Yep, I switch from side to side. That's really cute about your DD. That's called a belly roll, and some women take years to learn it! I know I haven't figured it out yet.

Hi SadMommy -

Will be thinking about you tomorrow!! Stay strong, ok? We will be there for you.

I have to go check my gas weedeater......it was on it's last leg last summer so I hope it will work!!

About time to mow the lawn again with all of this rain!!!

Glad you still have your belly dancing!!


Kim

Please pray for us, you guys. Tomorrow's going to be a busy day with the divorce. I hope mediation works!!

You will be in my thoughts ((Sadmommy))

Eek! Right now, my attorney and his attorney are minutes away from going in front of the judge. We filed a motion for continuance to get the case off the May 1 civil trial calendar b/c neither side is ready for it. Despite the fact that we have mediation scheduled this afternoon, WH insists it stay on the calendar... Feeling very, very nervous... Mediation is at 1.

Are you eastern or central time zone - I'll send you some calming vibes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Eastern.

So you are working this morning or are you with your attorney? I know the anxiety you are feeling, that whole court thing is so nerve racking. ((sadmommy))

Thank you, Jean. I'm at home today, puttering around with some serious nervous energy. Extremely thankful that I don't have to be there in court this morning. Waiting for my attorney to call...

Any update? Been thinking about you.

Sorry... DD and I went out to eat with friends, and I just got her to bed.

Mediation took 4 hours, but everything is basically settled. I feel pretty good about the settlement... it went about the way I had hoped. Got what I wanted in terms of custody/visitation, debt, etc. Ended up accepting $50 less a month in child support than I had wanted, but it was still $100 more than he had originally offered. (In addition to the percentage, I had asked for help with daycare/insurance.) And he was here this evening to get started on the yardwork. I was relieved that we were in separate rooms with the mediator going back and forth... I had been afraid of having to deal with WH and his scary attorney face to face.

A realtor is coming tomorrow to do a walk-through and come up with a listing agreement. WH's attorney is drafting the settlement agreement, so it should be wrapped up sometime this week. Hopefully we won't have a 5th wedding anniversary to "celebrate" (June 2).

Not sure how I feel right now... Very relieved there won't be a jury trial. Very relieved that things seem to be winding down, and it's a settlement I think I can live with. Yet, very sad. On my way to the parking deck to leave, I had to stop by the ATM, and WH was there. We talked for a minute about the yardwork. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks... what I'm losing, what's gone. That now I really will have to say goodbye to everything I've known, to really let go. When I got back to the car, I had to bawl. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

It's very bittersweet.

On top of all this mess, as if it weren't enough, I've had sob stories from both my bro and mom. Bro1 forgot to pay the electricity bill last month like he promised Bro2. Now the money for it is gone, and they're supposed to shut it off. Neither one of them has the money to pay it. Like I was supposed to bail him out, give him money for the bill b/c he p*ssed what he had away? He's 26, for cryin' out loud... more than old enough to pay his own bills. I asked him why he hadn't paid it, and his excuse was, "Well, Bro2 didn't remind me." When I suggested he call the company to work something out, he got huffy and hung up.

Mom's drama is that the doc won't write her any more pain pill prescriptions. Her latest one got lost in the mail, and she's been calling them every day about it... they think she's lying.

(((Sadmommy)))

I don't know what to say, other than I am glad this day is over for you and that it went OK for you.

Happy that it is over. Now he can really feel the effects of his decisions.

I suggest you let your family know that you can support them emotionally, but not financially right now.

I think it'll be a long time before that happens, if it ever does.

Man, I am EXHAUSTED in every sense of the word.

You know, it's almost funny. I'm much happier now than before. Nothing very exciting is happening in my life, but just having it ALL OVER feels so good. No more sleepless nights, constant stress, etc. My D isn't even final yet, but just knowing that I'm done is comforting to me.

Don't worry, he will regret it. They all do.

Sadmommy--I don't post to you as much as I should, but I always keep up with you and your dd. (Love her future belly dancer moves by the way!). Just wanted you to know that I, too, am glad you're at a place where you can feel some peace. It's a sad peace, I know. That word you used--bittersweet--so very true. I believe it gets better. We are the same age--we have a lot of years left to learn who we are and have a rewarding life.

Hugs to you tonight.

As much as I wanted to, I didn't sleep well last night. Woke up way before the alarm went off, feeling so... EMPTY. Fought back tears the whole way to work. Maybe I shouldn't be here today. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

While you're right, believer, it is indeed a relief that the hard part is over. However, I feel like there's so much hard stuff ahead.

Yesterday, when I ran into him at the atm on our way out of mediation, when he was talking to me, I saw H and not WH. He sounded like the H I've known and loved for so long. Really hit me hard, knowing what's gone now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for posting, intexas. Sounds like your WH and my STBX are cut from the same ugly cloth.

((sadmommy))

For myself, I imagine my grief and mourning process like a staircase. Sometimes, I just have to rest on one step and take some deep breaths. I look down at how far up I have come, I glance to the top.

The bummer is, I didn't want to walk up these stairs, I was happy on the level I was. But that first floor is crumbling and I am so grateful that I was able to find a staircase to help get me to safety.

So take a rest, mourn what you have left behind. But never forget that a higher power showed you the stair case and we have no idea what the second floor has in store for us.

I like your staircase analogy, Jean... that's pretty good.

Today was OK, I guess. Met with the realtor twice with STBX about the house. We still want some additional info before we decide how to sell it... there are a couple options we're considering.

Didn't get ANYTHING done at work... what the heck did I do all day?? Pretty much just moping around. Glad I see the counselor tomorrow.

{{{SadMommy}}}

I like Jean's analogy too. Don't have any advice, just letting you know I'm thinking about you.

The road is upward from here.

Kim