Hi MWIL,
Just checking in with you.
Has WW cut ontact w/ OM yet? Have you talked to her about NC letter yet?....I guess it could be a little early for that. How's things?

Things are progressing "cautiously" on both ends. We have discussed some pretty deep topics concerning OM and her and the ending of it. She proclaims that she has "nothing" for him, because he is "unstable". Then fog comes back a little and she says: "But he isn't a bad guy"

Then we discussed the fact that we need absolute honesty about everything...total transparency....she wholeheartedly agreed....and she showed me the email she sent him a few weeks ago. It reads just as though I could have written it:

Paraphrasing: "We were never supposed to happen. I am going back to work on my marriage and fix my family, that was messed up by "us". Please don't attempt to call me, email me, or see me."

Thoughts?

I'll post more later.
MWIL

Sounds very much like a NC letter to me. She is taking accountability for her actions and that is extremely positive. The fact that she did it on her own speaks volumes about her intent.

Mr. Lighthouse/mwil

You've done a tremendous job attracting her back. Again, she has a long journey in front of her that she'll take in steps. She's already ahead of the curve processing some of this on her own. I am very encouraged. Don't get distracted away from continually focusing and working on yourself. Enjoy life. Be the best you can be and she'll follow you. You are the leader. Discuss your issue and partner up with her and she'll reciprocate.

Have patience and keep intermixing fun.

Good luck,
Mr. Wondering

*If you didn't buy that cologne a few weeks ago ("Seduce your Wife"), take your wife "fragrance" shopping. You each help each other pick out a cologne/perfume you each like. Mix other things up to. If you were a regular boxer guy before switch to boxer briefs. If you never shopped with her before take her shopping. Find a new hobby you'd both enjoy...plan it out with her and look for the gear/equipment together.

Thanks, Hope and Mr. W.

Yes, so far very encouraged...and she even said: "I have a good feeling about "us" for the future." "I know what must be done, and I want us to be able to "help" each other."

Yes, they are words.....but every action for the last few weeks has been very positive.

I continue to Plan A....along with my new found self confidence...that seems to be attracting her.

But I am STILL. And patient, and cautious....this will get done the RIGHT way!!!!!

MWIL

I don't know MWIL....I'm starting to like your (F)WW more everyday. The fact that she did a NC on her own is remarkable. Be optimistically cautious, you are doing a great job. Be sure to keep us posted...it gives encouragement and besides I'm a sucker for a happy ending!

MWIL,

Things are looking great. I especially like the fact that WW took the initiative to tell OM not to contact her. You have to make sure that NC is established for life. WW needs to understand this…when the time is right. For now, take it slow and keep being attractive to her.

Your sitch is going as well as it possibly could. You’ve done and are doing a great job.
I am very proud of you.

Yeah, well, I still see some "fogginess" from time to time. Nothing really bad, but an occasional reference to some of the things I did a few weeks after D-Day. I just let it go. No response, no justifing. But then I steer the conversation to other more "pleasant" things, and she seems to snap out of it.

This will be a long journey for sure.
MWIL

MWIL....she sent NC letter but has she maintained it?

actions my friend...actions....

She has called me everytime, on her own, when there ever could be contact....I never mentioned it to her....she WANTS to talk to me constantly...about everything and anything!! We are spending a lot of time together, and her actions during that time have been, for the most part, flawless!!! She has her occasional "fog" moments, but 98% of the time is remorseful, and appreciative of me.

I'm treating this as though my FWW has other motives....IOW, very very cautiously!!! Like maybe she might be doing this to "save face"...or really out there and thinking she is doing this to come back and then get a better settlement.

There is NO reason to believe those things are happening...but I NEED to continue to protect myself and my emotions for awhile. I WILL NOT jump into this like everything is just going to fall into place perfectly. It may slow recovery,....but it's an insurance policy that I need in place right now. But things are going almost as good as I would have ever expected them....just part of MY recovery in this relationship. And as Mr. W has stated, I will continue to do things that will improve me...I'm under no illusions thinking that things will be consistantly this good. That's why I am planning for many different scenarios.

Thanks for your time as always!
MWIL

FWW invited me over for dinner on Friday...We played with children, laughed, did a bunch of fun stuff...frisbee, basketball....then I spontaneously got her lawn mower out and cut the grass (20 minutes worth). Afterward, she thanked me and asked "why did I do that....the grass was fine." Well, I told her, the weather for the next week calls for quite a bit of heat and humidity, and I'm sure it'd be no fun task mowing with temps in the 90's, and dewpoints in the 70's. (Yes, believe it or not....I'm a meteorologist!!!!!!!!)

She thanked me...and we went in to clean up the kids and put them to bed. FWW and I then proceeded to have a 3 hour relationship talk...like never before...all while I was giving her a foot massage....of course...I LISTENED....I REMAINED STILL!!!

I believe she was talking from the heart of my W....most of the time. There were a few instances where the WW came out...but I know how to handle that part....REVERSE BABBLE!! And it is not hard at all to get Wife back out of the fog!!!! (At least so it seems!!)

