"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Teresa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

UGH!
My WW supposedly wanted to go to a concert lastnight, but I know she didn't. She left late and when she came home, she had gone to a grocery store that is not near the concert or our home. I asked her and she said she wanted to see what they had. Whatever! I asked about the concert and she said she just stayed for a little while then went to the library to study. For someone so interested in this concert she didn't act like it was important when she got home. I don't know how she studied when she left all her school things at home.

I am so tired of this junk. I am going to see the Human resources people at the University and I am going to try and catch her tomorrow, but if that stuff doesn't help...I think I am done. I may be better off taking my son a being alone. I just worry about my stepdaughter as I am the only father she has known, but I have no legal right to her.

UGH! another day

Can you afford a GPS tracker? Maybe even just renting one? One member got her results in just a couple of days. She had the route her husband took, the destinations, and time at each place.

I would go the the meeting with the university and calmly let them know what is going on, and that you didn't send your wife there to be seduced. Ask them what they plan to do to make sure OM doesn't do this to another family.

How much is a GPS tracker?

I just got ahold of my WW cell phone log. She has never stopped contacting him and is doing all the normal junk. She talks to him as soon as I leave, she talked to him when he was out of the country(probably to make the plans to meet her in Peru), she talks to him right until she comes in the door. These secrets and scheming are very upsetting and tiring.

I am going to the meeting with one idea...for him to be fired. His boss said this was not the first time and I think it should stop. I am contemplating a lawsuit. If my M is going under, I am taking them with me.

Somebody here bought one on ebay for $250. She had the goods on her husband in a couple of days.

The man needs to lose his job. His purpose is to be an educator, and he should be held to high standards.

I hope that you will be calm and not hostile. Ask them what they plan to do to make sure this happens to no one else.

I will be calm, but the lady does not seem nice. If she is not helpful, I will pursue a lawsuit and exposure in other ways the university will not want. HR lady seemed very concerned about me being quiet, she should be. I will be kind until it is time to be unkind.

Do you know how the GPS system works?

Be very calm and don't tip them off what you are going to do. Tell them you want to know how they will take care of the problem. They may want to think about it a couple of days. Then you can write a letter and explain that you are not satisfied.

Here is willingtowait's GPS post -

I used a GPS to track my WH’s activities and many MB’s suggested that I share the information since it may be helpful to others in the same situation.

I bought my GPS off Ebay. It is a LAS 3100-INT. (Land Air Sea is the brand name.) There are lots of places that carry this model on the internet. I just used Ebay because I got the best price. I paid $250.00 and $25.00 for second day air shipping, so the total investment was $275.00. Probably much cheaper than a PI!

The unit is a little black box with very strong magnets on the back. You just turn it on, replace the cover so no lights show, and stick it somewhere in the car. I put it up on a piece of metal under the plastic bumper in the back. I was nervous that it would come off, but even in a very violent thunderstorm with high winds, it stayed.

The device tracks all the movement of the car and the data stays in the unit. Once you retrieve it from the car, you simply hook it up to you computer using the cable that is provided, and download the data into the software that come with the unit. It is very, very easy.

You get a report that you can print out showing all the driving activity, speeds traveled, time stopped , etc. You can also see a map showing the driving route. Everything you need to know exactly where and when that car went.

If you need more info, I’ll try to help.

Thanks, WTW

P.S. - A HUGE thanks to all who encouraged me to use this. I was able to confirm my suspicions with no room for doubt.

Thanks believer...you have been a great help. I am looking into the GPS. I am trying to get a hold of an attorney friend of mine to see what he recommends about the meeting.

Thanks again

Since she talks so much with OM then get a voice activated digital recorder. Place/hide it in an area she is likely to talk to OM in. Very often placed in WW car. With luck less than $50.

One suggestion regarding the meeting. It’s an initial meeting. Sort of a fishing trip for HR dept. Just act assured. Tell them you have proof but your lawyer advised you not to mention what proof or show proof in order not to expose your sources. You have already established there is an affair and are now only investigating the scope. You can show phone records since they are common knowledge.

