Hi Harmonie,

Let me be the first to congratulate you on your WONDERFUL news about your H's shift!!! I am so happy for you and your family. I am taking this as a sign from God also, as I am like you and tend to be skeptical....but this is definitely a sign from above.

It seems like we (me, you, numberonemom) all had kind of an emotional rollercoaster weekend, but that ultimately we all ended up okay. God I hate those crying jags. I''m glad that your H was understanding. I also had a dream about OW on Sat night and woke up in a grumpy mood. It's tough to shake those feelings.

Counseling is difficult, no doubt. I don't like to pour my heart out to strangers either. But I think the counselor plays an important role in helping see the other point of view.

Hey girls,

I did read that article.Well some of it.I think i read a little something like it on a dirrerent website. SurvivingInfidelity.com This web site is like this one.The forums are not as good.I was only over there a few times.I just found it a few days before i started talking to you girls.I much rather be here.I was telling my H more about you two last night.He thinks i should keep AOL for as long as i want.I told him how much help over the past few weeks i have gotten from you girls.Great advice too.

I also told him that he could read this whole thread between us.Hes says he can't it's my private thoughts.I said i don't mind at all.He just said maybe sometime.Maybe hes afraid of what he would read.If you think about it,I don't remember any of us bad monthing our H.What so ever.I think this is a good think.During this whole ordeal,i do not believe i ever said anything bad about him.Yes i was angry ,i was hurt,but right away he realized what he done.Yes he lied,i think that was what i was mostly mad about.I could of said things about that.Maybe our way or just my way of dealing with anger is not letting go.You know keep bringibg it up.Not letting go.

I am glad to hear Harmonie,that your H might have day hrs for good.I will keep my hopes up for you.Cherish these days that you have now. I think god had a plan for you after all.Does his boss know about the A?Is he the one pushing for the new hrs because of it?

Mama fish, do you think you could move on with your M without doing the MB.I do have to say i did'nt do too much of it.You both know now different things to now make it work.I know you want to know WHY,i am the same way.My H just tells me it was him,He was selfish.That he jump into something without knowing what he really had at home.YOu and me keep saying it in our posts different things,which we know had something to do with it.Like the IT playing a big part in feeding their egos,someone meaning IT always talking about having sex and they would'nt tell,There pity stories and how they pretended they need our H to rescue them.That artcle did say that men want to feel needed.Remember we were mre independent all the time,even tho we wanted and need help we never asked.I know this just plays a little role in it.Sometimes i wish i could just move forward,my H wants to be here he wants to help,he now knows i need.He knows i always have.

Sometimes i wonder if its easier just to move on.We know what is important now,we know how a M should work.Sometimes i think we should only talk about what we need now,what will work for us.I wish i could do this,i know the past don't matter.When i say this i think of the Lion King when the Simba says he can't face his past and the Monkey hits him in the head and he says what did you do that for and the Monkey says it does'nt matter it's in the past.Make sence.

I think at times maybe all this MB crap will just bring up to much,I think i am happy with what little i did.Everyone is different,people here say its the only way.Bull crap.If both people want there M to work they have to do what they think will work to get them thru the hard times and let them move on to the good times.Think i would follow this.LOL NO

Well i am going to go clean for a little bit.I will ck back later.

#1mom

Hi Numberonemom,

I think that it was nice of you to tell your H that he was welcome to read this thread. You are probably right that he is afraid of what he will read, but you are also right in that we did not badmouth our Hs. We did talk about the lies they told to cover tracks, and how much pain their actions caused. But I think most of the discussion has been about the OW (yes, she is still taking up our time, damn her!) and how our Hs are committed to the family and M now. Especially you, you have been giving him a lot of compliments on how much he is supporting you and spending time with you and the family now. I certainly didn't say anything that I wouldn't mind someone else, even my H, reading. But alot of the things I wrote, I haven't even talked to him about too much. I wrote him tons of letters after DDay, I would write and write. He read them all, even the ones that made him stop reading for a while because they were so painful for him to read.

