So, Ash, does all this knowledge come from experience? Could it be, your guy saw his Wife make all these great changes, and do all these things, you suggested here, and now he's suddenly interested in her, all over again? Is that where you saw or learned all this great info?

Just curious... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Oh yeah, almost forgot.......

www.gloryb.com (pink board)

They are twin boys born in march 2005...although 'she' thinks there is only one.We choose to keep our privacy as much as possible..he and I.

MB=MARRIAGE BUILDERS

ok this is beyond becoming childish....ashley...you came here first for help all along defending what has happened to you calling your lovers wife evil things. you ask for help for what to do and people tell you and you always have an excuse for why you don't want to do what your told...ok first off your lover has issues....and HE needs to deal with them himself....any man who tells you he feel suicidle is either sick or stupid. not to mention selfish....to even consider leaving his children by killing himself. That is a huge F$#%^ing flaw that he needs to deal with he needs independant counseling.
Now your not going to like reading this but oh well.. you are doing nothing to help your situation...all your doing is making things worse by continuing to let him fence sit and get what he wants from you both. you both need to let go...you need to let him deal with the rammifications he has set forth on his own. He is partly responsible for what has happened. he needs to deal with that by himself he needs counseling to work on his issues. You cannot interfer. while he is doing that you need to focus on yourself and your children. You need to be able to stand on your own without him. because you have 2 little boys who need a mother.

As far as HIS marriage goes. Butt out...it's between him and his wife. Truthfully you have no place in that issue. Any marriage couselor, priest, or sane person will tell you that. They need to work out there issues. You need to focus on your children and yourself and adding that drama to the mix is not healthy for them. They need stability in their lives and unfortunatly that is only going to be you for a very long time until their father can get himself together.

Stop focusing on someoneelses life and marriage and worry about your own life with 2 little boys. thats much more important than a man who would cheat on his wife and be irresponsible enough to procreate without being able to fully commit to those children....I know you don't want that for your children...and I hope you can rip your focus away from the drama with there father and concentrate on them instead. they need you.

*snort* <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You mean this bit Lem. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

This week's Pearl of Wisdom from Texas Wiseman, Bubba Confucious:

DON'T BE NO HO'!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

It would be best for all involved for you to end all contact with him and let him decide what he wants without your involvement. Then if he decides to end his marriage and follows through with the DV, then and only then will any relationship with him have any chance. If you stay during this time it will only have a negative effect for everyone and the blame and guilt will live on.

What you are living now is similar to a bygamist lifestyle. Two women sharing a man between two households each with children. That is just very yucky. End it now.

This is a very immoral example to set for your poor children. What a shame. Let him go, if he DV's then you can consider reconnecting after a time. It would even be best to have a bit of time after his DV to heal and reflect on all his choices before getting with you. He needs to learn to stand on his own two feet and be responsible for his own choices in life. He needs to get all set with his relationships with his kids from his marriage. They have to be his first priority....not yours. Let him be. Let him go.