Ark well put. He stated last night " You bought a book and now your not IN love with me anymore. He wants to go shopping today to buy me stuff ect. He is grasping at straws. I told him no more christmas - all I want is honesty. Like what he said - I told him I do not feel sexually attractive anymrore after his statement 2 months ago. He flatly refused to admit it. " I NEVEr said anything like taht your making it up. End of discussion I left the room. I have had my cofee and gave him his. I have been plan A'ing for a year. Now I still am but with out the love in it. I am wonderful - made home made pea soup ect. I look great all the time. I again can not eat anymore. I make myself eat a little. I just don't have it in me anymore. I hope this shakes him as it seems to. Who knows. He denies, denies, and says he NEVER said things. So how do you win against that -it is a no win situation. I have not told him what his exSIL deicussed yesterday and I will not.

A few comments...

We have not reached Chapter 6 yet in Love Busters. We will read that one next week.

I have suggested a lie detector test (I didn't know Mr. Harley was against them). He said he would but $$ is an issue to pay for it.

Thank you all for responding, you've given me a lot to think about. I've never been through this before, and I need all the help I can get. Some days I'm smiling, other days I want to scream. It's hard to move on when new revelations about the A periodically find me. New pieces of the puzzle come together that WS hasn't came clean with or has vehemently denied, and then because it can be proven, he confesses the new part. I find myself starting over and over again reliving the hurt and fighting to survive and recover. All I want is for WS to tell me everything about the A at one time so I can deal with it once and for all.

Maybe Chapter 6 will help him move toward that. I just know that I'm tired, and yes I do want to heal.

He did exactly what I thought he would -he tried his charm, saddness, anger, and bought me a Christmas present. If only he would try to help me get over this . Without your S help this is a no win situation - a couple can not get over this but just saying GET OVER IT!!!

If Mr. Harley is against them, then I withdraw my suggestion. I could see a few reasons why it shouldn't be done - e.g. it can be pretty embarrassing for the FWS, and placing the FWS in embarrassing situation is probably not one of the best ways to recover a M.



Sounds like a copout to me. How much value does he place on your M?



I went through the same thoughts and experiences. Hence "Closure Day". I've written about that on another thread. Though it might be a bit early to tell, it seems to be working so far.