It also tells you he doesn't care about improving the R.
My X refused to read any Harley info.
Move on now.

Hehe, and also the other part - don't waste your time with Mr. Wrong <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

I told him that the information came from a qualified and reliable source and that it really reconfirmed to me that he has no plans to work on anything. He responded that he recognized it was junk and therefore did what should have been done with it in the first place, threw it in the trash.

I believe we are done. I am off to a friend's for some wine and sympathy!

Take care and God bless!
K

If you can look past the hurt, this is pretty funny. He dismissed an article on Disrespectful Judgement with a nuclear sized Disrespectful Judgement of his own, how ironic. Shows you the shape of things to come.

AGG

I can't believe he did that Still.
You are far too good to be treated with so little respect. Honestly.
I can't believe he threw it in the trash.

Be strong Still! You are worth far more than this.

Thinking of you,
K!

Wow.

The trash, huh? This really pisses me off.

What was your response? Did you stand up for yourself? Did you tell him how that made you feel?

You "believe" you are done SR? There should be no question here. Easier said than done, I know. But remember to love yourself and DO NOT WASTE YOURSELF WITH MR WRONG.

Hugs
DW

Oh, I don't envy you... what a yucky situation. (((((SR)))))

You're heading in the right direction... be sure of that. And hope you're getting some nice wine and sympathy tonight... friends are the best, aren't they?

Tomorrow. or in a few tomorrows... you'll move forward... on your own time table... and do what needs to be done. I'm sure of it!

Keep up the learning/healing work, SR!

Hello everyone-

Had a rough weekend. BF and I are officially apart, yet he keeps calling to check in, see how I am doing, etc. He even showed up at my son's basketball tournament for a while. I can't take this part. It is hard enough on me to make the break, but impossible to keep talking to him.

We have talked a lot. He even listened to my stuff on disrespectful judgements. Anyhow, it seems we are just too different on many levels and I don't know how we could compromise.

I just wish I could fast forward this and get through the bad feelings. I really care for him and this is agony. I feel like either we put a genuine effort into making some compromises and making this work, or we go our separate ways. I can't do this in between stuff.

Thanks for listening.

Take care and God bless!

K

I'm sorry Still.

I do know the pain very well.

This is going to be a trying time for you, and if he continues to push, show up at your house, or event, that will make it all the more difficult.

There is no way to fast forward past this sucky stage. And gosh does it take time. And it's a painful time, I won't lie about that.
It sounds like you have good friends around you though, and that will help.
Even if its just dinners, something to get you out of the house and keep the thoughts from creeping in so much.

What do your kids think about all of this?

I will continue thinking of you.
K!

That's what I don't get. If we agree to move on, why does he continue to contact me? He had this same issue at the beginning of the summer when we split for a while and it tore my heart to shreds. He says it is because he is in love with me, but thinks we are wrong for each other. He is very concerned about his role with the kids and the fact that they have a father. He is more disciplined and structured than I and feels that they will hate him for it. I don't know, I can't predict the future, but I can accept that, however I need my space to heal.

My kids don't know. I didn't want to say anything to them until I can do it without getting upset. Imagine my surprise when he came to the game. Only a week ago he declined a similar invitation.

Thanks for the support.

Take care and God bless!

K

SR,

Perhaps you need to let EX BF know that you want a clean break. Having him show up to events will interfere with your healing process plus it's not helping the children either.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

(((hugs)))

Thanks. I told him that it was what I wanted and needed, but so far he hasn't respected that. As I said before, we split up briefly in June and he did the same thing. It was horrible for me, just when I would be making strides he would call and throw me for a loop. I am hoping that this time he will respect my wishes, but it is still so new.

Thanks for the support!

Take care and God bless!

K

That would be so hard Still, because it's the truth. You will have days when you feel you are moving ahead, no tears kind of day, and then he will call you, show up, whatever, and you're back to square 1!
I remember the first time I saw xbf, it was 3 mos after split. It set me back for a few days. But, I was able to get back on track because there was zero communication.

And recently, with the latest, it set me back, but nothing like it did before. When his marriage all came to light and him wanting to see me, I had only a momentary lapse thinking, I can have this again??? But, I've come so far, and I have learned so much I couldn't turn back. I think I finally figured out for me, and my situation, it would have been exactly the same, and that was the part that kept me from turning back.
And, I'm happy to report, I am confident with my choice!
But, all this being said, your situation is your own. I'm by no means trying to compare or lighten it. It hurts and it takes time! Lots of it. Just know that I will read, listen, and respond.

K.

I guess I just feel that if it is over I would love to fast forward past all this pain and hard stuff. He has been e-mailing me today and in many ways acting like nothing has happened. This sends mixed messages and is confusing. Granted, I am not letting him be the only one with a say in this, but whenever we have contact, he says stuff, whatever, it sends me back into that "What if?" thinking.

I am really proud of you. You have made it through so much and come out a much stronger person. You took the time to get to know yourself and it paid off.

Thanks for the support!

Take care and God bless!

K

I know, I do know. That pain is real and it hurts, bad.
Gosh, I do know what your feeling.
You have this great guy, if only this one thing was different.

He must be grasping right now I imagine, if he's acting as if nothing has happened. That makes it very hard to be strong.

Don't give me too much credit yet. I'm still learning, and flubbing!

K.

Checking in with you Still,
How are you doing?

Thinking of you!
K.

Thanks for being such a great friend. I am doing okay, but still in contact with him. To tell you the truth he called me and brought up a lot of the stuff I had presented to him. He seemed a lot more willing to compromise and work on things. I am not sure what is going on with him, or what I am thinking anymore.

Where is my crystal ball?

Take care and God bless!

K

Still, if it were only that simple.
That's the thing with these relationships, there are no crystal balls. I wanted that so many times for myself.

In time, all will reveal itself, [which ever way it goes].
I believe it will all fall in place in it's own time.
Before that, either way could feel wrong for you.

We can all have our opinions or view situations [not just yours, anyone] but unless it's ourselves, can we truly know how we would respond?

You are very smart and you are strong [I do see that]. I trust that you will find the answer and you will be happy with the decision you make. Take your time.

Thinking of you,
K.

You guys, I have to tell you that since you both sign with K, I got confused and thought Karona was writing to HERSELF. LOL Okay, I get it now!!

You both are great, and isn't nice to have friends!?

NB~~~

Hey, it's not so funny, I do talk to myself sometimes.

Still and I have wondered if our K's are the same!

And YES to your statement. Still has been there for me, along with many other friends here. Many wonderful people!

K.