My H says the same things as your H--he was selfish, he wasn't thinking, never meant to hurt me, was never leaving his family. In his case, he says that he turned 40 and lost his damn mind. There are alot of reasons why it happened for him/me and for you and your H. We know them now, and are doing our best to never take our M for granted anymore. I think that Dr. Harley says somewhere that if you think you and your spouse are immune to an affair, you are even more susceptible to one. I agree. I just never thought it would happen to us, but then when I read all of this stuff, I see how could it not happen. We were on that path to destruction for a long time without realizing it.

The Lion King is a great movie and I forgot that part about "It doesn't matter, it's in the past". I love Hakuna Matata--it means no worries, for the rest of your days...

You are so right about moving on with our lives and marriages. We do need to and I think we are getting there, slowly but surely. You can't rush it. I know that you are ahead of me, but that gives me faith that I can do it too. If both spouses actually work at the marriage, then it will work. If we are all totally committed, it has to work, right? We now know what the consequences are. I know that when I start to feel "disconnected" from H, I can sense it right away. It's a bad pattern. We are both stubborn people. I try to recognize it and give him a hug or tell him I need a hug. This works much better than what I would do in the past--sulk, make comments, LBs all the way.

I know what you are saying about MB. It has helped me to understand how and why this happened, and I see alot of value in the MB policies. However, I can tell you right now, and when I read about the Policy of Joint agreement, I knew that would never work for me and H. I think that is almost ridiculous to have to negotiate every little thing, even buying something at the grocery store. If it works for some people, that's great. More power to them. But it would not work for us. I am pushing him on the ENs because I really think that is the foundation for the whole plan. It makes sense too, and if you know what your spouses' ENx are and try to meet them, well that will make your marriage more satisfying. I think that we need to do the LBs to recognize these. He does these more than me--independent behavior, he does all of them. I want him to understand how hurtful these things are. He has not done these very often since Dday.

I don't think I can truly move on in my M until he reads/understands how the ENs need to be met on both sides, and the LBs. I also want him to really know how much pain he has caused me, by reading Dr. Harley and that article by Dr. Glass. Then he will hopefully understand why I can't just forget about it. He knows that it is difficult for me, and it's hard for me to explain just why. If he reads it from another source, it may sink in further. I do agree with the policy of radical honesty though. I think that is my biggest problem, dishonesty. He has lied so much that it is hard for me to believe what he says.

I am thankful that I never had to do a Plan A or B. I don't think I would have the strength to do Plan A knowing that he was with the OW. I give all of the people here alot of credit for what they have achieved by doing this. I think that is why so many people say MB is the way. If it helped them get their spouse back in these extreme situations, then it must work.

Last night, we had a great night. We are going to our MC on Thursday night, probably for the last time, or at least for a while, until we get some insurance that will cover the cost. I definitely hold anger in, as you said you do. Our MC told me that on the second visit. My H explodes and then is done with it. I hold it in, internalize it and it festers there until I explode. This is not good and is something I need to work on, I know.

I'm glad that you are comfortable doing what you did in MB. That's all that you can do, whatever works for you and your H. You have to use what you can to make your M work for the two of you. If it's working for you, keep doing what you're doing.

Gotta go do some work now. Will check back later.

Hey Mama,

Glad to hear your night went well.Mine did also.We played harry potter with the kids and read and listened to our cds.The past two days,hardly ant thoughts and no tears.I am so proud.

We did yesterday go out and buy my H a new leather jacket>had to use credit.It was something that had to be done.Mainly because i was trying to figure out when things started between them.He got his new jacket the day after his b-day.Which means he had his old one on the first time they ???.Then after he did her he had the nerve to get a new jacket like everything was dandy.Even tho i told him he needed one.If i only known.Latley just looking at the jackets brought me back to him lying and saying he did'nt remember if it was before or after his birthday that things started happening.Finally i said we are getting new jackets.Then i threw both of the other ones away.He said even the newest one i only had a yr.I told himthe reason he said.Okay lets not worry anymore.I even have new underclothes on layaway for him.Even tho i know must of the ones he has now are newer,i just have to be sure.So when i get this ,all those will go in the garbage.Anything that could remind has to be gone.


