That's what I thought, too, Hoopsie. My attorney didn't say much, only that b/c we had been aggressive, WH's attorney is being aggressive. Said she may have told WH it's hard to prove adultery. Said we need to meet and talk about what I'm willing to concede on, what I shouldn't back down on, etc.

While I know I've done nothing wrong, and there's nothing bad they can say about me that's true, I'm still really weirded out. I figured the settlement offer process would have a little more negotiation in it... he sends one, I cross things out and send it back and so on. But no... our one counteroffer, and Bam! they want a jury trial. The attorney said it's probably b/c we asked WH to agree to the grounds of adultery in the counteroffer.

I'm tempted to ask WH what on earth he's thinking with this next time I see him, but I won't. The counselor said he's probably past the point of being able to be reasoned with. I feel like this whole mess is being blown way out of proportion. This whole thing is so surreal...

SM -

As Georgia is a "no fault" state in the area of divorce, it is my understanding that the starting point for division of assetts is 50/50 split. Also, child support is pretty clearly delineated in the Ga Legal Code. If you've not read it, you should as it is easy reading and will give you a better understanding of what the lawyers and judge will be working with.

I think the tussel comes over actual alimony. I made an offer to my xW, and neither she or her attorney ever even responded at all.

Georgia

Yep, I have read it. I've been following the changes that are going to go into effect in July, too. Wouldn't make that big a difference in what he'd have to pay, since he makes more than I do.

I think it boils down to not wanting to admit he's committing adultery. Can't ruin his image, you know?

Get this... I get home and there's a letter from him: "a formal request for us not to let the spring selling season pass without the house being on the market." There's no way I'm going to put the house on the market until I know what I'll be working with for looking for new housing for me and DD. I want to buy something else and not hassle with renting and having to move again. I've told the lawyer this, and WH for that matter. I'm floored that he's so anxious to put his wife and child on the street!

*sigh* It never ends...

SM -

I have a hard time understanding why he would want a jury trial. Of course, he has the right to request it...but I would be at a loss as to what he would hope to gain by such a thing.

Once you have your Legal Separation agreement, which of course spells out who has to pay what while waiting on your D date...I wouldn't make ANY other commitments regarding finances at that point.

Georgia

Yep, GG... I agree. Mom was saying something about how houses usually arent sold until the judge says so. Is that the way it usually works? I mean, do divorcing couples often sell their houses before there's an agreement in place? His request just doesn't make any sense. I need to know what I'll be able to afford when looking for another place for DD and me to live. I guess the strain of keeping up three households is getting to him?

Yes, I think it is. You don't know yet how the assets are to be split. For example, my xW gets the first 10K from the sale of our house because I had already put about 10K into my new house (downpayment and such).

I wouldn't do anything until the judge says to do so...

Georgia

Oh boy... I got the official papers in the mail today. They're going for the contempt of court on the insurance. I feel sick.

(((sadmommy)))

How does your lawyer feel about it?

I am sure this is bad legal advice, but if my WH gets nasty like that, I would just drop the divorce petition. But I am still in my delusional phase of "I will have a good marriage or a good divorce" phase.

Well, I feel a little bit better after meeting with the attorney this morning. He seems to have a good handle on the situation. Said he's going to continue to push for mediation b/c a jury trial would be so expensive. Also said not to worry too much about the contempt of court thing.

Ran into an old friend from high school (lives an hour away) I hadn't seen in years tonight. There's this big annual charity sale in my town, and a friend from work had an extra ticket to the preview party, so we went. Lo and behold, my old high school friend was there with her mom, who now lives in town. Such a small world. It was so good running into them! Hadn't seen them since before I got married.

Mommy05,

I'm just catching up on your thread a little.

I think putting together a potential witness list for the trial, and leaking it to him might dampen his enthusiasm. I can't imagine that OW wants to be put on the stand so she can purjur (sp?) herself. That's not exactly the stuff of romance (at least in my book).

