Well, you won't die if he won't. And you won't know until you call him up.

Healing - H no longer lives with us. I swear he might take that f'ing cell phone into the shower with him if he could.

I feel like I am frusterating people with my indecision and my repetition and my lack of trust in myself.

This is ******. I can control my emotions and speak to him rationally and calmly, and have done so. He still gets defensive and says he is very angry with me. I feel as though I am the one feeling all the guilt here while he feels none.

I understand that this OW probably makes him feel like a king - thats cool, but just tell me darn it, I have a right to know if you want to be with another woman.

He said he doesn't want to go to CA thinking that I am worrying the whole time that something is going on between the 2 of them, but of course I am going to - he is dumb to think that I wouldn't.

I do want to go to the airport and find his car. I am not sure where his key is though. I will have to look for that. He probably has the stupid thing with him.

I cannot believe he could do this to me and our DD.

It's too bad you couldn't hire someone in CA to dog him. I would bet they carry on their affair out there. Would your parents help you pay for a PI? You could probably catch him in 1-2 nights out there when he is not being cautious.

Also, why are you waiting until Tuesday to call the OWH? Is there a reason for that?

I am calling OWH on Tuesday because my H and OW do not have work tomorrow and I do not want to call while they may be together. I would like to call when i know she is at work.

They are going to be around a ton of other managers and if they are stupid enough to do it in front of them, then they can have each other. Plus, while I was in Mexico, I did make it known that their relationship was a major concern of mine. I actually told one of my H's best buddies who later questioned my H about it. But H's friend is loyol to only H and would probably not help me at all if I were to ask him.

Post deleted by sickofthis1961

It is a BMW so the key would be a ton of money. i may be able to get the valet key though...

Allison... how are you and baby doing today?

I can totally relate to you being unsure about stuff. I felt the same way with what I have/know... cell phone bills and other Once, I drove by and find his truck there at her place early in the morning. When I called him on it, he gave an excuse that could be plausible: "I leave the dog there so he can have some company during the day." OW has a dog, too.

You have to go with your gut instinct. It's ALWAYS right. Then do whatever you can, quietly, to get the proof.

I know he is not living with you - but he was there last night, wasn't he? He fell asleep, right? You have to take the chances when they present themselves.

Pay whatever it costs to get the extra key. What can it be? $100? $200? Cheaper than a PI, anyway.

Find his car at the airport after he leaves for CA, and put the recorder in set to tape when he gets back.

We are okay. H is moving more of his stuff out and then he is taking DD to stay with him tonight. I am going to die without her... I hate this and him so much for ripping our family apart like this.

I am going to try to maybe do the stake out thing at the airport when they get back. I may just drive over to her office to find out what her car looks like and what her plates are.

I really feel as though I am losing it. I know they are conspiring against me. Even after last night he still gives me the "I love you" eyes. I am convinced that OW is telling him to make me feel like he loves me to throw me off the trail.

Do you think I am being paranoid?

I will try to get his Valet Key, but I don't think he would be that stupid to leave it in the car. I am convinced he knows I am up to something. I can be a bit see through at times. Not the sneakiest of women, more like the sqeakiest...

I am going to bust his as* right open. And hers too. I just don't want him to lose his job - he knows he can if they get caught... We cannot afford that...

Alison, you have to surrender your own agenda at times like these. You can't afford for him to STAY in that job; trust me.

So he just left. He is so distant and just so into himself.

Forgot to tell you all that my Mother is dying of Lung Cancer and my father is also battling health issues and my H never asks how they are doing. Barely gives me any support through their illnesses, and I hate him for his insensativity to that as well. Apparently, his life and his OW are his only concerns.

I feel like I am losing this battle. I want to be strong. But as he was sitting here collecting his things I began crying and he asked what was wrong and I just couldn't speak and he didn't even care enough to give me ahug or comfort me.

I have relied on him too much for that in the past, and I unfortunately still rely on him to make me feel better. I need help to get myself strong enough to get through this.
I am weak and sad and scared.

Mr.Wondering, I just reread your post again, and if she has kids with whom she stays with at night - at least that is what my H tells me, then when are they getting together??My mom says that they probably just talk on the phone all the time - mainly and then get together at the trips - Now that she and her H are separated, it would make it easier for my H to visit her, but I doubt he can when her kids are around. What should I think? WHAT CAN I ASSUME???

And yes, he is acting like he is staying in our relationship and I believe that he has been testing out this OW for a while now.

I agree that no man would leave his wife and newborn baby if there wasn't something else out there.

Allison,
Do you have a pastor or are you able to get into counseling? You really need to deal with all of this with someone who is trained to help you deal with these emotions. How old is your baby? Have you been treated for Post Partum Depression? That can be a problem for months/years after the birth.

I think you need to make some real progress on you.

Please see about getting some help to deal with this. You have had a lot on you.

A new baby
A wayward Husband
A mother dying
A father ill

any one would be having a rough ride. Please get some professional help for you. Your daughter needs a mom who is emotionaly healthy.

Blessings

Thank you Moveforward, I am in IC and I am on Anti D's - not really helping so much with the depression, but I have lost some weight because of them. And I don't really feel depressed, but just get sad when I think about jerky H and sl*tty OW...

I do have a lot on my plate and I am handling all of it darn well, except for the A. My baby and I are healthy and happy, and have fun with each other every day.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring.

The OW in our situation was married and had 3 children under 4. That didn't stop them from taking trips together, not to mention the availability of her house when her H was at work, cars, offices, elevators, you don't want to know...
suffice to say where there's a will, there's a way.

i CANNOT handle this. He just left with DD and hugged me and told me he loved me. Why can't I just trust my judgement. Maybe my jealousy is messing up my judgement?

Please help. Still very weary about A and about exposing... Even though I have told myself that I am calling OWH on Tuesday I can't help but think it is not the right hting to do...

Confusion is killing me!~!!

If he wasn't having an affair he probably would not be living elsewhere.

You really need to get a grip.

You have to decide if you want to keep living like this or do something about it.

If you want to do something about it, you need to expose it to stop the affair. If he loses the job, he can get another. That would better anyway because it would get him away from the OW.

Now, you have time to formulate a plan. Get to it.

Don't just sit there feeling sorry for yourself or worrying or secnod guessing.

I don't mean to sound mean, but honey, you can't keep on like this. It is not productive.