Did you happen to read the thread on once a cheater always a cheater.Someone wanted to know if this was a fact.I wrote if this was true than no one would have faith in saving there marriages.They could lose out on so much.Being a betrayed spouse I can't believe this.I won't lie i would say thar all the time.NOw that its happened to me.It made me re think things.The only thing i can say i will do everything right in my M this time.I told my H if things will not work out than we need to talk and let go before we could ever make this statement become true.There are so many people here who have proven this false.God bless those people.

So MC on thrusday.I hope it goes well for you.Thats why we stopped before.My H INS ran out.When he got it back i did'nt want to go back.Things could work for me if i just let them.I won't lie i think i'm afraid to let them.I understand about wanting to do at least the questions about EN.We did this one.The JA one forget it.We are not babies,we don't have to ask to buy a drink if were sitting there choking on something do we.I think on huge things,a car a house,etc... On everyday little things no.The honesty think,i'm with you.When do we know for a fact that here on in they are telling the truth.Going back i would like to know,but i want it in our furture.This is a must.We will always have a little doubt.

I was lucky how do we say we are lucky when something like this happened.Well anyway i am lucky my H was'nt stuck.He was able to let go right away.He wanted me.No questions asked.I tols him i would of fought,but only if it was for our M.I would not fight if he could'nt choose at that point in time.I did'nt have to worry.

My H too treated me badly i would say only the last week before he was found out.He would just snap at me for no reason.Noing major,just enought to shock me.Thank god his A was found out within days of that.I think they do this to try to justify what there doing.Make it seem like its are fault.

I think i wrote a book.I should go make lunch,the little girl i watch will be here soon.

I'll ck back later.
#1mom

#1mom,

Good for you on no thoughts, and on your new jackets!! I'm proud of you too. I think that is a great step!!! Get rid of those reminders. Men are not like women, they do not remember stuff like when they bought a new jacket. I can tell you that I remember new clothes that my H bought, nothing big though, and new underwear. It's better to get rid of it all so there are no triggers, even if it costs you money to buy the new jacket, it is worth it for your peace of mind.

I didn't read that thread about once a cheater....I saw it but didn't read it. I agree with you. I think that it can be true for some people, but that if both spouses are truly committed and communicating, it does not HAVE to happen. I think that if either of us had feelings for someone else now, we would talk about it first before acting on them,due to what we now know. That's another thing my h and I need to talk about--boundaries, no flirting (I don't but he used to do it casually), no confiding in opp sex friends. I don't want this to EVER happen again. I want him to know that he can come to me if I am not meeting his needs, if he is not happy. I think that since we have been through it and he knows that I did not leave, he would be more likely to work through the problems, and your H is probably the same.

We are lucky, as you say, in comparison to others on the board that have had to fight for their spouse. I say that to myself sometimes when I am thinking of the OW and what she may have meant to him. I think, would I have fought for him if I found out and she was still pursuing him? Yes, of course I would have. And if I was competing for her, would I be treating him well (Plan A) while he was with me, and not with her? Yes, I would have. So, now while he is with me, and not with her, why shouldn't I treat him well and be happy that he is here? I don't know, it helps me sometimes to focus on the present and not dig up the past. I would also have made him choose, and I know that he would have chosen me. So we are both lucky in that respect. It's not a case where they didn't know what they wanted and tried to say that they shouldn't have married us in the first place.

My H is going for an interview in RI on Friday. He just called to tell me/ask me about it. We agreed that he should submit for the position. He said that he doesn't want double lives again, because this will be at least an hour commute each way. I told him, we'll talk about it tonight. He still has 2 other good prospects that are close by. I think that he should go for the interview for the exposure. I'm not thrilled about the location of the job, but we do need the income badly. I think that he is trustworthy, that he will not just up and find someone new, but I am not liking the commute part of it. We'll see what happens.

Gotta go out and get gas and go up to the grocery store.

