Thought I would chime in here with some advice. There is a delicate balance between the two above questions/statements. On the one hand you want to be super romantic and surprise her with an over the top meal whereas you fear it may be contrived appearing and illicit the wrong result.
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You are right to consider both and pose this question. In my opinion you are likely to be disappointed with your elegant romantic dinner with gifts, wine and flowers. A WW in withdrawal may not show up in a good mood (if she shows up at all...WW have lousy time management skills) and the extra effort is likely to illicit a guilty response. She will either feel undeserving of the effort, feel the effort is an attempt to make her feel guilty and/or feel the effort comes with "romantic" sexual strings attached which she may or may not be in the mood for.
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However, you want to Plan A her and show her you are a new man/husband. You can not do this with one meal. You need to be consistent. You also want to be true to who you are. Your wife wants you to act and behave the way you did when she first fell in love with you a long time ago. Thus, if you went over the top at the beginning of your relationship then so be it. But if this dinner you’re planning is so unique to you and her from you it WILL feel contrived. Don’t try to be something you’re not.
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What to do? I would suggest you go overboard with some small details. I will list some ideas below. Be advised, unnoticeable details allow you to gauge the situation and disclose accordingly. You don’t want her to nor should she be able to notice all the details immediately and be overwhelmed. If she is not receptive to a romantic meal you get to keep it light and nice. Trust me, you will still get mileage out of the effort but only later in recovery as you can disclose what you did then. If she is not receptive you must maintain your composure and not appear disappointed. Plan A does not include making her feel guilty for missing, discounting or minimizing your efforts at change.
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My suggestions:
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If you normally just purchase grocery store Salmon, this time go to the best fish market in town and get fresh Salmon and some Peel and Eat Shrimp for an appetizer. (I recommend cold appetizers because like I said WW's have terrible time management skills and she may be late or just not hungry...you can keep the shrimp or a salad in the refrigerator for the next day and it will be just as good.)
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If you normally purchase Express Store flowers this time find a higher end floral shop. Some even have signature flowers unique to your area. Place them on the table; but, do not comment on their uniqueness unless the conversation goes that way. If appropriate comment how their uniqueness relates to your current situation. If she is not receptive to the whole romantic overtures do not indicate they are anything more than grocery store flowers. After a few days take the flowers and hang them upside down to dry them or have one preserved by the floral shop. You can present them or it later in recovery and describe their uniqueness and significance (i.e.-the beginning of your recovery) and get mileage from the extra $$$’s at that time.
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Purchase a tray and new candles. Maybe even floating candles…Keep the candles out of sight so she will not see them immediately and become overwhelmed with your "contrived" effort or just otherwise hesitant to participate in a romantic meal. When and IF appropriate ask her if she would like you to light a candle or two. Then you can pull out the new items you purchased and impress her. If she is not receptive, again, save it for another day.
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If you serve chips and salsa, go to her favorite Mexican Restaurant and purchase their salsa. Again, no comment unless appropriate.
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A gift. Say a fine expensive small bottle of perfume. You do not want some big item. The gift should not be addressed until after dinner and only if the evening has not been a disaster. You can indicate you got her a gift and ask her if now would be a nice time to present it. Tell her you do not want to overwhelm her and that it can wait if she feels you have already done too much. Her curiosity should get the best of her and SHE WILL ASK FOR IT. If the timing is not right save the gift for another day but you will get to tell her someday that you had it that night so do not get discouraged.
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Same thing with the wine. Get a nicer than usual bottle and go to a wine shop and learn some details about the vintage and the winery. Disclose if appropriate. Also, save and date the cork. Keep it as a memento of your initial forray into recovery. Let her see or find you are saving "relationship" items later.
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I hope these ideas help. Your wife's behavior and responses are way off kilter now so you need to be prepared to just let it go if things do not go as planned. If you do too much and build up your expectations to high you are likely to get discouraged and throw out some love busters. Be prepared for the best night and flexible enough to go with the flow.