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Joined: Jan 2001
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So r u in the islands?
L.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 23
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 23 |
Yes, on the island of Oahu, near Honolulu. S
Stormy06, BH
Married 23 yrs
both 47
D18, S15, S13 w/me
D-day 24 Dec 05
Separated 25 Aug 05
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 23
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Posts: 23 |
Got a book on telling your kids about divorce and started reading it, may finally get around to talking to S13 about the subject since we seem to be low on drama right about now and the W is mind made up about no spring break visit at the end of the month. Will try to keep it as upbeat as possible but will be tough. Also trying to get around why W has abandoned us without saying she loves somebody else more now will be difficult to explain. Its not like we (W & I) argued all the time to tell him that's why we are not together. And since I don't agree with the D, will be difficult to not put the W in a bad light. Maybe I need to read the book some more, it follows the Sandcastles program so should be good. Any advice or tips out there for me?
Stormy06, BH
Married 23 yrs
both 47
D18, S15, S13 w/me
D-day 24 Dec 05
Separated 25 Aug 05
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 23
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Posts: 23 |
Have read the book more and watched a DVD about talking to kids about divorce but they seem to mostly focus on telling your child that because we fought so much is why we are apart now. But that's not the case with me and there is no chapter for talking to your kids if your spouse ran off with another man. Have tried talking to S13 but doesn't seem to want to when I start to get into it so I keep backing out. Will read some more and maybe a good day/time will come along.
Stormy06, BH
Married 23 yrs
both 47
D18, S15, S13 w/me
D-day 24 Dec 05
Separated 25 Aug 05
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 23
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 23 |
Well, the decision has been made for me about telling S13 about the D (not the A yet). The judge at the initial D hearing ordered "Parenting through D" by done by the end of the month. Guess that's the way it had to be done, at least S13 will know that it's being forced by the W and the courts and that I'm doing everything I can to save the marriage and be there for him. Now I probably need to find a way to ease him into it rather than just walk in and find out for the first time. Opinions? Input please?
Stormy06, BH
Married 23 yrs
both 47
D18, S15, S13 w/me
D-day 24 Dec 05
Separated 25 Aug 05
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 23
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 23 |
Finally got around to telling S13 about the divorce. He seems to be taking it OK. Also went ahead and told him about mom's special friend, had to in order to have him understand why this is happening. W did not come out for Spring Break but we go to her town for a summer vacation tomorrow for 19 days. Last chance to try and fix things in person before the D goes final. D18 is living there too now, went after college got out so will be great to see her again. S13 has not asked many questions like I thought he would but am keeping a close watch on him for signs of behavior out of the ordinary.
Stormy06, BH
Married 23 yrs
both 47
D18, S15, S13 w/me
D-day 24 Dec 05
Separated 25 Aug 05
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Well, the decision has been made for me about telling S13 about the D (not the A yet). The judge at the initial D hearing ordered "Parenting through D" by done by the end of the month. Guess that's the way it had to be done, at least S13 will know that it's being forced by the W and the courts and that I'm doing everything I can to save the marriage and be there for him. Now I probably need to find a way to ease him into it rather than just walk in and find out for the first time. Opinions? Input please? Stormy, Sorry, I did not keep up with your responses. There are at least 3 MBers on Oahu. S&C & I are on the Leeward side. Let us know if you need support. I'll send S&C an e-mail. IMHO, you should be honest with your children about the A. It isn't fair to them to keep them in the dark. Like my 6 year old told me during the height of the A: Mom, kids don't like to be lied to you know. Gotta love 'em.....they tell the truth. Let us know how we can help. take care, L.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361 |
Hey Stormy,
I have to be somewhere this morning so I can't really reply, but I wanted you to know I'm around if you need anything. My e-mail is [email]sandc_mb@hotmail.com.[/email]
Air Force is what brought me to Hawaii.
Later'z. God Bless you and your kids.
S&C
No man likes to have his intelligence or good faith questioned, especially if he has doubts about it himself. - Henry Brooks Adams
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