See ya later,

Well girl,
have fun shopping.I did that over the weekend.Spent more then i should.Thats okay the food will go.Should i say the junk food will go.My kids can big pigs.My D eats so much.Both my K are tiny too.

Good luck with this other interview.Would you ever concider moving?We talk about this alot.sometimes i would move out of state.Then i realize no matter where i am IT will be there.In my mind anyway.Hopefully not much longer.

Well i think i will go for now.I want to watch my soap opera.It's getting good.I will ck back when i get home from picking up the kids from school.


#1mom

Hi there,

My kids also eat alot,mostly junk food. They are big for their ages. My DS looks like he is about 7-8 yrs old, very tall. We are going to try some rice cereal for the baby to get her started on solids. She goes back to the dr on Feb 6 for her 6 mo checkup. It will be nice to have her eating cereal and not so dependent on mommy's milk.

I would consider moving out of state, but would not do it unless there was a terrific opportunity. We have talked about it from time to time. My H does not like living in CT. He moved up here 18 yrs ago to go to school, is from Virginia, and never moved back. We have been together about 15 -16 yrs (i lose track). He hates the CT Yankee mentality, you know, people are not friendly, etc. Down South, it is much different, more friendly people. He is from VA Beach area so it is nice and warm in the winter. I love the area, but the job / pay is less than up here. I have worked at my co. for about 17 yrs and can't give it up for nothing. He would love to live somewhere else. He could go work in Atlantic City, Vegas, anywhere there are casinos, if he wanted to. Both of us are not sure if we want him to work at a casino again, it has cost us so much. You know what I mean, and the reminders of what happened would be always there for me. You are right, though, you cannot escape IT if you move. Until you release her mentally, she will be with you. Although a change of scenery may help. I don't think either of us are in that desperate a situation where we have to move away to prevent contact (Thank God). I don't think either H are willing to risk their Ms again.

Now that our son is in school, I am reluctant to move out of state, or even out of town. Maybe out of town to a closer place if he gets the RI job and wants to do it. I would like to keep him in the same class until the end of school year though.

Hello,
i really don't have much time.Have to deal with the kiddies.I just anted to say have a great night.

I'll be back on in the morning.

#1mom

Hi NOM,

Me neither (no time that is). You have a good night too. Once I start writing, it seems like I write a book.

See you in the a.m.!

Hi Mom's...
Just had to give out a quick HI and {{{{HUGS}}}}}
gotta run to work...
doing BOTH jobs this week! 8- 1:30 at one and 2-7 at the other!!!! What a week this is turning out to be!

Be well!

Harmonie,

Hello to you to.It must be hard working all those hrs.try not to stress yourself out.You still have alot to deal with at home.I hope your ankle is better along with your back.

Well have a great week if we don't hear from you.Take it easy.We will be thinking of you.

#1mom

Good Morning,

How are you doing on this rainy day.I think we have flood warnings posted.It's better than snow.

Well i am going into day four with no tears.I hope i make it threw this one.My H has to go to a meeting after work.He won't be home until about 8;00.This happenes once every three months and they tend to be hard on the both of us.Today i told him i will stay positive this way he can focus on the meeting he has to give.I don't want him to worry about me.I think i will take my kids to pizzahut for dinner.

Last night my H brought home his credit report that you can do online for free.We went tru the whole thing.Wanted to make sure everything was correct.I of course wanted to make sure nothing was opened in that two month time frame.Which there was not.There were inquries from a few places we never heard of.One was a communication place.First thing i thought of was a cell phone.We looked it up online.Its some type of local and long distance phone service.Still it did scare me.He was upset thinking here he brought something home so he could be open and it still blew up in his face.Thats because he senced i was a little upset.It scared me.I tols him it was the best thing he could of done.I told him i at times thought that he might of took out a credit card and used it for a few hrs here and there at a hotel,or he brought her things.I told him i thought at times you could of had a PO box that these bills went to.Now i know you did'nt.That made him feel better.It made me feel better.I tell you i think of everything.If you read here.Some people spent all kinds of money on this other person.My H did not.Thank god.

I even have the number to that communications place.I was going to call,but i changed my mind.

