FWW and I had our first MC.....the councilor essentially said that we "cured our marriage ourselves"!!

She said it was refreshing to see a success story when she sees so many M's fail right before her eyes.

She looked directly into my FWW's eyes and said: "I guarentee you....this will never happen again...I can see it in your smile" FWW broke down crying with shear happiness. She said "I needed to hear that" and then turned to me and said "I love you so much, George"

MC started crying!!.....BTW....MC was FWW's IC off and on for the last 10 months....MC kept giving me so many "kudos" for my efforts!!

MWIL

WOW, your story just keeps on getting better with each passing day. I can't believe the turn around your FWW has made in such a short time. It wasn't to long ago where she was talking to OM in your house with you in the other room and treating you like crap.

How are your kids reacting to your reconciliation?

I'm so happy for you my friend!

And that is why I still have hope for every person on this board, Hope. It amazes me just how RIGHT the Harley's are!!!! Not all will be recovered.....but most on these boards should at least have a chance....and that is what the Harley's provide.
MWIL

Update:

Going on 2.5 months of Recovery now....and all is as good as I could have EVER hoped for!!! Our M IS better than it has EVER been!!!!! Our intimacy is at a level that I'd never thought possible! FWW is "earning" her way back, and I'm the sole receipiant of her efforts!!!

We (kids, FWW and I) took a 4 day vacation 2 hours away to a water theme park. Just a wonderful time!!!

Can't describe the unbelievable feeling of love between us now! So, so different from 10 months ago, so much cherishing of each other, such better communication between us, so much we look forward to.

I hope and pray for each and every member on this board....that, in time, you have the opportunity to feel as blessed as I do. Believe in yourself!!

MWIL

absolutly beautiful im so proud of the progress you made....
your story keeps me from not giving up...

I'm up to 3/05/06 of your thread....what a guy.
I need help to.
I would love to here your thoughts on my situation if you feel like it.

No hurry, it will take me a couple of days to see how you got to where you are today. lol
Good luck and congratulations
JS

MWIL

I too am a Christian but I would take "nothing" from the other man. If he wanted to kick my ***, I would tell him where to meet me.

I know you have to be safe and the person you described can be trusted to fight fair and is basically insane (which once again raises my question as to what these WS's see in these loser OP).

I would, however, within the legal realm take all steps to show this loser that you and your W have a zero tolerance for his bullying and erratic behavior. Should he do something I would not blow it off I would take legal action immediately. Should he do something else, no matter how small, legal action and so on. He will eventually get it or HE WILL GET IT by serving time with Bubba.

I am so strengthened by your story. It does provide hope to so many on this board that there is hope in the darkest of hours.

Praise the Lord for restoring your M!

jm, js, and hopeandpray,

Thanks for all your replies....jm, just keep posting and reading and then practice what you learn from here. I have no groundbreaking knowledge, just a 100% belief in MB pricipals and an OM that should go down as #1 in the Hall of Shame dirtbags!!! Also a God that gave me the ability to forgive my FWW, not only for the affair, but for all the "crap" that goes with it.

Js, I'll read up on your sitch. and then give my thoughts. But again, be strong to YOURSELF!!! It's all you can control!!!!

Hopeandpray, I'm a pretty decent size guy....and no doubt, with a strip of anger that runs deep, would hurt him VERY badly....especially knowing he lays on his back all day with a bad back....wouldn't take much....and HE IS LOWER THAN ME BY A MILE!!! I won't stoop to pursuing a confrontation with him, but so help me God if I came face to face with him, and he so much as looked at me or my W.....the gloves would come off!!!! But in order for me to protect my family from now until forever....I can't let my mind go there.....there are consequences for what I would do to him.....and even providing pain to him....wouldn't be worth losing anytime away from my family. He is in his own pain now....just hope he goes away forever......it's been over a week now of his pitiful calling. FWW and I are both happy about that!!!

im so glad you feel that way cause ive been on the verge of doing something stupid,but then you guys remind me hes not in my class....
thanks for showing me what a bigger man should do
im in no way your class<benching 300+>but the om is running scared when he hears my name and i think your right about unless someone tries harm you shouldnt stoop to his level.
thanks for making that clear to me and others who have thought about that

Just think of it as anger being the tool of the devil. Whether you are religious or not, perceive it as such, and it'll open your eyes to yourself and where you want to be and go!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, satan has many weapons/tools to spread his ideology. Anger, resentment, temptation, hatred...to name a few. Conter that with the tools of God....happiness, forgiveness, acceptance, love....it is such a better way to live....and utilize those tools on yourself, practice....it WILL carry over to others!!!

really? even though this is such evil to begin with.
you think i could kill it with kindness?
im religous when its convienant and thats not good ,so today my wifes cousin and i said we will attend church sunday cause i need to let out alot of stuff even without this problem.
i know it will be bitter sweet at first,cause its the very same church i married in but i havent been there since so maybe itll be a welcome home party for me sort of speak!!!1
eather way i need god ,not the devil ..the devil already struck me ,now i must let god handle him and me handle my marital duties until i cant no longer

Hey mwil
I just finished your whole thread....you know you have 3 of them but only 2 urls in your sig line.
You need to add number 3 cause its hard to find and will be even harder to find after you have fully recovered and left all of us here to eat your dust. LOL
I know you'll be around.

I just finished thread one and two of your story for the second time.
So many funny things in there "she looked at me like the cat" sad........yes..... but funny now.

Only story I've read in a long time that made me almost cry here at work.
Ok.....JS<<<<Manning UP here>>>>>>>>

Hugs to ya man ((((((((((mywifeilove)))))))))

~~sniff sniff~~~~
Ok enough of the sentimental stuff, now get my ww back HUH?

