WH came home, and he found a receipt from a money order that must have fallen out of my purse....

He said "What's this?"

I said "Well....I have been making payments on my bills" he said "What bill?" I said "Ummm I think that one was for the phone bill...."

He started yelling at me, saying "THE PHONE BILL???? WHY WOULD YOU PAY THAT?!?! YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE....WHY WOULD YOU PAY ON YOUR PHONE BILL?? YOU DON'T NEED A HOUSE PHONE..."

I said "Mark, it's really none of your business what I spend my money on, you are the one that wants me to move out, you no longer have a say in where I go, what I do, or who I do it with.

He, of course, doesn't agree with that.

I got a little upset during the conversation and I told him that I knew that he had been in contact with OW.....which he denies, and still says she hates him....I said "Well that's neither here nor there....."Do YOU hate her??" He said 'No, I don't hate her...I don't have any feelings about her one way or the other?" I said "SO what....was she just a F***?!" He said "Basically" (Which is crap) I said "Whatever, you did all kinds of stuff with her, I'll bet she helped you pick out this house, and you TOOK DAYS OFF and went places with her....YOU NEVER took anytime off to spend time with ME!!!!"

SO anyway, I ended up crying....and I said "How am I supposed to stop loving you?" He said "I don't want you to stop loving me!!!" I will never stop loving you!

So...things got out of control.....nothing physical...but I've been holding in my anger for so long now I just exploded.

*Sigh*

God Bless,


-Caren

P.S. I am renting a U-haul Monday Morning...I took the day off of work, so I will be movng out "Monday the 16th"....Monday is one of his 12 hour days, and I usually work 11am to 5 pm, so I have several hours to get this going when he will have no inkling what I'm doing.

I've been trying so hard to plan A.....but sometimes you can only hold this stuff in so long....think I screwed it up royal????

Good luck Caren. I've been separated for over a year now and am quite used to the peace I've gained. This might be the wake-up call your WH needs. He probably thinks that because you love him, you will always be there for him. Be strong Caren. Girl power to you. TT

TT-

I am almost POSITIVE that is what he thinks, that I'll always be there to take care of all his needs. I think it will be his wake up call.....because I'm committed to doing it this time.

I got the minutes put on the cell phone for DD10, and I will be paying my 1st rental payment tommorrow.

This weekend I am going to be cleaning the apartment (The apartment place already "cleaned" it, but you know....it's not as clean as I want it to be. I am going to be taking everything that isn't at the house I live in now (The stuff that is at my Mother's house) over there over the weekend too, and getting it all put away, so I don't have a million boxes to unpack and deal with once I am moved in.

Monday I am renting a U-haul, I took the day off of work (They know the sitch) and I am going to move EVERYTHING. My WH works from 10 AM to 9 PM that evening, and I'm not telling him that I have the day off, so it should be the perfect time to do it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> My friend Jeremy (Don't worry, he's gay) is going to help me, and my Dad is going to drive the U-haul (I don't feel comfortable driving a truck, I'd be freaking out the entire time) and I think I have a few others that can help, and the kids will be at school, so it ought to be perfect <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />



Wish me luck,

God Bless,

-Caren

I'm with you Caren.

In His arms.

Stay strong, Caren.

We're with you all the way...


TM

No I don't think you screwded up. I think this is all a process and we get through it on our own time table. Some get there faster than others. Expressing yourself, your feelings, making your needs known, making yourself a priority instead of waiting to be someone else's priority and standing up for yourself is all good. Let him think what he wants about the receipt.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when he gets home from work Monday! Can you hide a spy-cam? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

LOL @ spycam...that would be priceless!!!

But there'll be no spycam, because once I'm out, it's all about me...no more snooping, no more worrying about where he is and what he's doing, it's all about ME and what I need to do <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I need to find a hobby, not sure what that'll be, but I plan on staying as busy as humanly possible. I think I may offer to help do things at the church, I know that they have no church secretary, so maybe I can help out with some of their clerical stuff <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I feel VERY confident that this is part of God's plan, that this is the direction that he is leading me in.....and where he leads I will follow.

God Bless,

-Caren

P.S. I turn 38 on the 22nd of this month ICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karen will you have a computer to post to us on MOnday????????or Tuesday?

My DSL actually is already operational, I just haven't been there to pick up the modem, etc....because UPS has been attempting to deliver it to the apartment, and , of course, I haven't been there. So I have to go to UPS's main location or something like that...and pick it up. (But my WH had DSL when I first lived there...and he never gave the equipment back....so I may just use his, and have them resend the modem to me....and I'll give his back at some later point in time....or mail it back to SBC).

So, I guess the answer is YES, I will have a computer on Monday....and I should be done moving by around 6 pm, and he gets off of work at 9pm, so I will probably need A LOT of support on Mondy, because he is going to go ballistic.

And possibly someone to actually *talk* to on the phone, if anyone would be able to talk to me, I'd appreciate it....I have free nights and weekends on my cell phone, so it's free anywhere in the U.S. after 9pm <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God Bless,


Caren