In my state telephone recordings are permissible if one party knows about and agrees to the recording. I don't know how it is in your state. So... if you can dial up OW and record the conversation - might catch her by surprise - with some kind of "I'm better at SF than you are" lead, and she might take the bait and start boasting. Who knows. I never did anything like that. I did try to record my W on the phone once. I'm sure I could have gotten a confession on tape if I had worked hard enough at it, but she was agreeing to what I wanted in the settlement, so there was no reason not to do it uncontested.

-AD

Hi, AD. Thanks for checking in. I figured the request for admissions would dampen his enthusiasm, because it pretty much laid out all the evidence of the A and it's all provable. But no such luck. The witness list is pretty small, just WH, OW, her XH who calls me all the time, and our neighbor friends who WH said some crude stuff to before he left. Other than that, no one really knows much.

I haven't said anything to OW since a couple weeks after WH left, and it probably would be best to continue that.

I'm still hoping and praying that WH will do the right thing here and settle so we can get this over with. Please keep us in your prayers!

On an unrelated and fabulous note, DD and I ventured over the big communiy park yesterday. It was the first time I'd been. I have to say, the playground is fantastic! DD had such a great time swinging, climbing and sliding, and I had a great time watching her. We went to an art opening last night for a friend, and DD was of course the star of the evening. Saw some folks I hadn't seen in a long time, and everyone thought she was the best thing ever. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, sm05, I sat next to your DD at dinner one time and I was very impressed with her too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-AD

Thank you! We went to a Japanese hibatchi place tonight with friends. Poor DD flipped out, screaming and crying. She was scared of the chef's performance! It was pretty funny.

I probably shouldn't have said anything to him, but when WH came back with DD today, I told I had stuff for him to pack his grandma's china with. He said something about not wanting to split it up, b/c we had to have something in the china cab for when the house is shown? I told him, "WH, I got your letter. I know you want to get the house on the market. I'm not trying to keep the house from going for sale, but I can't agree to it until we have an agreement in place. I need to know what my resources are going to be when I have to find a new place for DD and me to live." I was very matter-of-fact and business-like. He gave me a weird look, sort of a mixture of puzzlement, frustration, maybe a little anger and I hope a glimmer of understanding. He said he understood, and we left it at that. Gosh, I probably shouldn't have said anything. I guess I can't help hoping that maybe some sort of reason will get through to him... that maybe he'll see that I'm just as ready as he is for this to be over with, for him to just sit down and agree on a settlement with me.

It's good that you can give WH a little reality check every now and then IMO.

If I might ask - if you H emerged, not your WH, could you love him again? Or is there too much damage, just curious.

On the court thing - did you request in you divorce petition that WH pay the attorney fees??

We have been to court for the temp support issue, and like Peach said, we settled in the hall before the judge called us in. Why couldn't they have done that the day before?? I hate putting on pantyhose for nothing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I've thought about that alot, Jean, and unfortunately, I think I'd have to say no. Just knowing what was lurking underneath the surface of my beloved H... makes me sick. You know, maybe if I didn't see him on his way to work every morning from her place, or if he acted like he cared, even a little. But he doesn't. I could never love such a heartless person, someone who would do what he has done to his wife and daughter. Hurts very much to say that, but those feelings are gone.

Ugh, my poor baby. DD has been sick for two days now. Has had a fever of 102 off and on. She just sounds awful and feels miserable. I'm thinking it's a cold. WH actually called to check on her this morning!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Ohhh, I am sorry to hear that DD is puny. Give her a squeeze from her MB buddies.

I think (knock on wood) that she's getting better. The fever was gone today, but she still had the yucky congestion and crabbiness. I'm hoping she'll sleep through the night. I think we BOTH could use it!

Well, I got my summons for the pre-trial conference yesterday. It's at the end of the month. I know the only reason we're doing it is b/c WH thinks I'm in contempt of court over taking him off my insurance, which I did BEFORE I filed. This stinks.
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