I forgot to add that at one point I said I had to go I had to get ready. He asked where are you going. I said to a Christmas party. What I should have said was I'm meeting friends and going to a party. It wouldn't have been a lie. I met my sister, her H, her DS and my DD and we went out of town to my cousin's christmas party for the family. Why would he even ask. When I went through town I met OW and saw WH they weren't together and when I went by his house his vehicle was there but hers wasn't. Maybe he has found out living with a girl younger than his daughter isn't as much fun as he thought it was going to be. It's only been a month so maybe not. Who knows, it just seems so odd. She also has a twin sister who WH always says is at fault when someone says something bad about OW. She works at the local video store and OW was hanging out there about an hour before I saw her driving through town. That is going to be a sore spot between them too. Maybe there are a few cracks in the relationship. I hope they are both miserable. Serves them both right.

My WH is with an OW who is 22 years younger than we are. He says the same thing - that I was a good wife, a good woman, blah, blah, blah.

OW wasn't working at all and when my WH finished going through all of our money and said he needed more, I told him that it was time for OW to get off her back and work. She is working now.

How long have they been together? My WH not only tells me I'm perfect but he tells other people that and has also said it to people in front of OW. It must be the fog. Because when he says that to people they always ask what is the problem then. His answer is I don't know. It all makes no sense whatsoever. He has lost not only me and the kids he's lost his entire family. He doesn't have anything to do with his parents and hardly sees our DD. He does talk to DS but I think it's because he is quiet and doesn't say a whole lot, he's alot like me, but DD on the other hand is alot like him and says exactly what she thinks. I think he is scared of her reaction. She's all of 5 ft tall. It really is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen.

bump

Newly,

I sure wush I had some good advice for you but like you I am in the same mess.

I want you to know I am praying for you and hope this all ends for you soon. Its hard to imagine how our H of so many years can just walk away from us but they did.

The only good advice I have is if you decide to do plan b ,stick to it. I have messed mine up a few times with the most recent last week, and all it did was take me back to the beginning again with my pain. Please don't do that to yourself it just makes things harder. So when/if you do plan b make sure you are ready and stick to your guns...

Take Care,
Hurting

I am trying to stick to plan b. I am supposed to have a court date this week, though I haven't got one yet. I talked to him on the phone Saturday because my lawyer told me to tell him to make the house payment and that he should get his papers this week. I don't know what to think at this point. It's almost like this is not what he wants but he is compelled to go through with the D. Sometimes I think he thinks he can do what he wants and I will always be waiting and then other times I think he thinks well we can get divorced and we can still get back together later down the road. I don't want to be that person. I am going to take the wait and see approach and see what happens. I don't think there is any way his R with OW can ever last. Just because of the age factor if nothing else. Nobody is supporting him in this and it has been made clear to him he can never have her around the kids or his family. The only one who might have her around is his brother and his wife and that is the only person behind him in this and I don't think he approves he just says he is his brother and he's tried to talk to him but he won't listen to anybody. It is all so sad.

Hurting,
I'm also praying for you that your situation also ends for you soon. I am trying to have faith that God has a plan and I need to let him carry it out. It is hard.

Stay strong.

Newly,

I have to say I think my WH thinks like yours does.

I believe he thinks we can be friends and that sometime later things can be ok for us.

The OW in my case though is only 5 yrs younger than me. She is not attractive at all , and is overweight. Not a great catch in my book seeing how she is still married after 6 yrs of seperation. Many men under her belt as well. But he thinks he's special and she loves him. Whatever.....

I think both of our WH'S are confused and not sure but will go through with a divorce just because its expected now. My WH'S family does not support him at all but he just keeps on going, its like a drug addict doing what ever and hurting whoever to keep the high.

I pray they both wake up before its to late for them.

We will make it Newly I believe this... May not seem like it now but we will......


Hurting

I agree we will make it one way or another. I think in my case I could more understand it if we fought all the time, didn't have anything in common and never did anything together. That's not the case. We hardly ever fought, we like the same things and always had a good time when we did things together. No everything was not perfect and I know that but for the most part we had a good marriage until he woke up one day and decided he wanted her. I don't know how that happens but apparently it is quite common.

You are right about the addict. I think it's something he can't or doesn't want to control no matter who it hurts. The ow in my case is not very attractive either she is very little in height and weight. That's why I always say she looks about 12. She also has had many men in her life. She was living with someone when she hooked up with my H, she moved in with her sister and when my WH moved out the first time she moved in with him after a couple of weeks and when he moved home she stayed in the house where he lived with the guy he shared the house with, not that I think anything was going on with them. Then when my WH moved out again she moved right in with him and this is the good girl he's always telling people about. Sounds like a good girl to me.

I too hope they wake up before they lose everything. I'm sure at this time they don't think they are losing anything. Everything will be okay. The kids will be fine. BLah, blah, blah.

I have to see WH at least twice a week at my son's ballgames. I don't talk to him. I know he has told at least two people that I was looking pretty good. I try to always look really good when I know I'm going to see him. He also watches when I'm not looking I have been told. In the last few games he has been staying after the games are over and just kind of hanging around. That is something he hasn't been doing. It looks like to me he would run home to OW. He has also been working on the weekends and putting paper over the windows so people wouldn't know he was at the shop. That is also something he hasn't been doing. He has also banned OW twin sister from coming to their house. He blames her when anyone says anything bad about OW, he always says that's her sister not her. Wonder how long that's going to last when basically all she has is her sister. Coupled with what I saw over the weekend makes me think there may be trouble in paradise. I hope they make each other miserable.