Hi SadMommy -

Cute story about DD "running" -- Hope you are taking lots of pics of her at this age!!

Hey, I thought that it was 6 months before the D would be final here in our state.....Is it 6 months from the date you file or 6 months from the date all "papers" & settlement is agreed upon. When there are children involved there is a longer time frame than when there are not.

Hugs to you & DD!!

Kim

Whoa, 6 months? I have no idea. I think I had read it took 30 days from the time the judge signed. No clue. I'm sure I'll have the opportunity to ask my lawyer about it tomorrow. When WH came today, he said part of the reason he didn't return me call was that he was taking care of "personal business" which included talking to his lawyer about some things. I guess he got hit with discovery, too.

I asked him why he didn't call me all day after I left him two messages, and he accused me of sounding like I was talking to a child in the second message and he didn't want to deal with it. I apologized and said that if it did, it was b/c I felt like he was being rude by not returning the call, that it was about something for DD.

It's been a rough day so far. DD woke up early this morning and has been cranky all day. Finally get her top two middle teeth in! I got very emotional during church and cried. Then DD of course fell asleep in my lap when we got home and didn't want to go with WH. She was screaming and reaching for me when he was holding her. BROKE my heart.

Next weekend should be interesting. DD got invited to a neighbor's b-day party next Sunday afternoon during WH's time with her. I'm going to be really mad at WH if he doesn't take her. I showed him the invitation, and his response was, "I'll think about it."

Ah... so WH said he would switch with me next weekend so DD can go to the party. He didn't want to go b/c he "doesn't know those people." They've been our neighbors for over two years. Maybe it's b/c DD and I go to church with them and he would feel uncomfortable. Regardless, I'm glad she gets to go.

I'm guessing the stuff he had to talk to the attorney about yesterday was my counter-offer. I didn't even think about that, since it's been over a week ago that I met with my attorney to spell it out. But his attorney just got it Friday. Maybe that's why he was so short-tempered with me today and didn't want to call me back yesterday... probably P.O.ed and surprised that his wife has some guts. Should be interesting when he gets hit with discovery. I can imagine there are plenty of things he's not being honest about with his attorney...

So how can you be happy for a friend who seems to have everything going for her when your own life is a shambles?

Talked to a dear friend today that I haven't talked to in a while, and while it was nice to catch up, I just wanted out of the conversation. She's got a 6-month-old. Just started her new job after finishing her phD (did her discertation while on bedrest when she was pregnant!). She and her hubby just sold their house (only 3 weeks on the market) and are moving to a much larger, much nicer one. She talked about some accomplishments at her new job, and how they're going to trade in her car for a nicer one. We should all get together, she said.

It was hard not to start crying listening to her. While I'm so glad things are going well for her... she and her H have worked hard to get where they are, it was hard to be happy. Anyone else ever feel that way?

Just checking in to let you know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Things have been pretty quiet on the front. Been waiting to hear back from my attorney after dropping off my box of discovery documents. I don't if I should feel relieved I got that done or dread what will happen next.

You can be happy for her, and yet I would hope she sympathizes with your situation and isn't rubbing things in your face! You know, her life may seem perfect now, and yours may seem a shambles; but as you know God has all different things in store at different times with different lessons, some day (sadly) her situation may not be so rosy... hopefully she can enjoy the good times while they're there... we never know what's around the corner.

MSA

No, she wasn't trying to run anything in my face at all. She's a very sweet friend. I was just feeling particularly vulnerable at the time.

What's really weird is that in some ways, I'm happier now than before. DD and I get out quite a bit and do more stuff now than when H was here. And while it is lonely, sometimes it's nice not having anyone around... I can sit there and watch whatever I want on TV after DD goes to bed. I can sit here at the computer for however long I want and not have to explain myself to anyone.

Now SadMommy, what do ya wanna go around telling the secret for? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Shhhhhh! If you let this cat out of the bag, the entire American Family will be jeopardized! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />



Seriously though, I'm glad you are seeing the up-side to all of this... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SadMommy-

I can relate to what you are saying......Plan B has given me a whole bunch of independence & freedom......I DO want WH back, but hey I am actually beginning to enjoy my "single" life....(except for the lonliness part...). I cook what I want, eat when I want, CLEAN when I want. Yep, WH had a problem w/me cleaning too much....