How did your night go?I hope well.I read you have been at your job for 17 yrs.That is great.Are you a manager or anything like that?You must really like it.What exactly do you do?You guys still have only half day kindergarden.When my son went to scholl it was half day.By the time my Daughter went it was full day.I like the full day better.They are now in 6th and 2nd grade.

So have you been planning anything yet for Valentines Day yet?I'm trying to come up with ideas.I want something special.I have to wait to the kiddies are sleeping before i can do anything to special.We are doing lunch.I am trying to think of what to get him.I have no clue.I think my problem is i want it to be extra special.We brought things in the past,but i don't think it was any that meant something,Or showed how much we care and love eachother.I will come up with something great.How about you?

Well i have to go ck on the baby i'm watching.He came back today.He is almost one and walking,fun huh.

I will ck back soon.
#1mom

Good morning,

First of all to Harmonie, I hope you have a good week. Wow, that is a really long day. Take care of yourself so you can make it through and rest your ankle and back!!

numberonemom,

Congrats on four days....keep it up girl!
That is really good that you sat down with that credit report. You do think of everything, I have to say. I never thought of this. I don't know if my H bought her many things or not, I tend to think he didn't, but it is one of my questions if I ever get to it. He called her on his cell phone alot. One of my regrets is that I never called her cell number when I saw it. I asked him about it and he said that it was his friend's (You know, the one whose house he was staying at). He always had an excuse. One time I did actually open the cell phone bill (he would always get the mail before me, take the bill, and go pay it himself). He got so mad at me and we got in a huge fight about it, he still denied that it was anything. I almost called that number so many times but I didn't know what to do about it. I wish now that I had the guts to do it. Maybe it wouldn't have lasted so long if I had. But what's done is done, so I can't think too much about that. As for your calling that comm place, I think you did the right thing by not doing it--just leave it alone. I'm sure that there is nothing for you to discover.

We have had two really good nights. After the kids went to bad, we laid in bed and talked, kind of like we used to. It was really nice. We talked a little bit about the A. He says "that crazy person' when he talks about IT and he said you don't know how sorry I am that I ever got involved with that crazy person. So, we had a nice talk without getting too much into it. He said how he has seen a big change in me since we have started going to church in the last few weeks, and that he is really happy with all of the progress we have been making, although we have a long way to go. He sees that I'm trying to move forward. I said, well I still think of it every day even if I don't say it, and he said I know that you do. We both said that we are committed and in this for good, and he said again how everyone knew he was never leaving his family, etc. It made me feel good that we both see positive changes in each other. We hadn't really talked about that before. I said that we need to have a talk more about the A, and I said that I wanted to go over those answers, and that you had said to take what works from MB and leave the rest. He agreed, he said, let's do the answers and then go from there and take it slow. I told him that we are both scarred and need to realize that, and he said, scars only make you stronger.

The funny thing is that it started out as a bad night and turned around because we both stopped our patterns. This is what happened. He smokes, I don't. He asked me to buy him a pack of cigarettes on the way home. I haven't done this in years because he used to buy them on the reservation, or he buys them himself. He doesn't smoke in the house or around the kids, so I don't see the packs around. Well, I bought Newports (right brand), but I got the softpack instead of the box, because that's what I thought he bought. Well, he says that he used to get the softpack years and years ago and these were stale, and he started getting mad about it.. I said that I haven't bought them for him in years, how would I know he changed,...blah blah blah. I resisted so hard, the urge to say, I'm not Nicole, I'm sorry that I didn't know which kind to buy, etc. I knew that was the wrong thing to do, as much as I wanted to. I just said , well, we need to relearn things about each other and I"m sorry if I bought the wrong kind. Now I know and will not do it again. I told him that he can't take this kind of stuff for granted that I know what he likes, since we are learning to live together again. He agreed after he thought about it.

So, I am thankful that we were able to turn this around. I even commented on that later when we talked about things.

