I appreciate your thoughts and words of encouragement Still.

There really isn't much to say, so don't feel bad about that.
I think your thoughts are pretty close to the way it could be, therefore......
I have been doing so much thinking my head hurts. I felt so clear yesterday and so strong, it was a release of something in my chest/heart.
Today, I have taken on a different thought. After advice here and from a couple of friends, I have decided meeting him is not in his or my best interest. I still remain in the same thought. I don't wish to start up the relationship again, I need to move ahead, whatever lies ahead.
When I have had contact with him, he is bringing up the past. There is too much history there, for this to be a positive meet. He is in a bad spot, and I don't think I'm the best person to help him.

Our Holidays were great, thanks for asking! My girls wanted electronic stuff, which proved to be a challenge for me, but in the end I got everything working!! But, I was close to tears in the process. Too dependent on a man in that area, need to blossom more!
We went to SC and spent some time with family which was very nice.

Now, its back to the routine!

Thank you again for your thoughts and compliments!
K

Still~~I'm so sorry I didn't ask.

How are things going for you and your bf?

Fill me in, I want to know.

K

Smart decision.

Take care.

Karona-

I think not meeting with him may be a good idea. There is only so much you can do, and I think he is hoping for more than that. I also don't want it to reopen old wounds that you have worked so hard to heal.

This has to be so surreal for you. I think of all the feelings you have had for this man. I think of how hard it was for you to make the break from him and how often you second guessed your decision. I think of how many times you missed him and wanted to call him, but didn't. I think of how hurt you were when you thought he was moving on. However, no matter how tough it got, you stayed strong and true to yourself and your convictions. To find out just what was going on with him and just how depressed, etc. he was/is, has to be overwhelming. Yet at the same time, it should be proof positive to you about the person you are and that you should never settle for anything less than you deserve. Your day is coming!

I am glad your time with your family went well. I know you were looking forward to the visit. I hear you on the electronics. There are some things we just need men for! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

The kids and I had a great Christmas and things are going very well with the BF as well. I got to go to a Packer's game on New Year's Day. It might have been Brett Favre's last so I am glad we went.

Hang in there!

Take care and God bless!
K

Still~~

You pretty well summed it up for me!
Another learning experience. One more thought to throw in, just think, both my x and xbf were married this year. Makes me feel like damaged goods, nahhhh, just kidding.

Glad you and your kids enjoyed Christmas. The game sounds fun!

Thanks for your encouragement!
And thank you too B2M!
K!

I second that!

Yup, know the feeling and how easy it is sometimes to go there. Please remember that what still said about you is really true!

Watching your discussion here is helping me think through what's going on with my xBF J.

Tues night he came over to hang out. We smooched a bit and talked. He would have liked to have had more than smooching, "just as friends". I told him I am not ready for that, and may never be.

In general, he has been calling more, and it has felt like he was trying to slip back into old times, and felt very uncomfortable. I don't want a romance with him, and I have grown a lot on my own without him. I've realized over the last 24 hours, talking to him, and reading this thread, how much I've grown, and I'm not sure he has... and "hangin out" with him on the phone just cramps my style. It's not fun. Sooooo... I was very quiet last night when we talked for about 5 minutes. Then this morning when I was sent a txt msg wanting to talk, I replied "ummmm, not really. Too much lately." I was proud of myself for saying no.

He's still unhappy "alone". Too needy. And that's very draining. Even when it comes across in subtle, sub-conscious ways.

Thanks for sharing, Karona. And thanks for listening. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

hugs,
Faith1

Faith,
I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.

whoa! You have grown and are shining!!! Excellent! [reply to txt msg]

"He's still unhappy "alone". Too needy. And that's very draining. Even when it comes across in subtle, sub-conscious ways."

This is very typical of my situation with xbf.

I feel much the same as you. I feel I have come so far, and have grown, so much so that, turning back would be an error on my part. I remember clearly the joy of the relationship. However, I also remember the feelings of, something is not right and I will not be happy if I choose this path.
This situation has surfaced, and it has caused me to re-focus, re-think, re-everything.....

I have learned my instinct was correct.
So, now I feel I have to learn to trust myself and my decision.
If I assume the situation has been presented to me to give me clarity, okay, it has done that. So, that leads me to be believe, the bothersome thoughts are coming from, he is not who I wished he would/could have been. Which opens a trust issue for me again. If I have learned my instinct to be correct, my hope is that I can trust someone to be who I believe them to be.
[this sounds like a big circle. I know my thoughts, but I'm not sure I'm getting them out].

And thank you to you Faith!
K

LT~~

Thank you, I needed that!!

K

Very wise decision K.....you should be very proud of yourself, b/c I know how hard it must be to want to *help* him, but chose, for YOURSELF, not to. He has to help himself all on his own.

Bravo <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

DW

Oh DW, I don't know if proud is the right word?
This has been anything BUT an easy decision.

He is one to jump from one relationship to another [I imagine] to not feel the pain.

My hope is that he will spend some time alone, get some help, heal, and be happy.

Thanks for the thoughts!
K

Well, I mean proud in the sense that you've come so far, have grown tremendously and were able to think thru and make the RIGHT decision, even though it was a HARD one....

(((hugs)))

DW

be very careful of spouse hunters

I will keep that in mind! Thx!!

and thank you again DW!
I appreciate your kindness.

Karona