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ark^^,
you have a talent of saying words that are like a soft, warm blanket and a cup of tea; shelter from the storm. Your timing for my own personal path has been uncanny...
your words calm and soothe me when my mind is racing, churning, struggling, desperate for answers and solutions. You give me strength to drive the roots of my soul deeper. An old grape vine has a sturdier strunk and the roots are deep and even in meagre, stony soils finds nourishment. And although those old vines bring less fruit volume, it is of better quality: sweeter and more intense.
That is the marriage I want: deep roots, a sturdy trunk, and intense and sweet fruit. Vines, too, must weather excruciating, difficult years.
Be still, be still. Nourishment can be found in the depths.
Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
Redhat
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Ark
I so needed your post this weekend. Divorce papers for me served yesterday and I was pretty down. It reminds to to Be Still and Know God. God has healing on his own timetable.
Thanks so much Ark.
BS (Me) 43
WW or FWW 40
2 DS's 16 and 13
Married 21 Years
D-day 9/10/2005
Exposure 9/11/2005
False NC 9/11/2005
Discovery of Contact 12/23/2005
NC (Letter written Jan 2006)
Divorce Petition Filed Jan 2006
In a holding pattern.
Me Still Handing in there
Phil 4:13
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I am now going on six months since my husband's "just friends" emails that just about sent me over the moon. I don't think I will ever get the answers that I am looking for from him. He insists they were just friends and while I didn't see any love words, the emotional connection between them was real. We have been working on our marriage and it seems to be getting better, but I still need a place to talk with others that have had similar experiences. I hope this is the place. Being still is a mantra that I have had for years... IT's hard to do.. but still... being still is where God resides and can work
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ark
it is so hard to "be still" when you feel everything crashing down around you and fear you will be crushed as it happens.
but perhaps this is when God wraps his arms around you and protects you...and whispers in your ear...be still...you are safe
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Thanks for that, Ark. That's exactly what I've been hearing on the "inside" for that past few days, and your post really confirms that for me.
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Ark I want to thank you for those words I know they are true in my head & heart. It doesnt make it any easier to follow just more clear.
Cliff
BS (me) 43
WS (her) 41
Discovered A 10/19
NC established 10/25
withdrawal ended 11/18 (the worst of it anyway)
refuses counseling
previous user name tazcliff
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hi...i am trying to figure all this out..so i can talk about my problem..and help you all...and hopefully i can learn from you too. I am trying to figure out what to do..i never thought i could be that O/W. And i promise i am not some kind of monster trying to hurt anyone. Maybe i can explain to someone some unanswered question they have. Or maybe perhaps anyone out there can shed some light for me. Why do women want so desparately to hold on to a man who has made it very clear he does'nt love them,and wants out?
Ashley Hart
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Ashley you can not help anyone.I think you are a load of cr##. Go away Ashley, I have seen your kind on these boards before.
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Maybe I agree that Ashley's posts will not help anyone, but I must say that I at least find it interesting seeing what she has to say. I haven't been around long enough to see her "kind" post very much.
Edited to add: Yeah, so I was wrong.
Last edited by no_cute_name; 01/15/06 10:34 PM.
ncn
BS - 27 (me)
WW - 23 (living with OM since 9/16)
OM - 32 (OMW - 33)
no kids/pets in either marriage
d-day - 9/12/05
EA/PA - 6/05-present
Exposed to OMW 10/5/05, Exposed to ILs 10/18/05
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Okay, nevermind. After reading more of this story on other threads, I've had enough. Wow, my head hurts. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
ncn
BS - 27 (me)
WW - 23 (living with OM since 9/16)
OM - 32 (OMW - 33)
no kids/pets in either marriage
d-day - 9/12/05
EA/PA - 6/05-present
Exposed to OMW 10/5/05, Exposed to ILs 10/18/05
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My dear beautiful Ark, I agree with LT, your words are soothing to the troubled soul..... like he way a mother calms her frantic child down and lets them know like words to a song......sha na na na, it'll be alright.....sha na na na, just hold on tight.....' Well ok.....so I can't sing but if you remember that song by BJ Thomas..... you can hear the real song. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Great Post Ark! If the BS here in pain can learn from just this one post, they will have made great porgress. New batch of posters here with the same old problems...... so sad that A virus is still running rampant all around the world. I'd say it is worse than the HIV, AIDs or any other disease. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Thanks for posting such a beneficial thread. Mahalo, L.
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Be Still...that thought was very helpful to me during my 'time'. This (free) exercise helped me a lot in that regard. It is a meditation/observation exercise(Judeo/Christian based) Be Still and Know
Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
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Ark,
I needed this post. We started MC last week, seems to be going well, we are both doing our "homework" right now.
Is there still contact? probably, but a lot less than 1 month ago.
My w is very motivated to work with the counseling.
And my "extra" assignment for the week was basically to "be still" - no bringing up the past, no accusing about the present.
Thanks for the post.
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Ark - Another big thanks from me. B
Me(exBS)46, Her(exWW)45
Married 16 years (together 24)
2 lads aged 6 & 11
EA D-Day 15 July 05
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What a beautiful post. I am finding that it is so true. It comes (again) to me at a time when I need it most. Sort of like He is working through you.
Early on after D-Day, I was (like so many) falling apart. I prayed so very hard to Him to help me and guide me. I prayed for my H to be introspective and to make right within himself what may have caused this A. I was so desperate. One night after about a month or two into recovery, I had a dream that Jesus came to me and all it was was His face (sort of) and two words, "BE PATIENT". I just knew it was Him talking to me. Don't think I'm crazy, but it gave me hope and to this day, every time we hit a bump, I think of that night and His message to me in that dream.
I liken this post to that dream. It contains (for me) nearly the same message.
I thank you for such moving words.
BS-Mellow (47)
FWH-Chopper (58)
D-Day 8/24/05
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Ark^^, Gobs and Gobs of appreciation for your post. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Even a year and a half after Dday this still does apply. Thanks for the reminder. k
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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It is the most common denomonitar of what I want to respond with to an overwhelming number of post...
whispering to many here.....
be still....
just be still...
for a minute
for a moment
be still...
ARK
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Thank you for posting that ARK...exactly what I needed to read at this point...
Me - BS 44
Him - WS 45
3 month A..admitted to PA after 5 months of denial
D-day 12/25/05 .. Merry Christmas to me
Married 24 years
1 DS - 21
1 DD - 19
Recovering nicely
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WOW! ARk i ask you to read my post HURTING and I still would really appreciate but I will tell you I needed this advice today and read it because I knew you had a message for me. Maybe this is it or maybe there is more you can share with me. Please read my post and if you have more words of wisdom let me know. I am going to try and BE STILL!
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