Yes, I like my job but I"m not a manager. It's a small manufacturing company that is owned by a family. There are only about 40 people that work here. I am in sales, and responsible for taking orders for parts that we make, and sending out quotes. I like it. I don't have to travel because of my family / young kids, and it is close to home, and family friendly (if I have to take the kids to the dr, etc). It's a nice comfortable place to work, and low stress most of the time, so I like it. My boss and supervisor are both traveling this week so it's kind of quiet, with nothing new getting put on my desk by them.

Is it hard with 2 kids in school? Are they involved in a lot of activities? My son hasn't started any of those things but would like to do soccer or baseball in the spring. Maybe cub scouts too.

As for Valentines' Day, I told him I thought of taking it off, but we agreed that I should take the next week off when DS is on vacation, and maybe send him to daycare one day. Hopefully H will be working by then anyway. We never really did much on Vday, maybe cards, or he would cook a nice dinner at home, or bring me candy. This year it will be special, I will try to think of some ideas that we all could pick something from. We will also have to wait until the kids are asleep to do something special/celebrate it!

that's all for now but I'll be back.

Mama,

I'm glad your night turned around.I like to talk in bed.We talk about so much now.Yes the A does come up here and there.It is getting less often.I think one main reason i am trying so hard to go forward is because over the weekend when i was having one of my Panic attacks or anixety I started talking about him asking god for forgivness and also him forgining himself.He said he can't do it yet.He says for over a yr now i hav'nt gone a week without crying.He says he don't deserve it yet.He says he does'nt know when that day will come.

He has turn around and then turned around again.He has made so many changes.Hes here for the long run.I really hope he starts to think about forgiving himself.

I'm glad either one of us smoke.My H did at age 14. we started dating i told him i would'nt kiss him unless he quit.Well he quit.That IT smoked thro.I think it makes women look ugly.I'm glad he never went back.I can say a handful of times when he drank he took a puff here or there.Thats another think i never drink but if we did go out which was a handful of times a yr.My H would get drunk.I hated this.Sometimes he would act so dumb.He knew i did'nt care for him when he was like that.After this came out about the A he has no desire to drink.No reason too.He has fun with me.I think he drank to make himself feel and look good.I'm glad he stopped.He might have a drink here and there.Thats okay.

My DD is in girl scouts,first yr she also dances (TAP).My DS will do soccer and is going to take bass lessons.Yes its hard having two in school at once.So much to keep up with.

On V-Day i think i might pick out something sexy.I did at the begining of discovering his A,you know before i knew they had sex.So we had so special nights.After i found out i could'nt were anything sexy and threw everything out.He asked if i thought i could were something again sometime.I told him yes i think so.So i hope i could find something.

It just made me nervous i would think what if she wore something.He says no they both barly were un dressed they were ashamed of there bodies.

I can't wait to see air supply tomorrow.I am excited.This concert i will not get upset at.I will enjoy myself.

Well i have to pick my sister up from school.I will ck back later.
#1mom

Hi there girl,

It's nice to talk in bed, and much easier, and freer to express yourselves. You're not angry, you're relaxed. We stayed up too late anyway, but it was good. I even told him this morning that I wasn't tired this morning because we had such a nice night staying up talking.

What do you think about finding a church to go to? This may help your H find forgiveness within himself? I don't know if my H has forgived himself, but I know that he believes God has forgiven him, he knows that I haven't. He hopes that someday I will. I hope so too. I read alot of the threads on forgiveness and that helps to understand it is better to not try to forgive too quickly. I am not a religious nut by any means, but I find it helps to center me spiritually and I find more peace when we go to Church. It helps my H very much.

I wish he did not smoke. He knows I hate it. He has quit for awhile but then always comes back due to stress. And at the casino, there is smoke everywhere so it was tough to not smoke. I don't know if she did. I would guess yes. He does not really drink either. Every once in a while, if we go out he will. I don't drink, hardly at all. I like to have a glass of wine sometimes. He will sometimes drink beer while watching the game. At my work Xmas party, he had a few drinks, but he didn't get drunk. He did get drunk at one of his friend's wedding this summer, but that's about it. We were never big partiers before we had kids, so that didn't change. I am not one to go hang out at a bar for fun, and neither is he. A coworker of mine and her H go sit at a bar all the time on the weekends, happy hours on friday nights. I would rather spend my time doing something else, even if it is just staying at home. One trigger for me though is during this A, he started to make a different drink with this brandy and Alize (a liquor that is orange flavored) that he said he had tried. I wonder if they used to drink it. He hasn't had any drinks since D day except maybe a beer here and there.

