|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 617
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 617 |
Perfect timing...thanks I needed that!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 41
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 41 |
Me too. Thanks Ark!
I don't want to tell you what was going through my mind until I read that.
Printed and now has a home in my pocket
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463 |
Thanks Ark! I forgot all to often that is exactly what I need to do...I need to forget everything else and just watch the garden grow for awhile, and stop trying to weed it!
I love your insight! You are amazing! Have a wonderful day!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 174
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 174 |
This goes with the saying; "Don't just do something, stand there!!" Good advice, I only wish I could follow it.....
There is a clock on the wall ticking. I don't know where it is or what time it is but she's waiting for something. Actually, I think I found the clock. I can't see it clearly enough to read it though....
BH (Me) 46
WW 46
Married 15 years
A began - 6/05
DDay - 7/30/05
Exposure - 8/1/05
D papers served 8/10/05
A continues....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,253
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,253 |
I don't know who bumped this thread but you are a genius. I've read and puzzled through this thread many times. Be still? Be still? What the heck is that? How could I DO that?
Today, I get it. I'm understanding "still". I'm at a place where "still" is where it's at.
Thanks to whoever bumped it because I needed it.
Grapes are versatile. Grapes can be sour, sweet, sublime as wine and fabulous even when old and dried out.
Me: BS
XCH: Clueless
2-DS: Bigger than me
1-DD: Now also bigger than me!
5/6: Personally served CH with divorce papers
6/6: CH F? wants to time to see if M can be saved
7/6: FCH reenters our lives to work on marriage but secretly signs papers to start divorce...what's that about?
Mediation set for November
Final dissolution in January 2007.
2008 and beyond: Life goes on...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
ark
Thank you sooo very much for the post. It's hard to believe that D'day was one year ago Saturday. Day by day, I march on, wondering whose leading the band. Pushing away the fear and dealing with and within myself has been a challenge, but a gift. What was he thinking when he committed this crime against my soul and his? I look forward to years from now, happening upon the subject and hearing, from a repaired yet tattered heart, what drove him. I look forward to years from now, with him.
I am not angry, I am still. My love is alive, and that's all I can ask for today. My patience does not always prevail, but has allowed an openness to come between us again. He said, "we" the other day. That was a gift. baby baby steps. The greatest gift? I am looking 'forward' again. I look back to examine and learn, not to find anger and resentment. Resentment lives, but it no longer rules. Oh, I could go on and on.
ARK you have inspired me, thank you.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 246
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 246 |
Thank you, Ark, for your great advice. All too often, I am being impatient with WH and being still is just too hard. I know that this is the biggest test of my life- to be still. I am so glad that I read this today but I was having a hard time being still a few minutes ago. It just seems like an eternity. However, I am willing to be still for the sake of my M. I am going to print this out and tape it to my forehead. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Looking forward to a new chapter since D was finalized on 4/24/07 from WH.
"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978 |
I want to keep this on the front page.
Its exactly where I am and what I need...after all this time he is coming around...I want him to hurry up about it!!!
Last edited by ChaCha; 07/06/06 01:27 PM.
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 484
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 484 |
Ark,
as always words of wisdom to live by. being still is such a task. but one that is empowering for just those few moments. as time goes, moments turn to hours, and hopefully days and weeks (haven't gotten there yet.)
I have struggled with the perfect inner dialogue to redirect myself away from AO's and DJ's, and FU's. I usually just say in my head "shut the **** up"
Be Still is such a better mantra, just saying it is calming. I also have printed your words, and plan to memorize them. Oh, if I could tape them to the inside of my head!!!!
Fightingback
BS (me) 36
WS 39
3 kids 3,4,8
together 15yrs
EA 9/06, PA 10/06
12/07 plan A
1/13/07 WS moves out
1/27/07 1st attempt plan B
2/20/07 REAL plan B
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 484
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 484 |
Bump, this needs to stay at the top
Fightingback
BS (me) 36
WS 39
3 kids 3,4,8
together 15yrs
EA 9/06, PA 10/06
12/07 plan A
1/13/07 WS moves out
1/27/07 1st attempt plan B
2/20/07 REAL plan B
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819 |
Thanks for bumping this. I needed it today. It is beautiful.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 74
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 74 |
This reminds me of (and I am severly paraphrasing scripture here) the story of Elijah, when he was running away from the evil queen Jezabel... he hid in a cave, and there was a terrible storm, earth quake, darkness etc... and it says the Lord was NOT in the storm, or the quake etc... it was a "Small still voice" that helped Elijah... I like to remember that when there are personal storms and earthquakes... just a thought to think ;o) PS. ya might wanna look it up in the bible since I did such a crappy job of reciting it...lol SAS. thx ARK for the reminder. SAS
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,306
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,306 |
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,155
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,155 |
bump...thank you TA and eaglesoar
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828 |
BUMP for Stillhurting and others,,,
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520 |
Bugs,
Got the bump. And it's something I would add to my favorites if I knew how.
Bugs your terrific.
Still
BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 665
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 665 |
I wish I had read this on my D-day.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 395
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 395 |
Be still...
But it's so hard...
Be still...
but, but, BUT...
Just be still...
But she's, they're...
be still...
Printing it out to read every morning...
Thanks ^^Ark
If God is a DJ, life is a dance floor, you get what you're given, it's all how you use it... Pink
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 502
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 502 |
ugh, I wish I had read this before I sent my wh that last email... it wasn't a mean email, it was a desperate one for answers and explination, it'll probably make him feel a bit bad at first, but I'm sure he'll get over it just as quick.
SerenitySoon
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (TALKINGNONSENSE),
453
guests, and
77
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,618
Posts2,323,473
Members71,916
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