Thanks mwil
JS

Update:

FWW and I are doing very well!!! A few moments of a slight roller coaster, but all in all, going great. FWW still has anger toward my sis and mom about how they are reacting (in their silence toward her) with what they know that FWW said behind their back...(I told them some of the things that were said by WW about all of us back in Dec. behind our backs, on tape!) MC is working with us as to show them that we are happy, and told FWW that the right thing to do is write them a letter of affirmation that her and I are committed to the marriage, and that she is sorry that she has caused the family grief.

That has been the only thing where FWW gets a bit foggy, toward me....but it usually lasts no more than a couple hours.....then, back into the intimate stage!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

She continues to show me a growing sense of affection toward me, and we are better than we have been in our entire 8 year marriage!!

Best of luck to all others here!!
MWIL

MWIL....How about an update??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Yea George,

I want to know if you've let her read this thread yet; and, if so, did she get a kick out of the "seduce your wife" cologne line I gave you???

Mr. W

Hoping and praying for everyone on this board. Trust MB!!!

FWW and I are fantastic!!! 1 year D-day aniversary came and went without so much as a thought from me!!! (Was too busy remodeling our kids bedrooms!!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Lots of duplicate stuff from FWW's 7 month life in her cabin...new TV's, new furniture, new beds for the kids....stuff we needed anyway!!!

We've really learned to take the best from this ordeal. She points out all the time, when I "would have done something differently", but now I "do it with such calmer, appreciative approach". IOW, she sees and accepts my changes as part of who I am....a better person!

We are planning to go back up to the Adirondacks, just the two of us, for some fall foliage and QT. We went a year ago, under the cloud of D-day just occurring 2 weeks prior. What a difference a year makes!!!!

God Bless all!
George

Hey G...I love your story!

BTW, I plan on being in the Masena/Ogdensburg area sometime next May/June so maybe we can hookup with Send me on my way. I know it is a ways off but keep it in mind since I would love to sit down for dinner with you guys.

HTW

Update:

It's been quite awhile. Things have been perfect up until today. Here's the story:

Happened to be checking our wireless phone records, saw a # that I didn't recognize...and over the last couple days just felt something was off with FWW, but nothing at all that was big...just a little bit less "into" some affection I was giving her...but again nothing big...still receptive. But during the day today, I just felt this growing feeling that something was up....so much so that it got to the point, where for the firt time since August, I questioned FWW about this "feeling" I had and the phone number.....

Well it turns out that it was one of her friends....and I should have know it....because I HAD CALLED IT BEFORE FROM MY PHONE, WHEN FWW AND KIDS WENT TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY WITH HER, AND MY WIFE'S PHONE HAD A DEAD BATTERY!!!

So, needless to say, I felt like crap, and her comments about "how I was feeling" she could understand, but "it certainly made her uncomfortable" and then she said: "Maybe I moved back in too soon, if I've done everything I can (which she has) to earn your trust, and you still felt the need to question me after almost 3 months of me demonstrating it".

Folks, she hasn't shown ANY evidence of contacting OM, and she talks about him (when it comes up) in a negative way. And yet I questioned her????? I know what I went through was rough and that the trust isn't going to come all at once. Right now she seems a bit pissed about what happened. It really is the first conflict we've had during our recovery. I've internally delt with some issues concerning SF, but those were resolved by myself. (Wondering what she is/was thinking during our SF, comparing myself and OM, etc.)

Today has resurrected some of the feelings inside from a year ago, when fear had crept in. But I recognize it now, and am just looking for some short term advice in dealing with this sitch. and some longterm advice on quelling the trust issue.....when there seeming is none.....should I fear questioning her???? I saw her pain, and I'm sure it is not an attractive quality by questioning her. Everyone is so happy we are back together, but I guess I was hoping for a bit more of a "reassurace" response, from my FWW. But seemingly got one that stated that "it makes me uncomfortable that you questioned me."

Thoughts, please?????
MWIL

MWIL..

"Maybe I moved back in too soon, if I've done everything I can (which she has) to earn your trust, and you still felt the need to question me after almost 3 months of me demonstrating it".

You know me my friend...I'm coming straight at you to tell you I am actually ENCOURAGED by this. It's NORMAL!! I have waited for it from you. Remember I asked how you would handle resentment...it seemed like you had no issues, no anxiety over the things you're now bringing up....

Look, you FWW and you need to understand that she is no different than fire....and people who have been horribly burned from fire fear it!! If someone else betrayed you the way she did would 3 "month of proving it" make you trust them any better? NO!!!!

I approached this by making no apologies for me asking questions. This ordeal will haunt you for all of your life and there may be times, 15 years from now that you get these feelings again....WHY??? CAUSE YOU SHOULD!!! It is not a matter of trust..it really isn't...it is a matter of comfort for you, brought on by her betrayal....will she understand?? Perhaps...but not for a while....Mine does not...

I hope this helps...and that you're enjoying the storms!!!

IMVHO, and I am a FWW who followed a lot of your thread rooting for you all the way and wishing my BH would be like you.......it shouldn't matter if you question her in 100 years, about ANYTHING, she should be reassuring. No offense, but who cares if she's uncomfortable????? Who did that? Not you! I mean, 3 months of recovery??? After she had a YEAR LONG AFFAIR????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> WHo is she to talk! She should be reassuring and loving and willing to do whatever it takes. Open and Honest.

Again, remember I'm a FWW, and this is ****only**** my (right <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />) opinion.