Definitely buy some sexy lingerie for V day. Try Victoria's Secret--they are probably having big sales now, and you can even get something on the clearance rack for even less... and it will be just as sexy. Don't even tell him and surprise him. He will love it!! Get something that he would never expect you to wear, be daring. I think I will do this too. I have a few sexy nighties but haven't worn them since Dday. I had a bunch of sexy underwear that I hadn't worn in years. I took them all out about a month ago and started wearing them. He noticed, that's for sure. I want to know if she dressed up for him like that but I really try not to compare myself with her. I try to remember if he says I'm sexy, I must be sexy, so I act sexy...it's all in the attitude. One comment he made to me and in our MC session was that I am embarassed by my body and would not get dressed in front of him. I'm working on that too, not that I walk around naked or anything, but I"m trying to get over my insecurity about my body.

I would like my DD to get involved with girl scouts, I enjoyed it as a kid. I also would like them to be involved in music. My H used to play instruments as a kid, but I tried flute and hated it so I didn't stick with it. I don't want to push them into anything.

Enjoy the concert tomorrow. I will be thinking of you. I know that it will be emotional, but it will be GOOD emotions, as you will be sitting there with your H right by your side...Bittersweet, but very powerful emotions....savor the moments...

I have a thread going w/ Loy about asking questions and asking for details. She (and others before her) have said to write a list down, which I have done. I find I keep adding to it though.

Hope you had a good afternoon, it's pouring and very windy here. Will check back later...

Hey Gals,

If you are still looking for Valentines' Day ideas, check out the threads on this topic in the Emotional needs forum....there are a few, One is men's dream V Day, one is the womens' view...

I'm gonna go w/ the sexy lingerie idea myself...

Hello,

i really don't have time.Just wanted to say have a great night.I am taking my kids to pizzahut.I'll respone tomorrow to your post.

#1mom

That's right. Have a good time at Pizza Hut...good to get out of the house...

I also thought of Frederick's of Hollywood...there is a store at a mall nearby...not sure if I'm quite THAT daring though....

Have a good night!

Hey girls,

Just a quick note to bump this up...we are going to MC tonight. Probably our last session for a while until we get some insurance that may/may not pay for it. I am going through my list of questions per Loy's advice on another thread, and am preparing to tell the MC that this is how I feel that I can start to recover, by getting all qts answered, regardless of how dumb / insignificant they seem to anyone else? Like, does it really matter if IT did her nails? It does to me because my H would say how I used to do my nails alot, and even bought me some nailpolish and complained when I wouldn't wear it. I would do it but it got too hard to keep it up w/ all the work I was doing. I'm just wondering, did she go get manicures and have her nails all nice and pretty all the time? Was he attracted by this? I think you know what I'm saying here...

#1mom, Enjoy the Air Supply show, in case I don't hear from you beforehand....

Have a good day

Hi Moms....

I'm home from work today with a sick kiddo. Coming down with the cold myself , too. Egads.... I hate winter.
I picked up a sexy bra and thong the other day when I was out shopping in anticipation of Valentines Day. I have NEVER worn a thong before so I don't know if this idea will work! It is a cute red satin heart shape with a "diamond" heart on the back side. LOL!!!!
H has made comments about them so I thought maybe I'd give it a try. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> LOL!
Been really wiped out from working both jobs and with both H & I getting home so late we have not really talked much. He gets the kids to bed and then we hit the pillows our selves. But H could tell last night I was feeling crappy and down and he was very thoughtful in approaching me and making sure I was doing ok, wondering if it was cause I was just tired or sick or if it was "anything" else.
I was very touched by his concern and gentlness.
I really do feel the recovery . Thank God.