I am not trying to give WH excuses but it may be likely that he has promised to divorce you once have the baby and move out of that house. Is it possible she is assisting him with fulfilling his promises to her by helping him shop for townhouses for YOU? Regardless...I can already here that that would be his excuse. The Nissan's another story but he'll still say he's just helping out a friend and business associate. Dig further and get business records to protect yourself.

Mr. Wondering

Can you install some spyware via that remote?

yeah i can print em i forwarded them all to me then deleted them from his sent box.

chat history???

I also found an email from OW best friend who is also the realtor who is sending this info, and she sent an email to my WH about how getting a divorce can be a blessing and suggested reading for him.

The realtor sending the info already sends emails directly to my WH for comaprison market analysis on my house.

These properties said on them "properties for OW to consider" then OW forwarded them to my H.

spyware... yeah i already have that on the pcs.... i dont know what to do with it, but i have it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My parents just went by trailer, her car is there. No H car though. Lights are off in trailer. They are going to look in hotels by her trailer to see if his car is there.

They ought to stake out OW's trailer if they have no luck at the local hotels. Pictures or just eyewitness accounts of him entering her trailer or kissing her goodnight outside the trailer would be awesom.

sidenote - why do these OW always have to live in Trailers?

You are getting the information you need ... good job tonight. Hope you don't get caught, yet. A few more days of survellance may be beneficial.

Don't give up...as long as one sane spouse remains willing and able to fight for a marriage then the marriage remains savable. You see, your WH has a fantasy that he can divorce you and everything will just be fine...him and OW can move into together...he can have and control all his money...he can share custody of kids and keep them with OW's help...you and he will become friends, etc. When you shatter his fantasy world and he starts to see the consequences of his actions, sooner or later the pain of seeing the REALITY of the situation will fester and bring him back around into considering alternatives. Then OW goes nuts and she starts L.B.'ing your husband and if he doesn't leave her and come home we got some other things in store for him.

Please take care of yourself...Eat and get some sleep. You've got a plan which will most likely result in your husband returning to his marriage. But no matter what, your plan includes your survival...you will make it.

Mr. Wondering

do you know if he chats? I can tell you how to check the archives if he uses Yahoo. Maybe somone else can help on the others.

Empty the trash on his email or he may still see it al

I so cant handle this.

I just called him and he didnt answer, then he called me back to seconds later. I just called him to see how things were going at his meeting and when he thought he would be home. He said about an hour and a half. Its 20 to 9. I asked where he was and he said out and about.

I said thats one heck of a business meeting, he said its not really like that (yeah i bet) he said i had a really good day, ill talk to you about it soon he says. Next came I gotta go and he hung up.


I tried calling the guy Mike's house to see if he would answer, but got a machine. Thats who he said he is with.

I feel like calling OW and asking her what she would feel like if she were me. I also feel like going to his parents house and asking them what/if they know. I also feel like giving Mike a swift hard kick where it counts for lying to my face and lying for my husband.

Well my parents checked 6 hotels by her house and nothing.
I think I have to get a GPS on his car with real time internet tracking capabilities.

This is the worst.

Heidi, will they follow him in the morning?

p.s. willingtowait just ordered a GPS, I think it was this one: http://www.landairsea.com/

As far as chatting goes, they have this Oaysis phone system at his office and he uses that for chatting because it is integrated with the pc's. He has no need for any chat programs after that because he has a cell phone that she or whomever would call on.

I am trying so hard to keep up the good fight, to be strong and to Plan A the best I can.

It seems to be getting harder, and especially when he is finding ways to spend less and less time with me, and less and less time where he is accessible to me. It gives me very little opportunity to try and show him anything, or do anything for him.

She doesn't care. But you knew that.

Keep working on the evidence. Treat it as a crime scene. Keep gathering EVERYTHING you can. You're a real trooper Heidi. We're praying for you girl.

yeah they said they will follow him in the morning.

I feel like every time I talk to him and find something out that I am getting slapped in the face, and just cant even believe this is happening.

heidi, don't even question your H tonight, ok? Just let your parents gather the goods and then confront him. He won't tell you the truth on his own so there is no reason to even ask.

Yeah I know she doesnt care. She is being just as selfish and uncaring as my WH. But she is like a vulture scavaging for injured prey. I think she is a very morally damaged person that she thinks that what she is doing is ok. Not that my WH is in the clear for his behavior, but its not like she isnt aware of the fact that he has a wife and kids and a baby on the way.

If she was a good person, she would not have involved herself with my H. Or do I owe her an apology???

ok will do, ill just be polite when he finally drags his [censored] home. 4.5 hour business meeting and counting. Gee for a client that they take to lunch every other week they sure have a lot of business to discuss way into the night. I wonder if the client is getting paid overtime for this.

So I have a question, what if I cant get a copy of business records? Can what I know be worth anything or do you need to have hard copy proof....lets say I was to call the IRS and have the business audited? or something like that?

copies are fine. do not call the irs -can't you pull up his cell phone records off your computer?

If it ever gets into a divorce situation you will have to hire what they call a forensic accountant. The forensic accountant will do an analysis of the business and your husbands current spending on OW to come up with a figure of what the marital estate is worth or should be worth versus what husband represents to the court.

It would be great if that accountant and your attorney could have business records as they stand today because your husband is likely draining the business of worth and perhaps doctoring the books a little (i.e.- some cash deals, extra-pay to OW, bonus's to himself/OW, stocking up on inventory thereby depleting the business of cash, transfering assets, putting cash in a safety deposit box, etc.).

Because Waywards are so consumed with their affairs they often put off doing the book doctoring for another day. He'll get it done before the divorce but he hasn't gotten it done yet. If you get business records now, unbeknownst to him, then your side waits to receive the doctored business records pursuant to discovery in the divorce proceedings. If you can prove he doctored them the court/judge will NOT believe anything WH says to the court from then on...he is essentially committing perjury. You are then more likely to get a favorable settlement OR more likely to bust up the affair and get your husband back. Either way, you and your kids are protected financially.

This is not as big a concern for non-business owning WH as their paycheck is what it is...I am concerned for you because your husband is in control there and can play all the games with the books he wants.

If you guys have any joint bank accounts or other accounts (checking, money market, investment)...I would consider advising you to withdraw it ALL and put it in your own name for protection. He could be planning to use it as a down payment on a townhouse for her or otherwise just be spending it foolishly or hiding it. As far as your credit card...you are going to get to keep all your personal property, you could stock up on some household things that you could return for cash/store credit later. He is on a spending spree so you at least should be racking up some spending on household things.

My idea about spending the night out friday or saturday. To guarantee he is home where you can catch him perhaps you can ask him if it is alright you go out with your mom, sister, friend..shopping, a prenatal class, prenatal massage, prenatal yoga, whatever, while he takes care of the kids. Then just be really late coming home to give him time to get the kids down and give him free time to get on the computer and talk on the phone within earshot of your recorders. You get to enjoy a massage and bust him at the same time.

Mr. Wondering