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Re: She isn't in love with me
kimberly234 #1563271 01/15/06 10:10 PM
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Hangtime
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Hangtime
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What does "bump" mean
Re: She isn't in love with me
Hangtime #1563272 01/15/06 10:13 PM
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Jennifer68 Offline
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It means she's bumping your thread to the top of the page.
Re: She isn't in love with me
Jennifer68 #1563273 01/15/06 10:14 PM
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Hangtime
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Oh, thanks. I got worried.
Re: She isn't in love with me
Hangtime #1563274 01/15/06 10:14 PM
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Quote
OK, since I haven't got the book yet, how do you initiate the NC discussion?

Print out the column I showed you from Dr Harley and tell her that contact must end in order for your marriage to ever recover. That is the height of disrespect to you and your children to continue to carry on her affair. If you are willing to stay and forgive her for her affair, then the LEAST she can do is end her affair NOW with a mutually written no contact letter. Let her know this is not a negotiable point. Because this is hopeless unless she ends contact, my friend. And that means ANY contact, emails, phone, everything.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101
Re: She isn't in love with me
MelodyLane #1563275 01/15/06 10:17 PM
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Hangtime
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Thanks
Re: She isn't in love with me
Hangtime #1563276 01/15/06 10:21 PM
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Hangtime, I will just caution you against taking the path of least resistance on this issue. If you do, I promise you will be damning yourself and your marriage to a slow death of a thousand cuts. Every contact with the OM will put your W back to Day 1 of recovery. And every time she contacts him will put you back to Day 1. Every contact will erode your trust and your love for her a little more each day until you hate the sight of her and are consumed with resentments.

Not being adamant about ending contact will kill your marriage, so don't back down on this issue. It is the only way she can ever withdraw from the OM. And she will never love you again until she does withdraw.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101
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