Glad you & DS are doing good. Take Care!!!

Kim

MSA and Kim... I guess it's just that I haven't really lived on my own very much. I only had my first apartment out of college for a few months before H moved in. So this is the first time I've lived on my own. Well, not really on my own, since I have DD.

She and I had a nice relaxing weekend. She saw her daddy on Saturday, which gave me time to meet my dance troupe to practice. We have a big show coming up this weekend. Yesterday, I had her all day. We went to church, she took a long nap, and then it was off to a neighbor's birthday party. After that, we played outside until dinner time. She kept bringing me dead leaves like little presents.

I gave the house a thorough cleaning and had the windows open yesterday, which was realy nice. Today marks 6 months since WH left...

((Sadmommy))

My 6 month move out anniversery is coming up soon too.

I think we are both going to be OK <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Jean, yep, I couldn't agree more.

You know, I do so much more now than I did when H was here. Used to be, we would sit around on the weekend. Now, my weekends with DD are so busy. This past weekend, we went to a dinner party Friday night. Saturday I had dance practice. Then she had a birthday party Sunday afternoon. This coming weekend, my group of galpals are getting together Saturday to talk and craft, and I have two performances. Not to mention getting involved with church again. DD and I go to Sunday school and the service, which is a new thing for me.

I couldn't do any of this stuff if WH was still around. And what does he do when he has DD? Takes her to his parents' house every weekend. No visits to the park, no restaurants, no dinner parties, no movie nights with other friends who have children. Bo-ring. All he has is OW, and I feel like I have so much more.

I have to go the lawyer's office in a few hours to review the "discovery package." I don't know if that means going over the stuff I have supplied, all nicely packaged for WH's attorney, or if it's the list of questions/document requests we're going to ask for. I have to say, I'm a little anxious thinking about it...

Oops, nevermind! They're not done yet. So I've got another day or two of freaking out...

I'm really upset now. The attorney called me and said we needed to "step things up" to level the playing field, that the amount of information needs to be the same on both sides. Partly b/c what I'm asking for in the counter-offer, which is all perfectly fair and in DD's best interest in this bad situation, will probably put us in a hearing. He said he needs to jump into it with both feet and let WH know we're not afraid to take him to court.

While I'm obviously worried about the financial costs of this, I'm more worried about the emotional toll. I'm feeling very frustrated, confused, stressed out and upset. Why is WH making this so darn hard when he's the one who wanted out? Is it b/c I didn't want to do it on HIS terms? I just can't see why he's being such a jerk about all this.

I'm going to the attorney's office this afternoon to pick up all the discovery documents so I can make copies tonight b/c the attorney doesn't want to send over the originals in case anything gets "lost." Looks like a fun time for me, wading through all that mess again, but I'd rather do it for the cost of paper than pay the attorney's hourly rate... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I am sorry to hear you received frustrating news today.

Thanks, Jean. Ugh. I was at the office copying like a madwoman for an hour and a half and barely made it through half the box. Went through a whole ream of paper I bought at wallyworld, though. Had to race home to beat WH and DD here. DD was so sleepy, I decided to take time off tomorrow morning to finish up. I'm too tired to mess with it anymore tonight anyway...

Hope you can get some rest tonight. I know it's all yucky--wading through the papers,etc. I hate that it all comes down to papers. My WH asked me for all the financial info to take to his attorney--needs it by Friday and then it's anyday. Makes my stomach hurt.

Just stay strong for that little angel. Someone told me not to worry about the cost now, because it will pay off later on. Hope that helps.

Intexas, why on earth would YOU be getting all the financial stuff together for WH to take to his attorney? Make him do the work, if you can.

(Of course, I'm really one to talk, but I at least waited until I HAD to.)

How is the copying going today?

I am not sure what it is that you are having to do, and I am hoping it is not something that I should be doing !

Is this all just because the settlement agreement will most likely have to go to trial? How far are you two from coming up with an agreement?