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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
sfjaj, I am glad you are coming here instead of giving in to contacting OM. what can you do to distract yourself when you feel weak? Call your H? I would guess that is the surest way to break it for you.
As for the OC issue, I do believe since your H is on BC that OM cannot initiate any kind of visitation. Do check with an atty to be sure.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476 |
I think you are correct in that...meeting with attny this week to be sure. I don't want to break NC; I have made a promise, but this is so much more difficult than I expected!!
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
It IS hard sfjaj and you can hold your head up high because you are DOING what you thought you could not do.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 998
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 998 |
It is hard. Keep busy- exercise- sit on your hands and do not contact him. You are doing great!
We're here for you!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 576
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 576 |
sfjaj -
Have there ever been times when you have thought about your A and desperately wished you could go back and do the right thing? Well, think of this as a chance finally to do the right thing (NC) so that later you don't have to remember this time with the same intense regret.
God bless,
Rose
FWS-me
BS-H
Dday-8/2002
Recovering, still!
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 810
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 810 |
sfjaj,
I'm not sure if this will make sense to you, but also remember to be kind to yourself.
You are in withdrawl. You're also in mourning. You have suffered a loss -- even if it is "just" the loss of a fantasy. This isn't to say that you should wallow in self pitty. But rather, extend to yourself the same kind of gentle compassion you would to a loved one going through a difficult time (the same kind of gentle compassion you are, hopefully, extending to your husband.)
Sometimes I think the urge to break NC is strongest when we're feeling the worst about ourselves. Don't let that critical voice in your head beat you down so low that you become inpulsive and do something you'll regret. You have been very brave so far. Keep it up and hang in there!
--SC
"I require more from my spouse than behaving well in order to avoid pain." (guess who)
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 476 |
Thank you to all of you for your support. I am DETERMINED not to break my NC. That's why I spend time here when weak...
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