Its been a yr since d-day.My H has done everthing right to make up for his two-month A.He is a different person.A great H an awsome father.This totally changed him and the way he lived his life.
The only thing he did wrong was keep the fact that they actully had sex from me.He said they just tried.It took till may to find out and her telling me.
He was to ashamed to admitt it since he knew he was wrong.
He took all the blame.He said he thought of no one but himself.It did'nt help that all this other women told him was how much she wanted to have sex with him.She told him her M was over and her H beat her.He was there to listen and she would'nt let it stay at that.Come to find out Her M was fine her H never touched her.Funny huh.My H was working and going school full time when this happened.
He said all the signs i was giving him he now sees them for what they were.See we has a hard time with our feelings.I tried showing him in many ways.I think him listening to this lyer made him question things.
Like i said he has proven how sorry he is.How do i let go that he lied to protect himslf and to protect me from the pain?
Tomorrow he will be married 13 yrs.How would you celeabrate.
Over all i had alot of panic attacks this yr,but if i look back over all our yrs together this has been the best one yet.Does'nt make since huh?
How can i be happy and sad at the same time?

Thanks for listening
#1mom

#1m,
Don't beat yourself up here because you haven't instantly healed from your WH's betrayal. I used to do that all the time. When I would go to IC, my main complaint was recovery was stalled and not moving fast enough. In some ways, It was my fault in that I was an obsevvive person.
We cannot dictate the state of our emotional wellbeing at the time DDay. It didn't help that I was an obsevvive person before learning of my W's betrayal. It has really slowed our recovery.
I am 3 and 1/2 years into recovery, but, here I am on MB!
This betrayal does not dissapate overnight, but will take time. How much time? As Long As It Takes YOU!
People can tell you 1-2 years till they are blue in the face, but, bottom line, is it will take you as long as it takes YOU!
Don't despair. I suspect you are better than you were a year ago, so, hold onto that for now. That's how I view my progress. It's better than last year, even if it's not where I expected to be based on what others had told me.
IMHO, there is always a certain sadness that will always invade your thoughts. Learn to minimize that and maximize to postitive. Your WH is home and committed to the R. He is no longer in the life he was in. He loves you and wants only you. Engage him in the new life he has recommitted to being in with you and only you.
Each of us is different, so, don't be too concerned about your timelime to complete healing. Remember the song "Mr Bojangles"? There was a line in there about him missing his dog who had died. It said "after twenty years he still grieves." Do your grieving, however long it takes. But, by all means, reconnect to your M and your H.
If your sitch is like mine, you are fearful of that. I sure was. Face your fear and do it anyway. Otherwise, you lose yourself, your M, and your ability to trust anyone ever again. Conquer your fear and move forward like a warrior. It will only reap many benefits beyond your belief.
I will pray God gives you the courage and strength to do this.
All Blessings,
Jerry
t

Number1-

Just wanted to make sure that someone posted back to you.

I am glad that you are doing so well....I think that you'll begin to feel better about that lie as you are more sure of your relationship with your FWH...I think it will just take time.

Congratulations & God Bless,

-Caren

Thanks for posting.i know we are doing great,better than ever before.We know how to talk to eachother.We say i love you many times thru out the day.before it was once in a blue moon.we did'nt know how to.I am happy.The one thing i want the most is to renew our vows.We are alot wiser now than we were when we were married at age 18.
Thanks
#1mom