It was a good night!!! I left around midnight....with a kiss, 2 minute hug (no "pats") and a genuine feeling that FWW is giving it her all..........I went home and slept like a baby!! We've talked several times today...short 15 minute conversations.

Does anyone know of anyone (other than Dazed) where Plan A was the deciding factor...without going to Plan B????

Thanks for all who respond!!

MWIL

Wow... sounds like things are looking up for you and your family, MWIL. I'm cautiously optimistic and very happy for you!

MWIL,

I wanted to say that I hope things work out for you and the FWW.

Take it slow.

Make sure that your committments in the future include some real boundaries on your part.

I'm wishing you the best!

Plank.

FWIW, there was no Plan B for Mr. & Mrs. W, George...

Sounds like things are percolating right along in your life...I'm so happy for you...

OT: Funny Story for a meteorologist...Mr. W used to tell me all the time that a 50% chance of rain, for instance, actually meant a 100% chance of rain over 50% of the area...Of course, to most laymen, that sounds ridiculous, so I just KNEW that this was one time that I had finally found that "Mr. Trivia" was oh so wrong...I know you are chuckling right now...grrr...I was so sure that I was right and he was wrong that I emailed our local meteorologist to prove it, and then I watched my email with great anticipation of being able to say, "Ha, ha I was FINALLY right about something!"...Of course, you can imagine my chagrin when the email came back with a lengthy answer about how Mr. W was technically right...ARGH...That dang smarty pants! LOL! So, George, if you can come up with a lengthy answer about how Mr. W was technically WRONG and I was RIGHT, well , let's just say that you'd be up for "Meteorologist of the Year" in my book...LOL...Ok, secretly, I love that Mr. W usually has all the answers...NO ONE HERE BETTER TELL HIM THAT THOUGH!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

I don't think BobPure made it to plan B and he is now in recovery. Try posting that question on the recovery board.

Mrs. W.... I just typed a half hour explaination of your question and after submitting it I got the "your request was denied!!!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Cliff notes, your husband is right <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />.

Maybe I'll have the patience sometime to retype my length explaination!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Boy I hate that when it happens.

Good day to all!
MWIL

PS...Mods....why does this happen so often?????????? VERY FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited to add: Ooopps...on Mrs. W's computer...sorry


George

Of course I'm right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Though I did/do "wonder" how they define the "area" to be included in the "100% chance of rain in 50% of the area". Is it the viewing area, the radar (doppler) area or what?

BTW, when you get that error message if you click the back button it's usually still there now...just copy, go back to the thread and hit reply, then paste in the post and submit.

Mr. W

Yeah - Like THAT ever works.

Mr. W.....

Most private meteorologist don't use percents anymore....generally just the National Weather Service. They have what is called a "county warning area (CWA)". Let's say for instance that the "CWA" is the size of a hula hoop. Now take a bunch of pennies and put them side by side next to each other in the hula hoop so that exactly 1/2 of the area of the hula hoop is covered. Then take all the pennies and put them in a pail, and drop them into the hula hoop. Assuming all the pennies land within the hula hoop, the probablity of, lets say an ant hill within the hula hoop, being covered by at least one of the pennies is 50%. So arial coverage in a given area is the same as "percent chance". And since our computer models can quantify arial coverage....we can spit out a percent chance to the public.

BTW, a study was done on how accurate those percent chance forecasts by the NWS are....and they are EXTREMELY ACCURATE!! For instance, (and this isn't the exact study that was done, but for demonstration purposes..) if you took 100 times that the forecast for Syracuse NY called for a 30% chance of rain, the study found that it rained 33 days out of the hundred!! Not too bad!! (Only 3% off)

The problem is, is that the public criticizes the meteorologists not matter what happens. If they hear, "30% chance of rain"...most people think it is going to rain....and if it doesn't, then "the meteorologists don't know what they are talking about. If it does rain...those same people would say "we weren't supposed to get rain today...only a slight chance" "Those meteorologists don't know what they are talking about"!!!?

People want to know IS IT GOING TO RAIN OR NOT!!! They want a 0% chance or a 100% chance forecast...but unfortunately...the given atmospheric conditions don't allow for that forecast too often...in most places!!

Quick update:

Nice father's day yesterday...FWW made me breakfast and I hung out for 2.5 hours. Then I went home and met FWW and children at my neice's b-day party. Was there for 5 hours....I swam, played with kids, enjoyed the hot weather....FWW pretty much sat at the picnic table with her sister and mother and others and just watched me with about 6 kids.

I brought kids home with me, and I called FWW at her place and told her thank-you for a wonderful day. She seemed, just a "tad" somber....or maybe tired...but that's all.

This morning I called their to ask her something about DD6's school. FWW was up, but again....like she was just off a bit....and I was going to ask what was up....but I let it go.

Then....this unbelievable feeling came over me 20 minutes later......WAS OM AT FWW's house????? Well, big deal if he was....I'd find out eventually anyway if they are still contacting, or my mind is just still a bit "tender". But I feel great!!

One more thing....FWW hasn't emailed me all day....very unusual....I haven't emailed her either....

Thoughts?????
MWIL