play back me, also crying, and saying things like, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for her to get hurt," and other equally nauseating blame hogging.

I was not born wearing the Red Cape of Power, you know. I had to learn how to use it just like everyone else, and maybe even slower than some.

Today, the mail contained a notice that Gargamel has sent me a certified letter, which I don't know if I should return unopened, or just forward on to Mom, poor Mom, or the attorney, poor attorney. (If she causes too much trouble, I would not blame him a bit if he started charging extra just for her.)

Any thoughts are welcome, but the main reaons I mention this is that I had not even realized how much progress I have made in reclaiming my daily thoughts, until the reminder of her malignant presence once again smacked me in the face. At least she got the 'r' in Mrs. this time, if the postal worker copied the name correctly.

Although I thought I was perfectly calm and cool, AJ immediately asked me what was wrong, so either I was excessively transparent, or he is actually in tune with my feelings. Or some of each.

I just can't believe how much I healed once I no longer had all the nasty C and so many reminders of her existence, and it is disconcerting to have some of that torn open again by a little piece of brown paper in my mailbox.

But I think it will re-heal more quickly, too. I did not feel resentment toward AJ for this, as would normally happen, and even if I was obviously startled by it, I went on about my life. Just before he nodded off to sleep, he pulled me close and said, "I love you so much, my wife." That alone helped a lot.

And soon will come the happy day when she sends something here and it will return to her again stamped, "RETURN TO SENDER: NOT AT THIS ADDRESS". Even if she finds us later, that thought should be enough for a few grins.

So that's my big day.

Please say a prayer for a friend of the MB board, who is planning to enter the peace of B tomorrow. Of course she is terrified, and assailed by doubts, have I done enough, have I changed enough, what if I should do more, etc. But she is losing love for her WH & knows it must be done quickly.

Hopefully she will soon be free to come back on here herself.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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or just forward on to Mom, poor Mom, or the attorney, poor attorney.

ME????????????????????????? What have you got against me? What did I ever do to you?

Besides that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Send it to the attorney. I'll pay for him to deal with it if he charges extra. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Hey, did you know if you leave the "r" out of her MB name (kind of like she left the "r" out of "Mrs."), that she becomes "Gagamel"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

t&l

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LOLOL! And you chide me when I am naughty!

Do you realize that if you leave the 'r' out of her real name it doesn't change it at all?!?!?


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Why? Because there isn't an "r" in it?

t&l

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Except that her middle name would be Katheine. Oh well.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Katheine.

Katheine, huh? No wonder you were nervous and twitchy. Glad to know you've switched to de-Kath. And not a moment too soon, either. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I'm going to play Text Twist for a little while and then go to bed. You need to be getting your stuff ready to mail out tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

t&l

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