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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 862
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 862 |
With such a short marriage, no kids, and him being abusive, I think you should at least seperate from him. The impression I had was the abuse was dealt with and ceased early in the marriage. That's why I answered the way I did. If there is abuse still happening, I 100% agree that you should separate first and protect yourself. The affair, abuse, threats, etc would have me running for the door. FIM
Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to move your feet.
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 94
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 94 |
you are right FIM, the abuse was a long time ago...and it hasn't happened since......
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Personally, I consider it abusive for a still cheating WS to threaten that if the BS exposes the affair, he will break everything in the house. Might be just me though.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
The impression I had was the abuse was dealt with and ceased early in the marriage. That's why I answered the way I did. But they are still EARLY in their marriage NOW. They have only been married just over 2 years. Just because he hasn't hit her very recently doesn't mean he isn't abusive. In fact, he has threatened to tear up their house if she exposes him. Pretty much he has been abusive their entire marriage, whether it be with his fists or with his adultery. I think there are many men out there who are much better material.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 862
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Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 862 |
The impression I had was the abuse was dealt with and ceased early in the marriage. That's why I answered the way I did. But they are still EARLY in their marriage NOW. They have only been married just over 2 years. Just because he hasn't hit her very recently doesn't mean he isn't abusive. In fact, he has threatened to tear up their house if she exposes him. Pretty much he has been abusive their entire marriage, whether it be with his fists or with his adultery. I think there are many men out there who are much better material. Agreed. Threatening to tear up the house if you expose IN ADDITION to the previous abuse IN ADDITION to the continued adultery.... like I said, I'd run for the door. FIM
Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to move your feet.
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 94
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 94 |
There is no right answer. Yes the abuse was wrong and it was early in our relationship. we have been in counseling since the A was exposed. We have an awesome christian/spiritual counselor who has helped us together and indiviually work out our problems.
yes, the abuse was wrong, Yes the infidelity is totally wrong. I just can't give up yet. We had a long talk tonite and he's ready and willing to begin moving in the right path. And i honestly want to give it one more try.
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