Also mention what the OM boss said about this not being his first time. Go on the offense and ask whether there are other documented cases on file with the HR dept. They won’t show you but then ask whether they have ever been subpoenad to hand over staff files.

You could possibly ask HR whether tehy could tell WW that OM has a track record.

Good idea bigger - you always have some good ones.

jlb,

You situation sounds so similar to mine that I thought I was in bizarro world for a moment. Then for a moment I thought the OM was the same guy my wife had the A with.

My wife is also hispanic and had an A with a hispanic professor at the university.

Anyhow, she acted very similar as you are describing your wife right now. Extremely uncaring and rude to me, told me the marriage was dead and she never loved me. This all happened while my son was (is) on a organ transplant list and my father was dying of cancer (he is now passed). You can survive this, you just have to take it day by day.

I highly recommend getting some independent counseling. Just so you have someone to talk to and get things off your chest. Also, talk to your doctor and get some AD's. I know you might feel unmotivated to do those things, but you will feel better once you do.

In my case, the university did nothing when I showed them actual emails proving the entire affair. They said as long as they were both consenting adults, there is nothing they can do. I hope you have better luck in that area. I was planning to send an email to the entire faculty in his department (as exposure), but it became unnecessary. Consider this if the university is unwilling to help.

The best thing I did was to expose to her family and mine. Even though her parents were in another country, their opinion and objection to the affair really got to her.

It's gonna be tough, and it will get worse than this once you expose, but if you want to save the marriage, you have to keep going.

Good luck.

I talked to the hr people. They were actually very nice. They are going to investigate and report to the proper chain of command. It will then be their choice to take action or not. They would not elaborate on how many offenses he has, but lets say they did not seem shocked about this guy. I am thinking about telling her family. I am pretty sure if I do they will not be happy, especially her grandmother. I am also almost certain that my WW will not speak to me ever again. I don't know...I bought a gps and plan on using it this weekend while I am away. I am not sure how I am going to get it in or on the car though. Another day and I hope good comes from all this in the end.

Does your WW know that this isn't his first time? It's one thing for a WW to think she's found a soulmate and quite another to think that she might be another notch on his bedpost.
Cherished

I do not believe that she knows, but I don't think I can be the one who tells her. She will not believe me and will probably lead to more distance between us.

My WW and I had sex this morning and now she is extremely upset. She said the we have a horrible relationship and that we shouldn't be having sex. She wanted to though and I am just confused. Anything I can do to make the situation better?

I just caught my WW at OM house!!!! I am supposed to be going out of town this weekend, but I had a bad feeling and decided to drive by his place. At first no sign of her car, but a couple of streets over and there it is. I went to the door, but they would not answer after several times knocking and then even talking through the door. Finally, he answers and says she is not there and to not make a scene. This goes on for a while and I leave in HER car. She called me and I told her to come talk to me or move in with him. She said she was there because he was sick. Guess he needed some special care. She was smug when talking to me and kept saying that nothing is going on. I asked why she parked so far away if there is nothing to hide. No good answer. SHe said she did not want to talk to me there because she was afraid of me. I was calm and still am right now. What should I do at this point.
I want to throw her stuff on the street.

I really need some help today. I have no support at home and just do not know what to do. I really can't take much more of this.

Wow man!

I'm shocked that none of the troopers trooped in here to help you.

What's happening now?

I think you did good on catching her there.

Photos, witnesses etc might be helpful.

Throwing her stuff out might be nice too. I didn't do it. I'm divorced. Maybe somebody who did can say if it worked or not.

-AD

Well, I haven't been on here for a while and much has happened. After our lasting outing, my ww said she was not going to see him and changed her cell phone to boot. It didn't happen though. She had contact with him and still does. She said she needed a reference from him. Whatever.

We are getting divorced. She had spoke of separating, but she has sinced went further than that. She found a program that will help her buy a house, but they said she had to be divorced, so here we go.

Anyway, thanks for everything from everyone on here. Good luck in your relationships.

By the way, the university is not really doing anything about him. I believe he is too important to them. I work for another college and he will be giving a presentation at my school next week. Great, he takes my family and now he invades my work. Life is just grand.

Have you considered Plan B? That would be next according the the MB program.